tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92022488987535221402024-02-20T20:50:23.510-08:00*ehu.*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comBlogger1290125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-66097078942128777232020-05-03T02:18:00.002-07:002020-05-03T02:19:13.237-07:00What. A. Day.!!!We were going to treat ourselves to breakfast out (drive-thru, of course), this morning. It was about 30 minutes before breakfast was going to end, so we rushed out to our truck. As we approached our truck, we noticed an ambulance and fire truck wanting to get through the gate. Since we forgot our masks inside, Levi ran back as I was courteous enough to hit the remote to let them in. Just as they pulled in, they decided to park right behind our truck. For about 30 minutes.<br />
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Adios breakfast trip.<br />
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I knew I had quite a lot of homework to get done today, so I jumped on it as early as possible. However, for the past day, our freezer hasn't been staying closed. I know we have a lot of food in there, but I was growing more concerned since it started to seem like the food wasn't staying as frozen as one would hope. For the next 3 hours, I was completely worried and checking on the freezer and fridge. At one point it sounded like it just died; it was dead quiet. The fridge didn't seem as cold anymore. Levi called the property manager, left a voicemail. I called the owner, and he said he'd reach out to the PM and have a repairman here on Monday.<br />
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Oh man, I was hustling hard trying to figure out what to do with our food. I posted on our church Facebook group for my congregation and I couldn't be more grateful for those friends who reached out to help, my sister for offering my nephew's mini-fridge and my ol' friend who I go to with ALL my car questions (cars = fridges, right??) answer my questions. Thankfully, after Levi pulled the fridge out and dusted stuff on the back and plugged it back in, it started to work again and get cool.<br />
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Couple hours later, it's not super cold again. UGH. We cannot lose the food in there. :( Guess we'll just hope and pray until Monday! Oy vey!*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-54421225178215672132020-04-26T00:27:00.002-07:002020-04-26T00:27:51.541-07:00One week down, thirteen more to go!<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So week 1 is done and over with. </div>
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Did it go by faster than I expected? Not really. </div>
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Were there a lot more assignments than I expected? Somewhat. </div>
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Did I get tired of all the introductions I had to write and reply to? YES.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg52EEve5U6k124g-BSRW3EOF9frTrKHUBMUJat3sX7mIoVjZehyphenhyphenNl8mGDVFRIsZhBu_GdEDFjgCrkhzLAANRhclYwQGNXa15zLfgPDRxxvSzG0ajBHx4-UpBbXrlVa-08cQkMQfmT6O3xp/s1600/meme-holland-failed-trying-praying-1773876-print.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="833" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg52EEve5U6k124g-BSRW3EOF9frTrKHUBMUJat3sX7mIoVjZehyphenhyphenNl8mGDVFRIsZhBu_GdEDFjgCrkhzLAANRhclYwQGNXa15zLfgPDRxxvSzG0ajBHx4-UpBbXrlVa-08cQkMQfmT6O3xp/s320/meme-holland-failed-trying-praying-1773876-print.jpg" width="222" /></a>One the awesome perks of this past week was helping out my old Pathway missionaries, Elder & Sister Z. They asked me and "Mrs. Reeves" to teach their new incoming students. I was assigned the religion class; Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel. Man, oh man, I was nervous!!! Then again, I'm always nervous. I was nervous because these were students who I had never met in my life, but also they were brand spanking new, which would probably mean that they weren't going to talk much. The upside to this teaching opportunity was that a majority of these students were from Hawai'i! It was pretty fun to observe Mrs. Reeves' class during the first hour and then I taught for the second hour. </div>
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I'd like to say that the Spirit was strong. Several students, men included, were crying and tearing up. I hope they were able to learn something in the class. At the very least, I hope they knew of my love of the Savior. </div>
<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-70833434238675733282020-04-26T00:18:00.003-07:002020-04-26T00:18:43.195-07:00Happy Birthday Mom!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCRvENDbQzIT5ZCDXu2Nh3zrz95Udh99V510Ixlt6MiVgJmdK12r40WFBWetd4cakBjnId23URimD-AEHyjy0w4-ZDgQIMBcuDXpfXnaK10hRAxRaA2khDDIQfKUw1nZTs2EluqxElCk-T/s1600/IMG_4796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCRvENDbQzIT5ZCDXu2Nh3zrz95Udh99V510Ixlt6MiVgJmdK12r40WFBWetd4cakBjnId23URimD-AEHyjy0w4-ZDgQIMBcuDXpfXnaK10hRAxRaA2khDDIQfKUw1nZTs2EluqxElCk-T/s320/IMG_4796.jpg" width="320" /></a>April 25: Today's my Mom's birthday. I'm glad I got to talk to her today. I'm always glad when I can share with her details of a project I'm working on. She got my pictures of the granny squares I crocheted! I know I'll never have my Mom's talent of crocheting, but at least it's not completely lost on me.<br />
I miss her. I wish I could visit her more often, or that she lived a little closer to the west coast. I know she doesn't have many more birthdays ahead of her, I truly wish she did, but her health isn't the greatest. As selfish as this sounds, I hope she makes it past my birthday. I don't want to lost both parents by the time I turn 40. <br />
I was thinking of my Mom today. You know, she talks a lot... not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a good thing for her because I don't feel like she comes across many strangers. At least, they're not strangers after my Mom's talked with them for a while. She makes friends easily, she talks to everyone. I don't think I'm much like her, in that regard, but maybe my husband would say otherwise. She's very social and I know at this time in the world, it's hard for her not to be social with everyone she's coming across these days. <br />
A friend checked in on me and wanted to know how I felt about my Mom, her health and her near future. I told this friend that I've gotten everything I could have ever wanted from my parents. I know they love me. I've learned all that I could have, I think. I know a good amount of my Mom's recipes and if all else fails, as my Mom's always says, "Just make any kine!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKKqOIIEcCTzQL7qgagIL6vtLK0mRgRGCQZV7t3NmcR09LFykWEfyEAmmr5YW_ezsoPLdYMmfNbnBMU5PqwUsbA0nS4ks2y7ILIzhSn9MuZL7E1SMFR1ofwNbB07T2rLpyWH_50uTmq76D/s1600/IMG_0151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKKqOIIEcCTzQL7qgagIL6vtLK0mRgRGCQZV7t3NmcR09LFykWEfyEAmmr5YW_ezsoPLdYMmfNbnBMU5PqwUsbA0nS4ks2y7ILIzhSn9MuZL7E1SMFR1ofwNbB07T2rLpyWH_50uTmq76D/s320/IMG_0151.jpg" width="240" /></a>I know I shouldn't be eulogizing her already, I'm just aware that there's not a whole lot of birthdays left on her horizon, as much as I would wish. Sometimes, I think it's so unfair that I was born so late in life for my parents; they had me in their mid-40's. I would have loved to have known them at a younger age. <br />
