Band aid.

I feel like I just ripped off a band aid, which took off a couple layers of skin.
Ugh, I feel terrible.
I told Logan that I just didn't think that things would work out between he and I.  I feel awful because he was really hoping that we'd be spending more time together, and I just stomped out all those hopes.  I just couldn't do it, I was too bored with him.  As nice as he was, I just couldn't see myself spending more time with him.
There were too many things about him that resembled my ex.  Even as I was telling Logan that we were too different, it felt like I was dumping my ex, all over again.  When I did that to Jake, it felt like I had crushed all his hopes and ran his heart through a meat grinder.  However, after things ended with Jake, I felt like I had wasted time with him, at least 3 years of my life.  It felt like a waste because when I looked back, I saw how bored I was and should never have let it go on as long as it did.  So when I started getting bored with Logan, it felt like the red flags were popping up, hitting me in the face.

So in answer to my previous post's question... "Which is easier, to dump or be dumped?"

I'd go with, "be dumped".  

Hurting someone's heart (or hopes) is never easy.  

:(

Which is easier?

To dump or be dumped?

Uuuuuugggghhhhhh. I texted Logan to tell him that tomorrow wouldn't work out and left it at that.  3 hours later (as in 5 minutes ago) he texted back...

"Ehu, what is going on? What is happening? Did I do something wrong?"

 ...and he just called, but I let it go to voicemail.  

Even though he was on vacation up north, a phone call would have been nice.....especially if he really wanted to keep things going between us.  I had to initiate the text messages.  I lost interest during the week he was gone.  Was I asking too much? Maybe I was, but in the end, he's too old for me.  Age is a number, but I mean he just felt too old.  For crying out loud, he doesn't even know who Jack Johnson or Dave Matthews Band is.  I can't date someone that I can't relate to or get bored with.  It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

Now, if only I knew how to tell him, nicely, that I'm not interested. Of course I'm gonna stick with the truth, but I just don't want to hurt him.  Ugh......  

So much for the whole, "NO GUYS IN MAY" goal....

I went on a {first} date tonight. Oh man, I had a terrific time!  I couldn't stop smiling and laughing.  We went to Island Prime and the view was just so spectacular! It was right on the waterfront, and I faced the Coronado bridge and Downtown San Diego. LOVED IT!!!  "Swiss" was oh so funny!!! Seriously, I had a marvelous time! My food was superb and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was nervous at first, but it was so easy to relax and be myself with him.  Afterwards, we walked around Harbor Island and talked for a very long time. I just couldn't stop laughing. Plus, I really like his Swiss accent. It's almost like a Minnesota/Canadian accent.  Seriously, such a fun & delicious night!

I talked with Iam today at church. SWOOOOOOOOOOOOON!! Seriously, I think he is adorably HOT!  We were talking about our upcoming Softball league season.  I just love love love watching him talk.  His face scrunches up in the oddest and cutest ways! We talked for a bit and I just grew anxiously excited for Tuesday night's team meeting at Phil's BBQ.  Man oh man, I cannot wait til I get to see him almost all the time! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! He's so damn cute and his body is just rockin'!! My gosh, he's very athletic, about 6'2, brown hair, hazelish eyes (I think? I was a lil too nervous to remember exactly what they looked like today) and a slammin' body! HOT!  

Ok, I need a cold shower.  G'nite.  

Oh Thursday, I love you!

My Thurday started off with a morning phone call from this guy I've been talking to. [It's nothing serious so he doesn't get a nickname yet]  Oh he makes me smile. 
Around noon I had lunch with Mr. Red.  As always, it was a very lovely chance to be friends with him in real life ("real life", that's what I call spending time with someone "in person"), I've truly missed just being able to talk and laugh with him.  It was very nice.  Now that he's busy with his girlfriend and her kids, times like that will be few and far between.  
I was able to find the Mason jars that I've been searching high and low for! I was able to fill them with all my legumes! YUM! Looks awesome! Also did some "Thrifting" in the afternoon--so much fun! So many great treasures! Found two chairs for the kitchen for $15 (for both)--total score! 
Last night, I went to play Volleyball with my ol' YSA ward.  Oh I've missed them all so much! I love all my ol' friends so dearly! It was just a great ending to a terrific day! I love when Thursdays shape up to be the best days ever! Love it!

