the little wonders of beauty.

My organ playing at the funeral went fairly well. It was kinda hard to follow the chorister. I guess I'm only really use to the chorister at my ward. Although I did mess up a lil bit on one of the hymns, I tried my very best and in the end I'm okay with that.

The funeral was really nice and touching. I learned a lot about Sister Brantly. I will miss her so dearly, most especially her presence in Relief Society. She always noticed the beauty in everything and everyone....even when I missed a note or two while playing the prelude music. Everytime I would step away from the piano, she would thank me for playing such beautiful music. She had a way of making you feel like the most beautiful or most talented person. I hope one day I can have a heart of gold like Sister Brantly. I am grateful to have been her friend.

I know this week has been quite trying. Last night, before bed as I was writing in my journal I took time out to count my blessings. It's funny how in the middle of chaos and stress we sometimes miss the little wonders of beauty around us. Yesterday I was blessed to spend some time with my parents. I count my blessings that they're both still alive and married to each other after 46 years. I'm glad I am able to depend on them and know that they've always got my back. I know they only want the best for me and will go to the ends of the earth to see that it happens. I'm grateful that they're patient with me when I'm not even patient with myself. I'm glad they know how to reassure me when at times I question my own skills and abilities. They know when I'm stressing about something or another, they come in and do whatever they can to lift that burden from my shoulders. Heaven knows that I've put many grey hairs on my poor parents heads....but I hope heaven also knows how eternally thankful I am to have them as my parents and dear friends.

T.G.I.F.!!

I'm so happy it's Friday. It's been such a trying week, more like the last 72 hours. I have a lot going on this weekend which has been a lil stressful on my mind. (Which was obvious in my last 2 posts [I had to delete one, it was WAY over the top] ). I'm kinda worried about a funeral I have to play the organ at tomorrow. It's 2 hymns that I've never really played before. I feel like it's really trying my musical talent. I've never played at a funeral before. I'm afraid I'll play the wrong hymns during the pre & postludes. It starts at about 12noon with a little luncheon for the family afterwards. I was asked to make 2 Pineapple upside down cakes--but it's always better when it's warm. So I don't know when to make it exactly.
There's more on my mind, but I'll save it for another day.

I wish I was going along with this guy...

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

AARRGGGG!!!

I'm fed up!

I'm tired of people [aka-certain friends] making me feel guilty because I don't/didn't:
-call them everyday.
-log on to IM 24/7 like they choose to do.
-stay in a stale relationship.
-get ANY sleep on Christmas Eve [2007], thus forcing me to sleep all day on Christmas...and because of that, not calling them to hang out.

*I wish I knew why it is so hard for "friends" to understand that I like my space. Yes, I like to hang out with you or talk to you on the phone or IM...but seriously--every single day? Why do I have to defend myself in wanting my own space??? The more friends bug me and cramp my space, I'll retract more. I hate hate hate defending myself and being made to feel bad about not talking EVERY day. Maybe it's because I pretty much grew up as an only child? I don't know. I mean, sheesh...my best friend Liz has lived across the street from me all of my life--but that doesn't mean we HAVE to see or talk to each other EVERY single day. And yes, my family knows this 'quirk' about me and worries about it when it comes time for me to marry...trust me, I do too at times. But I just wish that these so called "friends" would accept this as one of my quirks and get off my back already.

(check this out...Thanks Tony T)

2 things I wish I could do...(sorta)

I wish I was this coordinated.

and

Nostalgia.