I'm thankful for all my Mom has taught me, both in word and deed. I can only hope that I'm the daughter she would have envisioned, the person she hoped that I would have become. I also hope that she knows how much I love her, after all the grief, all the smartass comments, and grey hairs I gave her.<br />
*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-42918719743239899162020-04-22T21:14:00.000-07:002020-04-22T21:26:55.727-07:00Thought-provoking!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="verse-number" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0d0f10; font-family: "palatino" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino bold" , , "pahoran" , "pahoran ldslat" , "noto sans myanmar" , "notosansmyanmar" , "saysetthaldslao" , serif; font-size: 0.9em; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span class="verse-number" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0d0f10; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: 700; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #0d0f10;">Why do ye adorn yourselves with that which hath no life, </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 18px;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">and yet suffer the hungry, and the needy, and the naked, and the sick and the afflicted to pass by you, and notice them not?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Mormon 8:39</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "open sans"; font-size: large; text-align: left;">“We believe those things which all must believe to gain an eternal inheritance in the kingdom of God. Obviously the Articles of Faith are a basic statement of the beginnings of our beliefs. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "open sans"; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">When we have mastered what is in them, we will be in a position to go forward in the University of the Universe,</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "open sans"; font-size: large; text-align: left;">studying and believing until we believe and know all things.”</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "open sans"; text-align: left;">-Elder Bruce R. McConkie</span></span></span></div>
*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-57289333322757786772020-04-21T03:55:00.001-07:002020-04-21T03:55:08.219-07:00Monday; The First Day!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEoSgsLutcw4xoX4ROxQG1P5DIY4dPwgJr8hkg-XJeQGTl7VdDU15xBJPbhcxHhHjcF_2wtIMAZ0KIV55SSALahVe5acTKw3qc54kuYdkXAFBfNrOaJZg6fdWPClSKal4GSy8q2FH4sxLg/s1600/meme-holland-future-1245993-tablet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEoSgsLutcw4xoX4ROxQG1P5DIY4dPwgJr8hkg-XJeQGTl7VdDU15xBJPbhcxHhHjcF_2wtIMAZ0KIV55SSALahVe5acTKw3qc54kuYdkXAFBfNrOaJZg6fdWPClSKal4GSy8q2FH4sxLg/s320/meme-holland-future-1245993-tablet.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I checked out my classes for this semester. I'll only be taking 3 classes at first and then in 6 weeks, I'll have 4. I like the block system of BYU-Idaho! I'm hopeful for what's to come! I'm glad the format all looks familiar from Pathway, so it's not a huge leap. I still can't believe it! I'm actually a BYU-Idaho student! My dream is slowly coming together and I couldn't be more grateful!!! I always wanted a Bachelor's Degree so in a few years, I'll finally accomplish this lifelong dream. I'm sorry it's taken this long, but better late than never, right?! *ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-8845730034301904862020-04-20T11:34:00.000-07:002020-04-20T11:34:00.962-07:00First Day of School!<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Today's the first day of school! My first day at a UNIVERSITY! Of course, it's online but still, this is pretty major for me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm feeling excitement for what's to come, a bit of anxiousness to do well and not get overwhelmed, happiness to achieve this educational opportunity and hopefulness of getting along with my peers and learning from them.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Seriously, I'm so excited!!!</span>*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-38551560878325811082020-04-20T03:01:00.001-07:002020-04-20T03:16:52.779-07:00Friendship and Grief.About an hour ago, my best friend texted me. I completely missed her text from Saturday. I had A LOT going on, on Saturday, between some serious family stuff, setting up a virtual meeting for the women at church and talking with a long distant aunt. I saw a text from her come in that afternoon, after we had texted earlier that morning. I didn't get a chance to read it and had completely forgotten all about it.<br />
The text an hour ago delivered the outcome of Saturday's missed text; the devastating news of her Dad's passing.<br />
I wanted to be as gentle and kind to her, as she was for me when my own Dad passed about 3 years ago. There's no way I could ever be as tender as her; she is the epitome of empathy. I think I'm the friend you come to when you want a good laugh, a pleasant distraction. Of course I wasn't cracking any jokes, but I just wanted to distract her away from the bottomless pit of grief she was feeling in that very moment. How do you console the most empathetic person you know? Do as they do? Say what you would want to have said to you, if roles were reversed?<br />
I. Don't. Exactly. Know.<br />
This made me think of how I need to more compassionate. We could all improve on that, right? I just hope that maybe, just maybe, she felt <i>some</i> compassion or understanding from me. If anything, I'd like her to know that I understand some of the emotions she may be experiencing right now and in the days and weeks ahead. Maybe my compassion just comes in the form of suggesting lotion-infused tissue and eye masks to help with the puffy eyes that comes with grieving...or the recommendation of sleep and food as they can help someone feel a little more human when you feel like a robot going through the motions because your mind, body and heart seem disconnected and stunned beyond belief.<br />
My friend, my dear sweet friend of my heart...please know how much I love you and would gladly and resolutely shoulder this pain with you if it meant that your heart could feel a little less heavy as you navigate through this new normal. I love you.*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-6289929888092154322020-04-11T23:50:00.002-07:002020-04-11T23:50:38.122-07:00Hosanna Shout!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw52aPyHzTlHwerHzEGhsFPNnMplKFOfoD9cP9WC_YHDnh0_yzcwjl5LENdBbm6ZVm0LGDy7zLSwxl5s8yv11NxX5yC0Lze9JbrSPpCDc3zG_wB8cR4tkqmuRAbhbwwgHJiZTOkltVJGPR/s1600/IMG_2600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw52aPyHzTlHwerHzEGhsFPNnMplKFOfoD9cP9WC_YHDnh0_yzcwjl5LENdBbm6ZVm0LGDy7zLSwxl5s8yv11NxX5yC0Lze9JbrSPpCDc3zG_wB8cR4tkqmuRAbhbwwgHJiZTOkltVJGPR/s320/IMG_2600.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3OTaDHCnrs8HYQsFKes7mHeoYgK-d3lx1vJfMSj9czRHgpvfQL62_nyZ4imnOpkSvz01P0tVc-dR28wodFav5FdEor06NIr3UQykVeuAl-uu2Q1PFAgk-6I9Uo4NkXBmWMIa4NNVmM9Hg/s1600/IMG_2610.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3OTaDHCnrs8HYQsFKes7mHeoYgK-d3lx1vJfMSj9czRHgpvfQL62_nyZ4imnOpkSvz01P0tVc-dR28wodFav5FdEor06NIr3UQykVeuAl-uu2Q1PFAgk-6I9Uo4NkXBmWMIa4NNVmM9Hg/s320/IMG_2610.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Last Sunday, during the Sunday morning session, President Nelson announced a new proclamation to the world. This proclamation is in regards to the Restoration of the Fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was announced the day before that a Hosanna shout would occur the next day. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we were invited to participate in the Hosanna shout with a clean, white handkerchief. <br />