HEY MAY!

*Here's a lil video of my bike ride with Liz.  It was a great ride to Coronado, but on the way back, we were biking into the wind--which makes it very tiring and difficult.  So yes, we're out of breath, but trying to laugh and have a good time!  Can I just say how HARD it is to bike with one hand, let alone trying to take pictures and record a video!  And in case you never knew, biking and laughing is VERY hard to do as well! Makes for a very wobbly ride.

My sister made the BOMB biscuits on Sunday. Yep, just like the ones they make at Red Lobster. Oh man, they were DELICIOUS!!  I think I ate a dozen......or very close to it.  I'm starting to love Sunday/family dinners again.  For a very long time they were hard, but now, due to the SCRUMPTIOUS food we've been having, it makes it so enjoyable. 

*I met up with Freshman15, the other night.  Well, it was fun, but I think it just reaffirms my desire to take a break from guys & dating.  He was way cute, but, we want two very different things right now.  Besides, I'm going to be VERY busy because...

*I'll be moving this week.  It won't be far, at all. {plus side, I'll only be 2.2 miles from the beach! AWESOME!!}  But I'm just tired of moving.  I never had to do it before my mission, then in the first month of my mission, I did it 4 times.  After my mission, I did it about 4 times within the first 18 months of being back {college}.  Then in Dec. 2010....and now, this week.  I hate packing, as is...so moving, to me, is "PACKING x DEATH".  Ok, maybe not that extreme, but I just can't stand it! Which is difficult because....

*My Meniere's has been pretty bad lately.  Not only has the "whooshing" in my left ear increased, I'm dizzy a lot more.  I just hope it doesn't get worse, to the point of falling because of extreme light headedness.  Just the thought of moving is already mentally tiring and I haven't even started packing. 

*Be positive Ehu.... Change can be good, remember?  

The Friday Catch Up Game.

(This is what you photograph while waiting for your brakes to be fixed.)

*So my date from Tuesday... Uh, it wasn't anything great or grand. If it was, then I would have blogged about it sooner. Dating him would be a waste of time.  I'm not physically attracted to him, the connection I had with him on the phone could not make up the difference.  Ok, even if I TRIED to be attracted to him, the BIGGEST turn off was when he did not walk me to my car.  I went to his place, so he could make some pancakes that I found online.  WORST. THING. I. EVER. PUT. IN. MY. MOUTH.  They were extremely bland and very mushy--it was a very nice gesture and effort.  Since that was all he made, I didn't have anything to mask it.  Afterwards, we talked in his living room listening to 80's music, which I can't stand, and watched a lil of Tosh.0.  [Little sidenote,  he's 51 years old.  Yes, 20 years older than me.  He seemed young, til we actually met....then I realized that he really IS that old.] He tried to lead into kissing but I couldn't.  Poor guy had no game.  I'd blog about how I really felt about him, but I'm trying not to be that heartless.  Anyways, the guy didn't walk me to my car and he lives in a shady part of town, it was dark and my car was about 1/2 block away.  I was pretty pissed.  I mean, seriously, if he was smart or had an ounce of game in him, he would have walked me for one last ditch effort of a kiss.  I mean, that's what other guys have done.   It just made me think of Houston, who always walked me to my car.    All I can say is no wonder why this guy is single.  He needs a wingman or a Hitch. 

*There were 3 birthdays this week. My Mom's and my two very good friends, PajamaPants (Peej) & Eidde!