My nephew Sim turned 18 years old yesterday. He's more like a younger brother than nephew since he's closer in age to me than my own brothers. I can't believe it. I still remember it like yesterday when he was born. Where does the time go? At times I feel like his sister, and other times I feel like his Mom....because I just scratch my head and wonder where the time has gone?! He was just learning how to walk in his gray walker yesterday. He was sitting in his ivory high chair eating Gerber cereal yesterday! I was just changing his dirty diaper and getting it everywhere on him at his grandmother's house yesterday! Wasn't I just picking him up at Kindergarten?? Seriously, where does the time go? I wish I could turn back the hands of time and enjoy it all again. I just want to cry and wish that he was that cute little boy with big ears and a flat Tongan nose. Today, while dressed in his tuxedo, I was helping him get ready for prom. As I was brushing his hair, it brought me back to the past 18 years of Sundays when I would help him get ready for church and now I couldn't see the top of his head because he's taller than me. Next month he graduates from high school and next year he'll be going off on his 2 year LDS mission (oh I don't even want to think about that--as if I need the tears to get bigger!). I just can't believe that the cute little boy with big ears and a flat Tongan nose is now an energetic, intelligent, handsome young man.

Kinky!

...Boots, that is.

So I was home today and did a lil channel surfing when I came across this movie. From the title alone, it seems a lil questionable. But then I remembered wanting to see this film from previews a year ago. OH MAN!! I really like this movie!! HELLO--it's about shoes!! How can I not like this movie??

(Quick movie synopsis: It features Charlie Price, who is trying to save the family business and travels to London to get ideas. In a fluke encounter he meets sassy drag queen performer Lola, the alter ego of Simon, and sees the possible market of shoes for male transvestites. With the styling eye of Lola, Charlie leads the traditional shoe factory to design and produce numerous shoes for the catwalk in Milan, Italy.)

I ended up watching the last half with me Mum. It was a lil awkward at first because I didn't know what her reaction would be towards a movie with drag queens. Surprisingly, she was cool with it and liked the shoes!

My favorite quotes---(and there's several throughout the movie):

Charlie: I'd like to measure you for it, go home, make a pair.
Lola: Who gets to keep the boots? A little warning, the answer is, "You do, Lola."
Charlie: You do, Lola.

---------------------

Lauren: Look, you'll have to excuse Charlie. We don't have many transvestites in Northampton.

Lola: I'm not merely a transvestite, sweetheart. I'm also a drag queen. It's a simple equation. A drag queen puts on a frock, looks like Kylie. A transvestite puts on a frock, looks like... Boris Yeltsin in lipstick. There, I said it.

---------------------

Anyways, great movie! Definitely check it out!

an epiphany.

I was at the beach this evening when I came to the realization that I need to find a man who loves the beach, baseball and the gospel more than I do and I'll be happy.

The most horrible/wonderful movie.

Stupid stupid great movie!! Oh man, I'm still so worked up about it. I'm glad I watched it over at Liz's house tonight---I would have been bawling my eyes out if I watched it alone at home. I'm also glad that she was falling asleep and didn't see me wiping my eyes every other second. Oh , I love this movie! I didn't think I'd like it as much because I'm not the biggest Hillary Swank fan...but I love love love it!!

It made me think a lot about my own "Gerry" and how much I miss him. Last September, I had the bulk of responsibility to orchestrate a fiesta for all the young single adult LDS(ages 18-30 y/o) in San Diego county. Oh man was that tremendously overwhelming, to say the least. I had to also cook about 85 lbs. of Pork and somehow turn that into ‘muy delicioso’ Carnitas. Driving over to the fiesta, an hour late, I started to break down from all the stress. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Poor Gerry, he just listened to me splutter the most incoherent words known to man thru Noah’s ark tears. When I finally decided to come up for air he reassured me of all my wonderful qualities, skills and talents.

He’s done that a lot since…even up until the last time I talked to him. Still reassured me of my strengths and my capability of fulfilling my dreams. I’m grateful that I’ve had the blessing of Gerry come into my life and world and in turn make it a more pleasant place for me to enjoy.

Ooooooh Mexico!

I went to Tijuana with Liz today. I think one of the funnest things to do while in TJ is drive. It's CRAZY!! It's fast paced and a lil cutthroat...somehow the high school cheer, "Be, Be Agressive" kept playing over and over in my mind. You know what it honestly feels like? As a kid driving the cars at Disneyland in Autopia and having to stay on that rail---That's driving in America. But driving in TJ is like having no rails or rules (kinda sorta, but not really). I love it!!