Since I didn't have a clean, white handkerchief, nor could I easily go to the store to buy one, I decided I would make one. I happened to be going through photos on Saturday and came across the crocheted piece seen above. It was a piece that my Mom did many years ago. I thought it would be a lovely piece to add to my homemade handkerchief. I wanted to mark it with something special to commemorate the significance of it. I added the year in vinyl. <br />
The reason I love this handkerchief so much is because it is made by the sewing talent shared by my Mom and I, the crocheting talent of my Mom and the vinyl talent that I possess. It's special because of that and just the sacredness and beauty of the proclamation that Pres. Nelson shared during this very unique General Conference. <br />
<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-14820898001725374182020-04-02T02:51:00.001-07:002020-04-02T02:51:05.718-07:00The 2:47am PostI don't use this much anymore. I do most of my daily posts on my Instagram. <br />
I kinda miss blogging. Although I'm rather curious if anyone else still swings by this blog. <br />
I started a new blog though, I've posted there once...haven't been back since. Just tried to log in, but I've forgotten the password and have now been sidelined for a few minutes. Doubt I'll remember the password in a few minutes...<br />
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Anyways, it was nice blogging for a moment. I might post again soon. <br />
<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-7427105560062317992019-08-31T13:59:00.001-07:002019-08-31T13:59:16.067-07:00Thoughts on a Saturday afternoon: Sleeping, blogging and studying.My husband's asleep. <br />
Last night was my first time being home, alone, overnight. I've left my husband alone for extended periods of time, like the time my Mom and I went to Hawai'i last year and 3 years ago when I had to stay with my Dad while Mom was in the hospital.<br />
I had big ideas of cleaning our place from top to bottom. I ended up binge watching Friends and eating junk food. Probably my laziest night, ever. It was mentally relaxing.<br />
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Anyways, this is far from what I wanted to post about.<br />
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I've been wanting to change my blog name for a while. So much so that I thought I'd start a new blog over on Word Press. There's a post. Just one. It's weird to start anew like that. Came back to this blog and realized that I could just change the blog address. Easy peasy......if I could figure out what I wanted to change it to. We'll see...<br />
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Other than that, I need to study our Sunday School lesson more. T-minus 21 hours.*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-34803367499764747982019-08-30T23:46:00.004-07:002019-08-30T23:46:55.431-07:00GOOD NEWS!!!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I received GREAT news today!! I don't really want to share it just yet, but I'm pretty ecstatic for what this Fall will bring. I was ready to give up hope and think that things weren't going to come together before the deadline....but it did!!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can't wait for this new (and somewhat familiar) adventure!!! </span></div>
*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-20016820614009595722019-08-30T23:37:00.001-07:002019-08-30T23:37:41.851-07:00Meet Liberty & friends.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I had to do some serious updating to this blog. Not major, but I did have to replace Lava's name with Liberty's, since Lava passed away last year. This is Liberty. Can you see why he has this name? He's a beautiful red, white and blue. </div>
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He's such a great little fish. He's surely grown since these photos from the day I got him, August 12, 2018. He doesn't swim around as much as before. I think he's getting old. Makes me sad. He's the oldest betta in the office. I hope I have a few more months with him. I love having a pet fish. Bettas are just so beautiful. I've since added 3 neon tetras and 1 snail (there were 2, one died...or was hibernating for a long time and looked dead.). </div>
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So that's Liberty! I wish I had an even bigger fish tank at home. It's so enjoyable just watching them swim around....that is, when I have a free minute at work to watch them. :) </div>
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*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-88727393686629297952019-03-18T01:19:00.001-07:002019-03-18T01:19:54.246-07:00The 1:08am PostSince I should be sleeping, this is gonna be a quickie.<br />
<br />
Can't believe it's been a year since I last posted.<br />
<br />
I definitely need to get to sleep because 7:00am will be here soon enough!<br />
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Just wanted to post a quick pic of this handsome man and I from after church today.<br />
<br />
We had a great weekend together and I'm glad we get one more weekend before his schedule changes for the next few months.<br />
<br />
However, I'm looking forward to having Saturdays to myself again. I LOVE having a whole day to myself, to do as I please. First thing on my list: set up my craft table/desk again. I have a few postcards to send out and I've really missed using my typewriter lately.<br />
<br />
Anyways, I need to get some shut-eye. Nofo a!<br />
<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-44319789299524130282018-04-11T22:52:00.001-07:002018-04-11T22:52:36.375-07:00Rude people.I feel like my day was just full of RUDE people.<br />
<br />
All day!<br />
<br />
Just one right after another.<br />
<br />
Inconsiderate, rude people!<br />
<br />
It was pissing me off and I just wanted to scream or at least vent to one of my friends at work but he left early and Levi was swamped at work. I'm still pretty grumpy about today because how could I just come across SO MANY rude people in ONE DAY?!<br />
<br />
GRRRR!!! So glad to get away this weekend. I'm ready for a reset!*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-34645635183737745632018-03-05T16:39:00.000-08:002018-03-07T21:37:50.647-08:00Blogging in 2018.I can't believe I haven't posted in SO long...at least since
October. I used to LOVE blogging but with the ease of Instagram, I
think that's become my new blog.<br />
I used to blog SO much here that
there were more posts here than in my own [handwritten] journal.