*Peej (L) is one of my dearest friends. We met on the Mish....in Philadelphia.  I once had a crush on him, we talked about it (& there wasn't any type of weird awkwardness! Thank goodness!) and now we're the best of friends. I love him dearly and cherish every moment I get to spend with him. He's extremely funny & very kind!  I ALWAYS have the best of times with him!!  He has the most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard {check it out here!}.  I'm so eternally grateful that Heavenly Father brought our paths together.  Who knew that when we met in October 2002, that we would end up as friends, after the mish. Lucky for us, we both happened to be from the San Diego area.  I'm so glad that we can continue to love and support each other in our lives.  I hope that we're friends for the rest of our lives.  I know my life wouldn't be complete without him.

*Eidde (R) is one of my oldest friends.  He moved into the house next to Liz when he was 5 and we were 9....we've been friends ever since!  He's been like the annoying lil brother I never had, but he's also been a true confidant.  Honestly, I have no idea how we're still friends?! I've played some of the worst pranks on him, growing up.  Poor guy would ALWAYS fall asleep whenever we hung out at Liz's house.  I would always paint his finger &/or toe nails....or put make-up on him.....or slip flowers in his hands that were clutched on his chest to make it look like he was dead, then take photos of it..........or hide his shoes, after falling asleep at the movies, then leave him as the last person in the theatre til the security guard woke him up........or.... well, I better not name the rest or else he might never return my phone calls.  I love Eidde, I truly do. I miss the fact that we hardly see each other these days, but that'll never change the way I feel about him.  He continues to help me be more open minded and I'm grateful we have such love & respect for each other. Eidde, I love you.

*I'll blog more about my Mom's birthday later....gotta upload some pics.

*Dating & guys......  I think I'm gonna lay low for a while.  It's just a frustrating game. Yes, game.  There's stupid rules to it and ALL of it is just confusing.   I think for the month of May, I'm just not even going to focus on guys.  I don't care if the hottest, funniest, wealthiest, smartest, most spiritual & religious single & available man sits down next to me at church or at the movies or at a park..... I'm not biting. I'm just frustratingly done right now. 

*And with that said, it's beautiful out....I think I wanna go ride Big Blu (that's the official name of my bike now.)  Happy Friday!

Facebook Friday, I guess?

I'm pretty stoked today, not gonna lie.....

*Today is my very dearest best friend, StephyPooh's birthday!! She's amazing, she really is!  Anyone would be so lucky to know her and have her as a friend! I feel so blessed.

*I started a group on Facebook, "Mormon Battalion Photos!". I've always wanted to see a collection of these photos:

I think they're just so funny and all around fun to see. I'd also like to think of it as a small way of doing missionary work.  Heaven knows I need to step up my game, in that arena!  Check it out! Join! Contribute!

*Then I saw on FB that my friend Nadia's husband, Shawn, just gradu,ated with his Masters degree! This guy is pretty phenomenal and together, they're pretty awesome! Some of my most favorite people! I'm stoked for him!

*Tomorrow evening, my friend Ang is celebrating her 25th birthday! She's a fun girl that just so happens to make some VERY delicious Mexican food! I'm excited for a very fun time!

*I'm also suppose to go on a date tomorrow night............   So there's this guy that I happened to go to Jr.High with [he was two years ahead of me].   I never knew him in school, but always remembered his freshmen photo, because I thought he was pretty dang cute.  Even back then, I was a sucker for cute white boys with blonde hair! Plus, look at those dimples! Adorable, right?!  It's like we've been in the same circles, just never knew it.  When I worked for an attorney service here in town, the law office he works for was one of our biggest clients.  I may have even spoken on the phone with him and never even knew it.   A friend on Facebook invited me to our alma mater's Spring musical. So random, but thought it'd be cool to support the local arts.  I asked Freshman15 if he'd possibly like to go on a date to a play at our ol' high school.  I thought it was a cute idea and he was pretty open to the idea.  Now......if only I could swing both the play & the party!  

