Cousin Lela & Fam!

I really like this picture of some of my Australian/New Zealand relatives.  My seester, nephew, niece and I were lucky to spend the day with them, at Disneyland. My cousin Lela is to my left, in the black & white, while her daughter Anna is on my right and her son Timothy is next to my seester, on the end.  
It's always been a lil confusing that Lela's my cousin because of the age gap but it was so nice spending time with her family.  She and I had the opportunity to talk about a lot of my Dad's relatives back in the south Pacific.  She pulled out her iPad and showed me pics of her siblings, my cousins.  Out of 12 of her siblings, I've only met 3 of them.  It's been so wonderful getting to know more about them and most especially learn a little more about my paternal grandfather, Simione.  He died in 1963 and I never met my grandma Salote who passed in 1997.  She told me that Simione wasn't very tall, but very patient, kind and gentle and had a head full of white hair.  As for grandma Salote, she had a very strong personality and if you didn't listen, you'd get in a lot of trouble.  Have I mentioned that I was named after her? :) She lived to be 104 years old and didn't need any glasses or aid for her old age.  Such a feisty woman and I look forward to meeting her, and grandpa Simione, someday.
It's been such a beautiful blessing to know more and more about my Dad's family.  I hope to meet more of them someday soon!

Happy 98th Birthday Tutu.

Today is my Tutu's ("Grandmother" in Hawaiian) birthday.  Keala Kaaihue Aikau would have been 98 today.  She passed away 10 years ago, this August.  I miss her so very much.
She lived in Mililani, Hawaii and Orem, Utah, during most of my life.  She came with Kuku ("Grandfather" in Hawaiian) to visit about once a year, but it was always so hard to say good-bye.  I would cry uncontrollably every time they had to leave.  I loved having her come visit because she was so nice to me.  Out of her 17 grandchildren, I felt like I knew her the least.  At one point or another, 16 of her grandchildren either lived with her or vice versa (in her later years).  She taught me how to play the card game, "Speed".  When I started to improve, I started to feel bad that I would beat her, so I'd try to ease off. She could tell and would get mad when she caught me not playing to my full potential.  
I miss the feel of her soft, wrinkled skin.  She had this certain scent, but I can vaguely remember now.  I don't know how to describe it, but it was just her. She was small, maybe about 5 feet tall and thin.  She use to have long hair, that she would pin up in a bun.  I marveled at how she was able to pin all that hair up.  She liked to laugh, but she was a rather quiet woman.  It wasn't really Tutu's nature to be loud or the center of attention.  Kuku was more of the disciplinarian between the two of them.  I remember once talking back and I think that was the only time I heard her voice get loud.  After that, I never wanted to hear her raise her voice or have her get mad, because I felt 10x worse!
She was the only grandmother I knew, because my Tongan grandmother/Dad's mom lived in Tonga.  A couple days before Mothers Day 2003, I wanted to call her for the holiday.  I didn't want to call home and suffer the consequences of getting homesick, so I thought calling my Tutu would have been a better idea.  As the holiday approached, I decided it would mean more to call my Mom, since the only other time I'd get to call home was Christmas.  About two months before  I left for my mission, my Kuku passed away.  After his funeral, Tutu came down to San Diego to stay until it was time to take me to the MTC {missionary training center} in Provo, Utah.  It was such a wonderful time having her in our home.  At night, before bed, she would always read.  I still have the Ensign magazine she read during our last week together.  When it was time to go to the MTC, she came along.  The last thing I told her was that I looked forward to coming home so we could go to the temple together and do many Endowment sessions together.  Sadly, half way through my mission and exactly 15 months after Kuku passed, Tutu passed away.  I was grieved that I wouldn't be able to go to the temple with her again, but the experience of her passing gave me something much more.....a testimony of the healing comfort of the Atonement.   That was the best gift that I could have been given.
I miss her so much.  I wish I could have had one last chance to tell her how much I loved her.  I wish I could hear her voice again.  I wish I would have talked to her about Hawaiian names for my future babies, like I wanted to do before my mission but thought it was weird to even be thinking of such a thing. {She was fluent in the Hawaiian language.}  But in the end, it doesn't matter what I didn't get to do before her passing, because I have such sweet memories of her.  I think about her often, most especially when I wear her Turquoise ring that she left for me.  I cherish it.  I know I'll see her again.  I look forward to our sweet reunion, but for now, I'll treasure her memory in my heart.

Mother.