Anyways, I think it's a slight goal of mine to blog more. I mean, it
won't be as much as my Instagram since that's always easy to do.<br />
So much has happened in the last 5 months since my last blog post...<br />
<br />
WORK: I moved to another office for about 6 weeks, and then into my own office mid-December. <br />
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<br />
<br />
I
LOOOOOOOOOVE having my own office. I love having a door I can close. I
love not having my stuff moved around (happened quite a bit during
those 6 weeks). It's so nice and quiet and I can listen to my headphones
without looking rude. LOVE IT<br />
<br />
CHURCH: I don't attend as
often as I should (aka every single Sunday). I don't enjoy sitting
alone during Sacrament meeting and I sure as heck don't want to be
pestered with questions about my personal life from those individuals of
which I don't even know their first name. I try to just go to Relief
Society, the 3rd hour class. It helps that I have a calling in the
presidency or else I'd probably not attend as often as I should. To be
honest, I only like to go to sing the hymns or play the piano. <br />
<br />
LIFE: <br />
I like to make lent goals. This year, I've decided to go with this: <br />
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<br />
Some days are easier than others but man... April 1st can't come soon enough. I miss drinking orange juice!<br />
<br />
A
friend from work asked what my monthly goals were. I didn't have any
and she was keen on making sure I, along with 2 other friends, made
monthly goals. Man....didn't think these 4 goals would be THAT
difficult to achieve! <br />
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Other than that, this has been my morning 5-6x a week:<br />
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<br />
I
seriously LOVE LOVE LOVE working out at the gym before work! It's the
best way for me to start my mornings. I LOVE having this morning
routine! It makes all the difference in my work day! Plus, I love
keeping track of my progress w/ Fitbit. Levi and I started working out
last May but after August, it wasn't a huge priority since my goal in
life then was just to make it through the day. Since mid January, I've
been going almost every morning (even Saturdays!). I don't know why I
enjoy it so much. I guess because I want to see how my body develops.
Also, I like seeing the same people at the gym in the mornings. It's
just fun. I like to do an hour of cardio (elliptical & treadmill)
and then I work whatever muscle group needs attention (<i>read:</i> doesn't hurt as much).<br />
<br />
And that seems to be about it for 2018 so far. :)*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-58441891650042092562017-10-17T12:10:00.001-07:002017-10-17T12:25:45.278-07:00My heart.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This man.<br />
He shows his love for me every day, all day and in many, many ways. I am beyond lucky that he chose me. As he has reassured me many times, my happiness is his happiness. I don't know how I would have pulled through this difficult time which hasn't been easy for him as well. I can only imagine the feelings and deep emotions that has stirred within him regarding his own Mom that passed away 5 years ago, and now having to watch his wife go through the same experience. <br />
I am grateful for my sweetheart who has put my wants before his needs which doesn't seem fair in the least bit but to ask him to do differently would be like asking him not to breathe; nearly impossible.<br />
Heaven knows of our struggles, but it also knows of all the love in my heart for him, for his patience and most especially his enduring love.<br />
My cup runneth o'er. *ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-44735663979275242922017-09-17T23:54:00.001-07:002017-09-18T00:36:17.892-07:00"A new normal"Today's been rough. I used to call my parents on Sundays because it was the day after my Dad's dialysis so he'd usually be more energized.<br />
<div>
I still try to call my Mom on Sundays. It's hard. It's hard not to just ask for my Dad, like usual. Today, we talked for about 40 minutes, just her and I. I guess this is our new normal.</div>
<div>
I miss saying, "Hi Dad!" My chest feels hollow today. I miss last Sunday. I had all my loved ones in one place. </div>
<div>
I know I still have so much to blog/journal about, but it's so difficult to think about certain things and rehash certain experiences.</div>
<div>
All I know is that I miss my Dad more and more and just when I think I'm doing better, my chest bottoms out and my heart just sinks, like a ton of bricks have fallen all over me, repeatedly. Sometimes it's a task just to breathe. I try to act normal and BE normal, but I'm still adjusting to this new normal. </div>
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I miss him more than I'll ever be able to describe and sometimes I don't know how life can just be normal and happy again. This is the hardest challenge of my life. </div>
*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-39721715933428986582017-08-29T00:08:00.002-07:002017-08-29T00:11:22.175-07:00August in Rewind: Thursday, August 3. (temple)Thursday, August 3 (temple)<br />
<br />
I was nervous about my nephew being late to the temple since he was going to be Levi's escort. Slim texted me to tell me that he was already there while we were about 8 minutes away. That made me even more anxious. I was doing my very best to be calm. Levi just wanted to make sure we got there on time but I knew that since it was a Thursday, it wouldn't be busy at the temple. PLUS, it's not like they could start without us. <br />
We pulled into the parking lot and found a great parking spot. Close to the entrance and close to the front of the temple where we would be taking a lot of photos afterwards. As we started to walk away from the truck, I wanted to take a photo of us. <br />
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<br />
I wanted to send a photo to my parents so they could feel like they were included in every step. I was excited and was also trying to take in every single moment of the day. It was quiet on the temple grounds, barely anybody in sight. MAYBE there were 2 other people on the grounds. It was quiet and peaceful, unlike the usual hustle and bustle of a Saturday. This was another reason why I'd always wanted to be married/sealed on a Thursday.<br />
We walked in and there was my nephew and his wife. My nephew's wife didn't have her temple recommend w/ her, so she could only hug us at the reception desk and had to wait for us during the ceremony.<br />