It's not often...

...that I wish I were married. :(

Since last Wednesday I've now received 5 wedding invites.

Plus I was just watching HGTV's "My first house" (I think that was the title.). I want a house now...and a husband. UGH!

Stupid June & HGTV.

Thanks a lot Pandora!

I love when Pandora.com plays all my favorite songs in one genre. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!

It's playing "Glory of Love" which brings me back to last Monday.

I miss Jake. Most especially today. I miss him a lot right now and I can't get a hold of him either-UGH. I've been having cramps lately--with the new addition of a tooth ache, ear ache and sore throat. I dislike not feeling up to par. Jake's always been the one to listen to me moan and groan when I'm not feeling well. Last year, when he first moved here, he walked 2 miles to my house to bring me DayQuil, cough drops and chocolate. Ugh, now I'm crying.

I don't know if anyone else is like this...but I relate music to situations/people. Like I can't listen to John Mayer's "Say" anymore because Eddie and I were listening to it over and over right after he broke my camera.

I can't listen to Rob Thomas' "Ever the Same" because during the summer of 2005 when it came out, I was going through a lot of emotional smut with two guys, stressing out about graduating late, trying to find someplace to live in Utah & being broke as a joke! I was longing for one guy while another was treating me like crap. I remember waking up after a really crappy night of crying and that was the first thing I heard. Not good. It was constantly on the radio that summer too. Actually I hate that song, it always brings me back to that morning.

I can't listen to Fergie's "Big Girls don't Cry"--listen to the words, you'll understand.

Thanks a lot Pandora. I guess some songs should just stay locked in a closed box after all.

The Lucky 13 List.

Thirteen things that make me happy.
(in no particular order)

1. When I teach myself a new hymn/song on the piano and can ace it on the organ as well.

2. When airplanes land--here in SD when I return home or any place in Hawaii.

3. Any quality time spent with my family--usually family dinners on Sunday.

4. When I achieve my perfect tan--a nice warm glow and also my slipper tan! LOVE IT!

5. Sitting in the (Celestial room of the) San Diego LDS Temple.

6. Walking out of the gym after a GREAT workout!

7. Giving selfless service to others.

8. Whenever Jacob spoils me...basically, being spoiled in general.

9. When family/friends remember the small things about me. (ie: how to spell my name, my birthday, how I always use 2 straws, they don't curse around me...)

10.A genuine, heartfelt compliment.

11.Receiving a handwritten letter or wedding invite(w/ pic)in the mail. (No not bills)

12.Whenever I can find Pina Colada flavored Slurpee @ 7-11.

13.Playing "Titanic" at the beach.

Nothing important to say.

Was the first person to text you today a boy or a girl?
lol....I haven't had a txt in a week or two. Not too many people have my new cell #

What is one question people always ask you?
"How do you say it again?'--in reference to my first name...and usually my last name as well.

What is the 6th text in your inbox?
"So sorry i got home late last night-- Bugs"

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
wake up.

Where is your cell phone?
right in front of me now.

What CD is currently in your CD player?
I don't have a CD player.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Either, as long as I have my lactose pills...cause if I don't, it's NEITHER!

Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Um no, I haven't really talked to anyone outside of my family this week.

When was the last time you had Starbucks?
Sometime last year w/ Liz.

Can you whistle?
You know it!

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Not really.

Do you get along better with boys or girls?
Hmmm, I've never really thought about this before. Can't really say...depends on the individual.

Do you sleep on your stomach?
I guess? I fall asleep on my back and usually wake up on my stomach.

What are you listening to?
Counting Crows-Paved Paradise on http://www.playlist.com/standalone/29710371

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Adrian, last night at 11:10pm

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Liz--across the street.