I received a pink Carnation at my parents new ward, for Mothers day. As I was smelling it right now, my Tutu came to mind. Makes me think back to when she would garden at my parents old house. I remember those little mini carnations. Smelling my pink carnation brought her back to life for me.  Oh I miss her so. 9 years ago, I wish I had called her on Mothers day, when I was on my mish.  I even asked my Mission President if that would be ok that I call her instead of my Mom.  I didn't want to get homesick and I knew that my twice a year phone call home would totally surprise her. I wish I did call her, that would have been the last time I spoke with her. I can't believe it's almost been 9 years since she passed away.  Time surely flies. 


I've been thinking a lot about Motherhood and being a mother, and all things related.  


I'm grateful for those women in my life who are wonderful examples of motherhood.  My sister gave a wonderful talk on motherhood, yesterday at church. I think she is a shining example of the kind of mother I hope to be, someday.  She is kind, loving, funny, very intelligent, personable and all around awesome.  I'm thankful to have Mama McK as well.  She couldn't have come into my life at a more perfect time.  She was a missionary here in SD about two years ago, which she also happened to be the mom of two of my friends.  She loves me unconditionally, gives me an earful when needed and has an empathetic heart at all times.  I love her dearly.   
I'm blessed with so many friends who are amazing moms to their young children. I listen to their experiences and watch them fulfill their roles with a loving heart.  Their children are blessed beyond measure to have the mothers that they do.  
As for my own mom, I've learned to perfect the art of civility and patience. We haven't had the best relationship in the last couple years.  It's been very difficult.  I've learned a lot more of what type of mom I hope to be someday.  We'll see.....  

Two Wedding Requests.....

Yesterday, I mentioned a lil about Mariachis.  I found some history behind them and wanted to share why I love them as much as I do.

*Mariachis often help celebrate the great moments in the lives of the Mexican people. With the serenata (serenade), the Mariachi participates in the rite of courtship. In a society where the young members of opposite sexes were kept apart, the serenata was a means of communication by which a young man could send a message of love to the woman of his heart. In many areas of Mexico, it is not unusual to be awakened by the sound of Las Mañ anitas, the traditional song for saints days, or birthdays. The Mariachi is usually positioned strategically on the street beneath the window of the festejada, but the sound of its music echoes through the whole neighborhood.
I grew up in a neighborhood where it wasn't uncommon to hear a mariachi, late on a Saturday evening. Once, a mariachi came to our house on accident, but it was such a sweet delight to hear their beautiful music.  I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a mariachi serenade me. It's such a beautiful reflection of love.   I hope to have one perform at my wedding, someday....

Speaking of weddings, if I only received one gift, please let it be this:

Right before my mission, at my grandfather's funeral, there was a photograph of my grandparents, riding a tandem bike together.  It was such a sweet picture that I captured in my heart. They looked so happy and in love.  My grandfather was in the front and my grandmother was peeking around him, with one of her big grins. I've never forgotten that photo and hope I can find it from one of my cousins so I can have a copy.  Since I laid my eyes on that photo, I wanted a tandem bike for my future husband and myself.  My grandparents looked so wonderfully happy in life and I hope to create that, within my own marriage, some day...perched atop a tandem bike.
Also, I had a missionary companion that would always sing, this song while we tracted: 

It continued to remind me of my grandparents' picture.  So nothing would please me more and make me feel more connected to my grandparents, than a lovely lil bicycle built for two.

Kuku & Tutu Aikau ♥

In honor of Dia de los Muertos....

Today is Dia de los Muertos. Before, I use to think it was weird because I thought it was a day to celebrate the dead.  It is exactly that, but I've come to see it as more than just thinking of the dead. It's thinking of those loved ones who have passed away. I like to think of it as cherishing the life they lived and the love we have for them.  Today I remember my Kuku & Tutu, my maternal grandfather & grandmother.  My Kuku passed away two months before my mission (2002).  He was a huge advocate of missionary work. Oft times I felt his presence with me on my mission. My Tutu passed away exactly 15 months after him (2003).  I was on my mission and it was one of the most difficult experiences I had to face alone. I am grateful for my testimony of the Atonement, which stemmed from that experience.
I miss my Kuku and Tutu.  They are the only grandparents I ever knew. (My paternal grandfather died long before I was born.  As for my paternal grandmother, she lived in Tonga. I only spoke to her once, since she didn't know English and I didn't speak Tongan.) I am grateful for their support in helping me learn the organ and giving me my violin.  I knew and felt of their love for me.  I wish I had a chance to know them, as an adult... to have them meet my [future] spouse and hold my children.  I look forward to the day I get to see them again. I love them with all of my heart ♥.