The temple seemed different that day. I felt like I was looking at it through new eyes. I went into rooms that I had only been in once or twice before. We first walked into the waiting room and my old roommate, Sestra, was there. I gave her a huge hug and I got choked up hugging her. I haven't seen Sestra in about 7 years, and we were roommates over 12 years ago. Sestra was the best roommates I could have ever had (upon moving out for the first time). She is kind, sincere and genuinely goodhearted! I think I squeezed her so tight because she I was over the moon to have her here, in person, celebrating this beautiful experience. Also because I never knew if I would ever get to this point in my life; being married & sealed. I wish I could have spent all afternoon just catching up with her. <br />
Reed was next to Sestra and she would be my escort for the day. Unfortunately, my sister's recommend also expired without realizing it til that day, so I needed someone I was close to; Reed. I love Reed just as much as I love my sister. I've known Reed since the day I returned home from my mission I love her children and couldn't be more grateful to consider her family. More and more of our guests were showing up, Auntie Sue, Mike & Julie, Buzz...all our dear loved ones. My heart could just burst at the seams. <br />
We needed to go over paperwork stuff, so they took us to a side room. I could see more of our guests walking in and I just wanted to greet them all! We were sitting in a room about 20 feet away just watching them all. They were all there for us. I had to fight back the tears many, MANY times.<br />
We went over paperwork stuff, and then the temple president called us into his office. My heart just wanted explode! I wanted to cry because this was all becoming a reality. He explained what was going to take place and my heart was full of love for the man next to me. He learned about this gospel and joined this religion so that we could be a forever family and it was all coming together. I wanted to just slow down a bit, and sit there on that couch a bit longer because I wanted to take it all in. Plus it was so dang hot and I was tired of being a hot sweaty mess!<br />
We went back to the waiting room and more guests had arrived. Our missionaries (technically Levi's missionaries), Jordan & Travis came all the way from Idaho. I wanted to just cry. I love these two return missionaries. We were then ushered to go upstairs to change. Slim walked over w/ Levi to rent some clothes and I had my brand new temple dress in my bag. We headed up the stairs and over to the bridal room. <br />
I hadn't been in the bridal room since I was endowed 15 years ago. It was nice to be back. It was just as beautiful as I remember and today I was to be the bride. I was sad that my sister wasn't there with me, but I was grateful for Reed. Can I just say that I LOVE my dress?!?! It is so comfy and soft and ooooooh so pretty! I got all dressed and I felt so beautiful. This was it. I was going to be sealed, to my sweetheart, for time and all eternity. We walked up the stairs together and everything seemed to look different. It wasn't the temple I had known all my life (since I was 12). It just felt different that day. Good different, but almost foreign. I don't know why, but I was alright. <br />
There were beautiful parts of the ceremony that are seared in my heart, forever. <br />
We were able to sit in the Celestial Room for a tiny bit, which gave me time to teach my first name to the temple sealer. Of all the things I wanted that day, I wanted someone who could pronounce my name. After about 10 minutes of talking with him, it was time. I was friggin' hot and sweaty, so was my poor Levi. It was just so dang hot and humid that day!!! Wearing layers upon layers of clothes doesn't help a situation. Then it was time.<br />
I tried to remember every single word spoken in the ceremony. Although I can't discuss it all, I remember how I felt. My sweetheart was going to be mine, forever. I wanted to cry. I was happy and over the moon about it. I wished with all my heart that my parents could have been there with us. I wish my sister was sitting by me. I wished my Kuku & Tutu could have had front row seats for it all. But that's ok, the most important thing was that we were being sealed for time, and all eternity. <br />
It was the most exquisite and most serene ceremony I had ever been a part of. <br />
Afterwards we were able to hug everyone that came. I absolutely LOVED that part! I loved embracing everyone who came. I wish I could have had at least 5 minutes with each person because they all meant so much to me, and to us. <br />
After we hugged everyone, we were talking with our witnesses, Jordan & Travis. I expressed to them, with all the love in my heart, how truly grateful I was for their missions. I will forever be grateful for their missionary service because they helped give me eternity with my sweetheart. Their eyes were wet and there was just so much love in that sealing room. My heart was full.<br />
And just like that, it was over. It happened so quickly. I wish I took a moment longer to really look at everyone in our company that day. I know I didn't because I was already so close to crying so many, MANY times and I was trying hard NOT to be a bawling, bumbling mess that day. As for our actual wedding day, 3 years prior, I was a mess. I was crying from the second I walked down the aisle to the second I walked out of there. I was a nervous, anxious mess. I promised Levi that I would do better this time around and I think I did him proud. Nonetheless, thank heavens for water-proof mascara! <br />
Wow, it was over in about 20 minutes. Something so lovely, and grand and just awesome was over before I knew it. My heart wanted to just stay in the sealing room. Eternity was given to us and I just wanted to relish in the wonder of it all. <br />
My beautiful, selfless best friend of a husband was and is mine for eternity. My cup runneth o'er.*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-26617695694491686082017-08-24T09:30:00.000-07:002017-08-29T00:11:11.073-07:00August in Rewind: Thursday, August 3. (pre-temple)Thursday, August 3 (pre-temple)<br />
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Today's our 3 year wedding anniversary!!! I woke up around 9 and Levi was still asleep. I love watching him sleep because he looks so peaceful. It was still early enough and my Dad wouldn't be at dialysis just yet. I called over to my parents and spoke with both of them. I wanted to call and thank them for their example of loving and serving in the temple. It was a good phone call. We were all emotional. My Dad, like clockwork, asked about Levi. He always asks about Levi and how he's doing with work. I told him that Levi was asleep in bed. My Dad was speaking so slowly but I'm glad to hear that he was eating quite a bit today, from Mom. I just felt like I needed to talk to my parents this morning because this was a big event that was taking place in my life and I wanted them to to feel like a part of the day. I wish they could be there in the temple with us that day but I know deep in my heart that they already know how all of this works. I owe a lot to my parents in helping me get to the temple, each time I've gone for something important in my life.<br />