*Speakin of dates... two friends (more like acquaintances) want to set me up on a blind date.  A friend of theirs is in his mid-30's, an ER (maybe ICU) nurse, return missionary who has put off dating and marriage to focus on his career until just recently.  Apparently he's tired of being single and wants to change that.  Somehow I came to their minds and they want to set me up on a date with him.  I happened to see what he looks like on one of their Facebook's and he's not really my type.  He's basically like a Peter Priesthood and that's not necessarily my type.  I want someone who's open minded and will be okay with two of my closest friends who are gay.  Also, he's brown.  This brown girl isn't really attracted to brown guys.  {Brown guys either look like a cousin or end up being a cousin----so, no thanks.}  Should I even entertain my friends and go out on a date with this guy?  Clearly what I've been going for hasn't worked....maybe I should try something different? 

*The more I think about church, the more I feel like I should go back to my family ward.  I feel like I can't be as active as I'd like to be.  We'll see how I feel after this Sunday & Monday's FHE. .

 

 

*Bub & his fiancee, Sissy drove back to Utah last night. It was so much fun having both of them here! My heart misses Bub, but I've learned a lot in the last several months.  I haven't always thought the nicest thoughts about his fiancee.  She didn't really give me any reason to, but my overbearing mind and overprotective heart consumed the best of me.  She is a very warm, kind, generous and loving young woman.  She makes my Bub happy beyond a doubt and fills his heart & life with love.  They treat each other with tenderness and respect.  I've learned a lot while watching them and I've been humbled. I couldn't have ever dreamed of someone as (dare I say...) perfect for him, like she is.  I wish them the very best of love & happiness.....Heaven knows they deserve it. 

For the record: Friendship.

I think I need to explain something quick!

This is Mr. Red:



We are ONLY and ever will be only friends.
Yes, I did like him (VERY past tense). 
But that's not the reason we're still friends.  In my last post, I mentioned that I "crave spending time with him."  I do, that's true. 
The reason why I "crave" that time hanging with him is because I can talk to him about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, and NEVER feel judged.....and I have discussed EVERYTHING under the sun with him.  I don't have many friends that I can be so open with, like I am with him and my very best friend, Bugs.  A few friends come close and I'm grateful for them and their friendship.  Them too, do I desire spending time with.

I'm the kind of person that genuinely loves her friends. I miss them when I don't see them or talk with them for long periods of time.  I grew up with 2 best friends living right across the street from me.  I never had to experience losing a friendship due to moving.  To this day, I still live within a one mile radius of Liz & Eidde and talk to them to this day. I love my friends, I tell them that whenever we talk.  If I died tomorrow, I hope my friends know of the love I have for them, the blessing it's been for them to call me a friend and that my life has been enriched because of them. I never like saying goodbye to a friend or a friendship, and avoid it at all costs. 

So about my friendship with Mr. Red.....  I've trusted him with my deepest secrets, my craziest thoughts and my most sensitive feelings.  He knows me as well as my best friend, Bugs and my sister, Bec.  When we're hanging out, we're usually just talking. He is an intelligent individual and I'm always left with the appetite and aspiration to learn.  The fact that his gender happens to be male, sometimes strikes a nerve with the guys I date.  I've learned to not mention Mr.Red to them, anymore than I do about my female friends. 

I can only hope that the guys I date understand that when I say, "We're only friends" that they trust me completely on that fact.  Because if roles were reversed, I would understand and never ask them to stop befriending someone that makes them want to be a better person. 

Gettin' to that place, again...

There's someone new. 

For some crazy reason, he trusts me and likes me. 
I'm scared, but at the same time, I'm not.  Crazy, I know.  I can feel a slight apprehension at times.  Am I overthinking?  I'm pretty infamous for that.  Yeah, I'm overthinking. I need to just step back, enjoy it.  
I definitely want to get to know SJ.  He fascinates me and I love his love for his family.  He describes it with such love and admiration. I thoroughly enjoy his reciprocation and connection.   