What's bothering you right now?
Whether or not I should go back to sleep for an hour and if I should go to Yoga w/ Jen this morning.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Probably 2 months ago when I was meeting a friend for ice cream....not too sure why?

What did you dream about last night?
Don't remember.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
Probably...but I turn the ringer off at night ;)

What gets in the way of your sleeping?
alarm clocks.

Do you know anyone who's married?
no, cause I live under a rock.

What did you do today?
So far, took my nephew to Seminary, then dropped two of them off at school...oh and filled up gas. Came home, woke my niece and did this survey.

What's your favorite number?
Three and Seven

Who and/ or what was the reason you last cried?
Hmm, I think it was Extreme Makeover-Home Edition.

Where are you going to be at 4:00 tomorrow?
Probably home, starting dinner.

Are you jealous of anyone?
I'd say yes...any of my friends w/ degrees (& that actually use them!)---UGH!!

Who was the last person you rode in the car with besides family?
Liz, Saturday night.

Do you have a best friend?
See above answer.

What's one thing you wish your friends knew about you, that you didn't actually have to say aloud? I'm the type of person that needs space. So if we've just got done hanging out a lot or talking every day...then don't expect to hear from me for a week. As trite as it sounds---it's not you, it's me. Don't take it personally, just understand that I need alone time as well.

Wallpaper on your cell phone?
red light streaks.

Where was your default picture taken? I have no idea.

What's the most interesting thing that happened to you today?
I woke up at exactly the time (5:30am) I needed, which is great since my alarm didn't go off. (FYI--I'm on the 2-10 schedule....so in my book, that's pretty amazing!)

What is your current mood?
HUNGRY. I dont know if that's a mood, but man I'm hungry.

Last people you hung out with?
my nephews this morning. But if that doesn't count...my family and cousin's family on Sunday for a bday dinner.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Jake's dark blue North Carolina shirt...that I dont plan on sending back to him. Tough luck Jake ;)

Have you ever had a near death experience?
Hmm, I've had 2 half near death experiences...so does that count as 1 whole one?

Last movie you saw in theaters?
Feb.14 The Bucket List

Last thing you ate?
dinner--Carnitas/Carne asada plate (rice, beans, tortillas) @ home.

Last thing you drank? Red Lemonade

What's the last thing someone said to you?
"I'm going to school now. Bye Ehu"

What color is your hair?
lol...I don't know. It's kinda dark brown/auburn.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
A very wealthy, intelligent, charismatic, funny, honest and kind LDS husband. Does that count?

When is your birthday?
9/11

How do you feel about your hair right now?
I wish it was longer-down past my bra strap.

Where does most of your family live?
Hmm--somewhere close to the Pacific Ocean (ie: SD, Hawaii, Tonga, New Zealand)

What color are your eyes?
chocolate

What are you doing now?
filling this out & still listening to "Paved Paradise..."

What is one question you ask a lot?
"How do you say it again?"--wasn't i just asked this??

Did any of your friends go out with any of your exes?
hmm, no. at least to my knowledge.

Are you mad at someone right now?
nope.

Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
I'd say sunset.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Just a piercing in my ears. In? or On? Whatevers...

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
I'd like to start at 29 :)

When was the last time you threw up?
Ewww, I have no idea. Maybe when I was 20 and had the flu?

Do you curse a lot?
I don't curse...unless you're anal and think that "hell" & "damn" are curse words.

What are you listening to right now?
Ryan Cabrera--True on http://www.playlist.com/standalone/29710371

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
It depends on who I'm talking to.

Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing?
Snowing!! YAAAAAAAAAY FUN! (no sarcasm, really)

What famous person do you look like?
Halle Berry-hands down (lots of sarcasm, really)

What's your favorite holiday?
4th of July!!

Do you crack your knuckles?
Sometimes.

Do you give special ringtones to certain people?
Um, just my family so I know not to ignore those calls :)

Donde es...?