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I just wanted the world to know how much I love and adore this sweetheart of mine. <br />
He finally woke up and we went to grab breakfast. We went to McDonald's for 2 deluxe breakfasts. As soon as that was done, I went to get my toenails done. If there was anything I was going to do, it was to get my toes done! I needed "vacation toenails"! I love me some French tip toenails!<br />
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Man, it is extremely humid today!!! Like it's just so friggin' hot and humid!! Sweat on top of sweat on top of sweat! My phone's going off like crazy with texts and Fb & Instagram notifications. I got to talk to my best friend, MamaStephy. Man, I love her and I can't wait to wear the special Lularoe dress she sent me! Oh how I wish she could be here!<br />
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I'm off to do my nails. Hopefully this doesn't take long! Thankfully, I have everything set in my temple bag for us. I have my brand new temple dress (OH SO PRETTY!!!) and our temple recommends in the zipper! We're set!<br />
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*Dang nail salon took a while. UGH, I guess that's what I get for not getting a pedicure more often! :( Wow...time is flying so quickly!!!! I need to do my nails!!! <br />
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I took a shower and after I turned it off, it's still so hot and sticky!!! WHY!?! Why did we ever get married in August?! The HOTTEST month of Summer!!! GAH! YUCK!!!<br />
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I'm trying to do my make up and I am HOTTER THAN HOT!!! I just can't stop sweating!!! WHY IS IT SO HOT!!!!! :( :( :( It's closing in on 2:30p and we should have left for the temple already. Let me double check my bag for our temple recommends. <br />
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WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE OUR RECOMMENDS?!?!?!? I KNOW I PUT THEM ALL IN MY TEMPLE BAG AND I CANNOT FIND THEM!!! WHAT THE F?!??! Are you friggin' kidding me?!?1?!?!? I'm tearing everything apart!! My purse! NOPE. Our dresser. NOPE!! 10 minutes later, after my blood pressure went thru the room, Levi walked in from the truck holding them. Oh yeah.....I forgot I put them in the glove compartment after his endowment. WHAT THE HECK?!?!? Seriously!! I DID NOT need this today!!! WHY DID I DO THAT??!? AAARGGGGGUGH!!!!!!<br />
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My finger nails aren't painted. Oh how I wish I would have gotten that dang manicure!!! But I didn't have time! I just need a good 5 minutes and I can get it done! Levi is trying to convince me that we need to get in the truck because we need to leave and get gas on the way. I am now painting my nails as we drive! YES, AS WE DRIVE I AM PAINTING MY NAILS!!! How did I spread myself so thin to not do my finger nails!!! UGH!!! I am attempting to paint my nails as he drives... I've NEVER done this before and it is nearly impossible to do. I'm getting it on the skin around my nails and I am crying. Seriously, I'm crying because I wanted my hands to look pretty today. Plus, I just needed 5 minutes of stillness to get this done. I'm stressing hardcore as we're connecting onto the 52 West, Levi's trying to console me and I just want him to pull off the rode for 5 whole minutes. THANK GOODNESS for quick dry polish, but it's too late....it's on the sides of my skin and with the max AC, the nail polish is clumping on my nails because it's drying faster than I can apply it. I'm so mad. I'm mad at Levi because he rushed me. I'm mad that I didn't give myself more time. I'm mad that I didn't do this before falling asleep at 4am this morning. I'm mad I didn't just do my pedicure on Monday when I went to get my eyebrows waxed. I'm mad that the time we took look for our recommends, I could have been painting my nails!!! I'm just so mad!! <br />
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My nephew's now beaten us to the temple and we still had about 10 minutes before we'd reach there!! UGH....my poor nails look terrible and I'm trying to be ok with all of this and calm...most of all CALM for my Levi. How did time fly by so quickly?! YAY! We're closing in on 5 North! We're almost there!!!!<br />
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<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-578095765726435562017-08-23T17:37:00.000-07:002017-08-23T17:37:06.832-07:00August in Rewind: Wednesday, August 2<i>{I'd like to just take a moment to rewind back to the beginning of the month, when life was just a bit different and I want to record my thoughts & feelings from those days.}</i><br />
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Wednesday, August 2:<br />
I took today off, as did Levi. Things on today's to do list:<br />
-Pick up the cake from work [Thank you Krissa!]<br />
-Pick up Baby's Breath {Thankful I placed an order for 2 bunches!}<br />
-Make it down to my sister's to receive tables & chairs!<br />
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Other than that, we'll have to pick up the table clothes from Lei and later tonight, I'll need to cut the butterfly confetti for the tables & bake cookies...oh yeah and dye my hair as I've been wanting to do for the last several days! Ugh... I can't have grey hairs on my special day! "Why butterflies?" you may ask? Butterflies have a special meaning to Levi, which always makes him think of his Mom who loved butterflies.<br />
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It's been miserably hot and exceptionally sticky & humid. UGH, the humidity!!! Our AC has been running 24/7! Levi's been gaming quite a bit and I'm glad he's home today to help me buy the last minute stuff I need from Hobby Lobby & WalMart, for cookies & decorations.<br />
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I stopped by work to pick up the naked German Chocolate Cake from Krissa. Whoa....it looks pretty naked & way different than the typical frosted cake. Knowing her stuff, I know this is going to be good!<br />
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Levi, in his infinite patience, is driving us around town this afternoon. We found the flower place and I just want to buy all the flowers here! I loved walking out of the flower shop with my 2 bunches of Baby's Breath. There's something so pretty about its simplicity. I think they're going to look so pretty in the mason jars! I cannot wait!<br />
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We pulled up to my sister's and there's my nephew Slim, grilling chicken on an electric grill. My niece, Novee is bumbling around behind him talking about his Google Cardboard (or something similar to that) I walk in and hang the white table clothes on the door frame. Man, they were heavy and oh so white! AHHH!!!! I just can't believe it....we're getting closer to our party!! Wow we have a lot of stuff to bring into my sister's place for tomorrow.<br />