Breathe, Ehu, just breathe.... and enjoy the ride.

Closing time...bikes...& scarves!

*I went out with a guy on Saturday. It was pleasantly fun.  We walked along the waterfront, but when it ended up too cold, we went to Starbucks......til the baronista started singing, "Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" It reminded me of, "Friends with Benefits."  Anyways, back to this "Hangout" [not calling it a date], there was an innocent fun to it.  We talked on the beach, and then ended up back in his car.......playing Connect 4 and Air Hockey on his iPhone.  I felt like we were two teenagers, just hanging out.

*Finding a bike is HAAAARD!!! I really really really want a bike!! 

*One of my best friends "liked" a photo on Facebook, which was a pic of scarves. It inspired me.  And then I made 3 of them! (the 3rd wouldn't photograph well, unless I was wearing it. 

 I've been seeing these types of scarves around lately and been wanting to make them. I LOVE the orange one, since the material is a true jersey cotton. As for the striped scarf, the material is a lil funny, so it doesn't curl up well.  Oh well, I'll try again. 

Stood Up.

So I THOUGHT today was gonna be a good day....

...and then I got stood up for my date with Berkeley, tonight.

Yeah, didn't think that was going to happen since he was the one complaining last Friday night about being stood up for his date that night.  

WOW. 

I'd be more mad or pissed, but honestly, I stopped getting my hopes up about dates and whatnot.  

Besides, I've been trying to be 'less invested' with certain friendships and relationships.

Tonight's events don't really make me want to try to ask Oeste out again.  

Really, do I want to be shot down again? 

A heart can only handle so much.  

This

is

why

I

cannot

stand

dating

!!!

All the B.S. games and drama.  

Why can't it just be easy, like;

I like you.

Do you like me?

Ok, let's do something about it.

Done!

Dear God, 

I hope I don't die 

single...

or alone,

or a virgin. 

Amen.

ok, I take that back.... I am pissed. Who can't pick up a damn phone and call....or hell, at least drop a text. 

Ras, the friend.

Hmph....my friend, Ras....

I like him and I've told him how I feel about him.  

The GREAT and wonderful thing is that he is still the same wonderful friend.  

It didn't change anything significantly, which is a good/bad thing. 

We had lunch last Tuesday.  That was fun and just chill.  I saw him a couple more times during the week and we hung out last night.  I was home, he was home....so I invited him over.  We ended up watching "Forever Strong". He was quiet. (I forget that some people are actually quiet when they watch a movie)

I saw him today, we talked and hung out for a bit together.  We texted for a while tonight, in between our naps.  I might see him tomorrow.  We talked about me cutting his hair. If not, I'll probably see him couple more times this week before Saturday. I'm still going out with him on "Ehu Eve".  I'd really like to. He's still my dear friend, whether or not anything was even to happen.  I do tend to get a few butterflies in my stomach right before I see him, but when I do, I wonder why I got so nervous.  I mean, he's just my friend.

So why am I so concerned....?

I guess, at the heart of it all, I like him.  I like the fact that we're still friends and we can still tease & frustrate each other.  It's as if nothing has REALLY changed. And I'm kinda glad.

Realization & Hesitation.

This has been on repeat the last couple of days....

I've had a lot on my mind lately.  Sometimes, TOO much.  Poor Hermanita's ending up with a 5 page letter because I've kinda unloaded it all on her.  I mees her so much! I mees my bestest friend who lives out east.  I'm so grateful for my dear friends.  Seriously, I know I say that all the time, but I mean it every single time. I've got the greatest friends!
So I told him.  It went ...ok. I mean, nothing GREAT came of it and we're still friends so I guess that's a good sign, right?  We still act the same way as before and that's always a plus...I think?
Yesterday, I asked several friends why do we love deeply and allow ourselves to be vulnerable? I got the same 2 responses:
1. Because we hope to receive the same love in return.
2. Because Christ did it, so should we.
It's scary sharing your feelings sometimes. Usually it can go in two directions--either REALLY good or REALLY bad.  The last couple times this has happened, I've landed right in the middle.  At that point, I almost wish I never said anything because nothing good REALLY came of it.  