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Can I just say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE having family dinners outside. There is just something so wonderful and beautiful about having the sky as your ceiling to your family dinner. I love it so much. Oh how I wish I could have my middle 2 nephews join us for this family dinner. It was such a delightful evening and for some reason I was in a very good mood. Levi was teasing me by saying I was being "Jokey!" Oh too funny. It was like rapid fire with the jokes. I was in the best mood. Less than 24 hours to our anniversary/sealing party! I just couldn't wait!<br />
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I'm thankful for my niece who was so nice to help me out with making sure the tables would be all set and decorated by the time we return from the temple. <br />
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Twinkle lights! Does it get any better than this, on a Summer evening?! I wanted to spend more time with my nephew & his wife since I knew that I wouldn't get to interact with them much the next day and then soon enough we'd be off on our second honeymoon. <br />
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I baked 16 dozen cookies tonight! I finished somewhere around 3am (on Thursday 8/3) Levi stayed up as late as he could to do "quality control" as he promised. I made 8 dozen chocolate toffee cookies & white chocolate, mac & coconut cookies for our party. I just wanted to make something by my own hand for our family and friends. I just felt like homemade cookies would be a special touch from me. Man.....there were a lot of cookies! Oh my weakness for fresh homemade cookies! <br />
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I was able to dye my hair and the dang gloves tore and the web between my index & thumb were dark red! AHHH!!!! Thank goodness for a pumice stone....<br />
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Anyways, I better get to sleep! No need for bags under my eyes! ONE MORE SLEEP til the big day!!*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-33354871094516059602017-08-23T00:24:00.001-07:002017-08-23T00:25:56.633-07:00August in Rewind: Tuesday, August 1.<i>I'd like to just take a moment to rewind back to the beginning of the month, when life was just a bit different and I want to record my thoughts & feelings from those days.</i><br />
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Tuesday, August 1:<br />
I went to work today. I called in sick yesterday because I was feeling a bit stressed and needed to slow down a bit. Plus it was nice to get some stuff down towards Thursday's big day. I was having a hard time focusing on work today. I felt like I needed to make lists on top of lists and double check all lists so that everything was in place. <br />
During my lunch today, I had to run to the temple's Distribution Center for stuff. Can I just say how beautiful our temple is here in San Diego?<br />
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Being there in the middle of the day almost exactly 48 hours before our sealing was just so lovely. I probably saw about 3 other people on the temple grounds and I just couldn't help but smile so big because in 48 hours I would be entering the temple to be sealed to my sweetheart. I had to take a photo of my time there today because the temple was just so exquisite and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest with excitement.<br />
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<br />*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-2485522467190198732017-08-15T00:42:00.001-07:002017-08-15T00:42:56.370-07:0011 sleeps.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqICx8WOawSmYhnJb7XIBO3whC9j3aicTUfM8Gl77ZWtv2bjtTyKD2J61lD-AMKgSId712a8VVSoqJyCI5yoI6hFC8ZwqM9tBUELURpfcevagxmkiIfj6sC7dPHW5UP3fdK6DCRhv-swUd/s640/blogger-image-980318654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqICx8WOawSmYhnJb7XIBO3whC9j3aicTUfM8Gl77ZWtv2bjtTyKD2J61lD-AMKgSId712a8VVSoqJyCI5yoI6hFC8ZwqM9tBUELURpfcevagxmkiIfj6sC7dPHW5UP3fdK6DCRhv-swUd/s640/blogger-image-980318654.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Sometimes, I wish I could go back to this night, 11 days ago. It was a wonderful, splendid evening. We were a bit crowded in my sister's backyard which made it even more cozy and intimate. I loved having so many loved ones in one space.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmWoNeJsflRjBgPnxPefThXuD2JtJF6WfX72UmF3XdqWSMw6UJ5Hhjxb5jAGyq6mDlm55ytMOndJsST9DK32ZOghb7eHfPJl97ZP0HlI8zhFpxuSQSY9wfhxJ6KIeCLCaHc9p-BlhbCTC/s640/blogger-image-1577836158.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmWoNeJsflRjBgPnxPefThXuD2JtJF6WfX72UmF3XdqWSMw6UJ5Hhjxb5jAGyq6mDlm55ytMOndJsST9DK32ZOghb7eHfPJl97ZP0HlI8zhFpxuSQSY9wfhxJ6KIeCLCaHc9p-BlhbCTC/s640/blogger-image-1577836158.jpg"></a></div> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It was simple but it had good music and good food with great people, which is all I wanted. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh85pWx8br3RcsjHXnxtrdB-mzslK_ZfO46E6wOhf4PdUxwAvbNenNlVI8zeS7-Vo77Kv32ScWzscO-q8t13muI6XewWygHSJxfo9mHD1OBu3VY3MgGDnI0_Di-q11U62sgHpE6P0AtDlcP/s640/blogger-image--907941481.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh85pWx8br3RcsjHXnxtrdB-mzslK_ZfO46E6wOhf4PdUxwAvbNenNlVI8zeS7-Vo77Kv32ScWzscO-q8t13muI6XewWygHSJxfo9mHD1OBu3VY3MgGDnI0_Di-q11U62sgHpE6P0AtDlcP/s640/blogger-image--907941481.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I love summer night dinner parties. But I loved this summer night dinner party the best.</div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div>*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-45728196299045916022017-08-10T03:23:00.001-07:002017-08-10T03:23:41.324-07:00The ride home tonight.On the way home tonight, from visiting with my sister and niece, I broke down crying. I didn't cry much today and thought it was successful that I only cried once until the ride home.<div>It's still hard for me to drive through IB without thinking of where I used to live with them about 4 years ago and where they lived up until last year. It made me miss them as we passed that neighborhood and it made me think of my Dad. Slowly the water works started to happen. A few freeway exits later, I was full on sobbing. I told Levi that I don't think my heart will ever fully heal from this. I think my heart will forever feel like a chunk is missing. Some say that time heals wounds but I just don't feel like all the time in the world will heal this. It's only been about 1.5 days and it already feels like a very long time. I'm only 36 years old and I've got a very long time before I'll see him again. I can't wrap my head around it and my heart can't handle this separation. I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice in return. I hate this. I hate this so much. I try to think of how I dealt with this when my Kuku & Tutu passed away 15 & 14 years ago. I miss hearing their voices. I miss conversing with them. </div><div>I'm selfish because I just want my Dad here. I look at old photos and I wish I could have my Dad stand next to me again. I just want to hear his voice say my name again. </div><div>As we were sharing stories at my sister's tonight, I just couldn't believe I forgot about my time spent with him on Friday (August 4). When I went into his room, after our road trip out to Vegas, he reached for my hand and slowly brought it up to his mouth. He kissed the back of my hand. I honestly don't remember much of my brief moment with him because I was sleep deprived and longing for a nap. </div><div>Part of me wants to kick myself for not spending more time with him that day. The more I think about it, I get angry at myself for all those missed opportunities. Then it makes me sad. It's such a vicious cycle when you're grieving. </div><div>I feel like I've rubbed my face raw from the continuous crying. I just can't imagine this world without my Dad in it. I'm grateful I have an eternity with him. I'm going to need it. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhWNpTLv3mx0xo1gvv3Mr_gKER98dpUzEz4_vJgoDCTmMzM2YTueZ3lUmXUvIldFJJLQluziaubZQiRs6IJUQeMjsbKW3ljnT5QZQDf7EmuUwrABzc-mbvTGseNAGLFFUAgn1P7D-IBOdY/s640/blogger-image-1596297989.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhWNpTLv3mx0xo1gvv3Mr_gKER98dpUzEz4_vJgoDCTmMzM2YTueZ3lUmXUvIldFJJLQluziaubZQiRs6IJUQeMjsbKW3ljnT5QZQDf7EmuUwrABzc-mbvTGseNAGLFFUAgn1P7D-IBOdY/s640/blogger-image-1596297989.jpg"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div><div><br></div>*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-60368678706978102842017-08-09T03:56:00.001-07:002017-08-09T03:56:17.068-07:00My Dad.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtR5gfPhOg4RSVuFqUbK9FH2weLFDBAX1bj0WCh8_WftahabvceVAXjoByZsvGo6DvHImIyDk_Sjpurn_LYY02lUH36zvkkv9e7dGxWO3abYZbnurEJ9_nc6viv5rSohcpLcY-U0te1Ni/s640/blogger-image--232370743.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtR5gfPhOg4RSVuFqUbK9FH2weLFDBAX1bj0WCh8_WftahabvceVAXjoByZsvGo6DvHImIyDk_Sjpurn_LYY02lUH36zvkkv9e7dGxWO3abYZbnurEJ9_nc6viv5rSohcpLcY-U0te1Ni/s640/blogger-image--232370743.jpg"></a></div>I just want the world to stop with me for a day or two. I just want to look at photos of my Dad. I want to listen to all of the voicemails I have saved on my phone. I want to share all of my most treasured stories and memories of him. I want to hear his voice again. My eyes and face are so red and swollen from crying all day. I'm so sleepy but I can't sleep. The first few seconds upon waking up are blissful because I forget the pain for just a moment. Then it hits me, like a ton of bricks. All over again, it hits me hard like the air is knocked out of me completely. I've sobbed so many times during the day today and I know I am not done crying. I've never experienced heartache and loss like this before. It is the worst pain and emptiness I have ever felt. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I miss my Dad. My heart is trying to understand what my mind knows of the eternal plan of my Heavenly Father. For now, I am selfish and I want to hold my Dad again, right now. I wish I could hear my Dad's voice reassure me at this time. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I just hope that my Dad knows how much I will always love him. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDy9Iqc5lFrxZf-5n72kdNrnU6wwLmLFRU45L_3LYTiBPM7CsKyN1fZYLHr4qSC6Q3moUujjTzufw6XZUUsKcv2HvI7cnWA7stNfYHBa-PGKyX_hjyexvwb6Fubea1HFFqfbVoXXqvYu4f/s640/blogger-image--927315160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDy9Iqc5lFrxZf-5n72kdNrnU6wwLmLFRU45L_3LYTiBPM7CsKyN1fZYLHr4qSC6Q3moUujjTzufw6XZUUsKcv2HvI7cnWA7stNfYHBa-PGKyX_hjyexvwb6Fubea1HFFqfbVoXXqvYu4f/s640/blogger-image--927315160.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9202248898753522140.post-89595442505727617742017-08-01T02:21:00.001-07:002017-08-01T02:21:11.724-07:003 Sleeps.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriHx9OJI8iThGso6y0foRzdtG5_wTtyaPvWBa1vYX16vLOYdB4pZefX8EaCBtpGMrmkFJoxVBtc6lEwlEFAoSsBRUA5rjgzdW943wWLgQvT6Rfo1xdjCuipVyyhHPhHlMnvvPf9qmb_d0/s640/blogger-image-554735203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriHx9OJI8iThGso6y0foRzdtG5_wTtyaPvWBa1vYX16vLOYdB4pZefX8EaCBtpGMrmkFJoxVBtc6lEwlEFAoSsBRUA5rjgzdW943wWLgQvT6Rfo1xdjCuipVyyhHPhHlMnvvPf9qmb_d0/s640/blogger-image-554735203.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">In 2 days, we'll be going to the San Diego LDS temple to be sealed. TWO DAYS!! My mind is constantly thinking of what we need to accomplish within the next two days. Sometimes I have to take a step back to remember what's most important. I don't feel stressed (yet?) because my awesome sister and best friend have been so tremendously helpful with planning and executing our dinner party. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm looking forward to the temple and feeling the spiritual peace and safe shelter from the busyness and craziness of this world. I long to be there again with my sweetheart, to take it all in again. I feel like life slows down a bit there and I seriously crave that. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I don't know if I'd say that I'm nervous for our sealing. Most new experiences would make me extremely nervous but for now, I feel relatively calm. Perhaps I will feel a tinge of sadness because my parents won't be in attendance. I wish with all my heart that they could attend but traveling would take a lot out of them. I owe so much to my parents and for all that they've taught me about the temple. Their love and dedication to temple service was engrained in me while I was a child and through my teenage years. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Most of all, I owe it to my sweetheart. Embracing this gospel and being baptized into this Mormon religion & culture has been a tremendous adventure. I appreciate his faith and diligence to help give me eternity with him. I can't think of any better way to celebrate our wedding anniversary than to be sealed for time and all eternity, surrounded by our closest and dearest loved ones. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I just can't believe it, I'm actually going to be sealed in the temple! I thought for sure this blessing wouldn't come until I had passed on. Thank you Levi for loving me so much to do this for us and our future family. I love you sweetheart.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoqtqSOILGwzDVxRXEAGTrxQIXjXLLm2t9AbGcPrxq7JbTTDNNgFJ1lJW3FSTVbr3HZDXb7pLBCulYvCjpnQ7yNkBVUn-Xp2C-QmAjMR77_a8d0HfafCUftCTpF6voHg1NytFwP0fFtAxH/s640/blogger-image--1730939181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoqtqSOILGwzDVxRXEAGTrxQIXjXLLm2t9AbGcPrxq7JbTTDNNgFJ1lJW3FSTVbr3HZDXb7pLBCulYvCjpnQ7yNkBVUn-Xp2C-QmAjMR77_a8d0HfafCUftCTpF6voHg1NytFwP0fFtAxH/s640/blogger-image--1730939181.jpg"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>*ehu.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11948915212424938488noreply@blogger.com