So I Googled, "To love deeply" and this was one of the results:
One of my very favorite reflections from Henri Nouwen is “Love Deeply,” found in his book “The Inner Voice of Love.” This beautiful meditation reminds me to continue to love and to be vulnerable enough to receive love, even if it means rising rejection and hurt, even as I feel an emptiness in my soul, a void in my heart, which makes me want to build barriers to keep everyone out. Here it is:

Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply.
You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.
The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.
Those you have deeply loved become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who are alive around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/2009/01/henri-nouwen-love-deeply.html#ixzz1W7jAbjLr

I don't know want to do it.  I don't think I can.  Not anymore.  I'm done putting my heart out there and getting nothing in return.  It's scary and I don't like suffering that hurt and emptiness.  I just can't do it anymore.  I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore.  My poor heart, it doesn't deserve this.  I rather be guarded from now on.  My true self and tender feelings saved for a very select few, or maybe just no one at all.  
I wish I could take back this week. Actually, I wish I could take back the last couple weeks when I allowed myself to see otherwise and read too much into things.  The stupid thing, is that I asked him out on a date for my birthday weekend, to one of my favorite dessert spots.  Honestly, that's all I wanted to do for my birthday.  Now, I'm not so sure.  I think I'm just going to cancel with him.  Why get my hopes up for something that'll end up just being a disappointment.  Oh well, another birthday down the drain.... what else is new?   I don't know why I continue celebrating my birthday, in one way or another they just suck.  Especially this year, with the 10th anniversary of the September 11 attacks.    


Hmph... oh well.  I tried.  I failed.  I'm done.

Cookies, Charades & Coronado!

Some of my favorite photos from Saturday night!

Had a GREAT time! And I think my friends may have, as well! It was a very rousing game of Charades! (as well as SHAKE FACE!) The cookies & strawberries were delicious! And we just happen to have fireworks that night!

All in all, I loved it!!

:)

You know you're draggin' when....

...someone says, "You're tired. You can tell in your voice."

Dang, that's pretty bad.

Oh yeah, and here's an "interesting" Q&A I had with a guy this week:

Me: "What's your favorite restaurant?"

Him: "Jack in a Box. Oh wait, Carl's Jr. Well actually both!"

Me: "Oh. Ok."

....
Me: "What cologne do you like to wear?"

Him: "Axe."

On what planet is Jack in a Box a restaurant and Axe is a cologne?! 

Pues.

Recap &....being the "Friends Zone" girl.

-Went out to brunch with Montana and then hung at the beach for a couple hours. It was very relaxing. Great way to spend a Saturday!! We didn't get to spend as much time together as we wanted to, because we both got little sleep the night before. Oh well.... it was still fun.

-I watched 2 talks from General Conference. I'm glad I listened to those two talks. I love Elder Holland & Pres. Monson. I'm listening to some talks as I type this. I can't wait for Conference issue of the Ensign to come out. Although I'm bummed I didn't get to listen to the choir. I do love the music of General Conference. I [heart] LDS.org.

-I can't believe finals are this week. I'm glad....and a lil nervous.

-Went to lunch with my ol' friend Giovanni. Good guy. I'm glad I have such great guy friends. I'm not excited over the fact that I have SO MANY guy friends. Somehow I ALWAYS get thrown into the "Friends Zone" with guys. :( It's a good and bad thing. Sometimes I wonder how that happens. Is it because I have 2 older brothers and 3 nephews that are more like younger brothers to me? Is it because I try not to be so emo and dramatic as some women tend to be? Is it because I try to be laid back, relaxed and use the word "Dude" a lot? Or because I don't look like the typical girly girl my guy friends would want to go out with? Sometimes I wonder that. I mean it's just my daily style. I like to wear slippers, board shorts and hoodies. I don't wear make up every day. I'm more of the relaxed style. No I don't look sloppy and I'm not a "beach bum". Yes I like dressing up from time to time, getting pedicures, wearing make up and all those girly girl things.....but to do it every day, I don't know about that.

Last week, while we were in class, I was sitting with all the guys. I had made a comment and then they realized that I was the only girl in their section. One of my friends said, "Well, I don't think you'd really get along with those girls over there. You're not really like them." What did that mean?? I'm friends with a couple of the girls, but then as I thought about it, I wouldn't really want to hang out with those girls anyways. I don't like talking TOO much about all the girly things. I rather just hang back and joke with the guys instead. Ugh.... this is like a never ending battle. Whatevers....I guess I'll always be "Ehu, the 'Friends Zone' girl". Oh well....

Mmmm Friday.....

I like when Friday night means "Date Night". Not always the biggest fan of first dates...I always get so nervous. It's very seldom when I don't get nervous. I just can't help it.

Hmmm, so I've got a date with BobCat tonight. So far, he seems like a really sweet guy. I totally LOOOOOVE that he's 6'5 and use to play Football in college. I love feeling small :) We're gonna go grab a bite to eat and then go to one of my FAVORITE SD spots. I'm stoked. So far he does a really good job at making me smile....let's see if he keeps that up tonight. ♥

Since last time....

-Well, my song went really well. I was so pleased with it!! The only part I wasn't TOTALLY happy with was the end. It's a song of Christ's time in the Garden of Gethsemane & the Atonement. So by the end, I got emotional--not extremely emotional but I didn't hold some notes as long as I should have. I was a lil nervous, my hands shook, but I'm glad I didn't have more 'vibrato' to my voice. A lot of friends and strangers came up to express their surprise that I could sing and how well I did so. I was even more grateful that my family came to my congregation to hear me, it really meant a lot to me.

-I'm so thankful for friends who would smile when I looked at them, during my song. Man, I am not a naturally born smiler like my BFF StephyPooh, so I need some encouragement with that sometimes. And for those who sent text messages immediate following my number. Ooooh Mr.Red.....

-Sometimes I forget that I'm a BYU student now, which means that I can't hate on BYU anymore. :-/ It's always so fun to do so.

-Tomorrow I'm going to eat FroYo with Cuz in Coronado. He's the cousin of one of my friends, and he happened to attend BYU-Hawaii. He's a cool guy and I wanted to show him around my favorite town, Coronado.

-I'm stoked for Thursday! My friend will be teaching class, so I'm excited to hear him speak!

-And Friday...oh, I can't wait til Friday!! :) THE GODFATHER MARATHON DAY!!

-Saturday, my girls have their first Volleyball game of the season. I'm stoked for them!!

-Oh Sunday, I can't wait to see so many hot guys at church. It pays to be religious sometimes ;)

Friday Night = Date Night

Man.....

I'm going on a first date tonight.

Me = Nervous

I shouldn't be. But I always am.

It always feels like an interview/interrogation....just depending on how nervous I get.

Either way.... I'm nervous.

But "Big J" is a really nice guy, makes me laugh and well, he knows how much I LOOOOOVE pizza, so he invited me out for pizza. :)

I love pizza.

Too bad I don't love first dates as much as pizza....that would come in handy tonight.

Polo + PacoTheMarine = A good way to start a Thursday

Oh Thursday, you treat me so very, VERY well sometimes.....

Hung out with Polo last night/this morning. It was fun. TOO. MUCH. FUN. :) Gosh, I'm such a sucker for blue eyes.

After he left, my friend PacoTheMarine wanted to come by to show me his new BMW convertible. I've gotta say, driving 100+ mph is REAAAALLLLLY fun. Drove around for a while then came back to hang out by the fireplace to talk. Man, he smelled SOOOOOO delicious.

I wish my Thursdays could always be like that....well, with some pizza, of course! :)