So I haven't really been online lately. I've been pretty busy, in which I'm grateful for. I've been doing a lot of "life" thinking. Lots of thoughts have flooded my mind as to where I want my life to be headed. All good things, of course. I've only really told two close friends because I don't like a lot of people raining on my parade or questioning my plans.
I also haven't really blogged much because I have no accompanying pictures to go w/ my blogs. After my best friend broke my camera last week, in which he feels he doesn’t need to replace, I’ve been pretty bummed. I really liked that camera and now I‘m camera-less. I took it everywhere with me and I really don’t like having to go ‘electronics’ shopping---UGH!! Pixels, Bytes….AHHHH!!! I don’t like dealin’ with electronics. I don’t know which I’m more bummed about: not having a camera or a best friend that I grew up with who’s now so different from me not feeling that he needs to replace it. I guess you could say that part of my “life” thinking has been whether or not I still want this friend in my life.
I’ve always prided myself as being someone who makes and keeps friends for as long as possible. However, I feel differently now. I’ve had this friend since I was 9 years old. I think we’ve grown apart and are way too different. Really, I think that if we were to meet today, I doubt I’d ever call him up to hang out & vice versa. Occasionally, even childhood friendships end when adulthood steps in…people grow up and grow apart sometimes. It happens. As much as I may possibly miss this friend, I think it’s for the best.

Sometimes you’ve got to realize that when it’s over-it’s over.

Hmph?!

The June wedding invites have now begun....
I don't know how I feel about the title "Miss". I feel as if I'm 16 years old reading "Seventeen" magazine.

I almost feel as if it's a snub in the face that this certain girl's getting married and I'm still single.

Miss? Really, me, Miss? Miss Ehulani L____. It feels so juvenile.

I think I prefer being a "Ms.", I feel more mature, like a woman.

Isn't there an etiquette rule when a woman shouldn't be called "Miss" anymore?

HMPH!

Memory Monday.

Last night I watched “Karate Kid 2”. I know I know, funky movie, but it was the first one I ever watched at a drive-in with my family…so it brings back a lot of memories. Anyway, there’s a song on it that I LOVE! “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera. It’s a sappy love song, but I’m a sap! So bite me! I was whistling it today and it reminded me of my favorite Hawaii memory when I went to visit (my then boyfriend) Jake. On my third day there we woke up early (ok, I woke up early only to make us late from having to iron a lot of stuff) and headed up north to La’ie. It was a pretty drive, and he bought me my FAVORITE breakfast (Jack in a Box’s Sausage Croissant) to eat on the way to the La’ie LDS Temple.
It was my very first time ever going inside the La’ie Temple. It’s a very special place to my family and I because my parents were married there and also my maternal grandparents were sealed there. It was so beautiful. I even got to wear my temple dress that I adore, look and feel so beautiful in. It was a great session.

Afterwards we changed and headed over to the Polynesian Cultural Center down the road. Another special place because my father helped build it while on a labor mission for the church. We had such a great time there! I loved every single millisecond of that day. It was wonderful!! I loved learning a lil more of my Polynesian heritage. The food at the PCC restaurant was soooo delicious!! (Oh man, now I’m getting hungry.) We had about an hour before the big night show, so we sat on a bench and talked. It was so nice. I started to get sleepy, so I laid down on the bench, and Jake held my head in his lap. Even though the sun had gone down by then, the weather was still so perfect. The night show was spectacular! I couldn’t get enough of it!! All of it was sooo awesome!!

Oh, so why that song…While we were in line for the restaurant Jake started to sing it to me. I love the lyrics… “I am a man who will fight for your honor. I'll be the hero you're dreaming of…” It was such a beautiful day, one that’ll be seared into my memory forever.

______________________________________________

just in case you haven't heard the song:

Recap...............

Friday:

The weekend went by pretty quickly!! Totally had fun at Ikea Friday night! Never ate at the cafe before, but man! It was surprisingly good! Felt kinda weird though...as if we were in high school (the cafeteria setting) and also in bizarro parent world. Everyone had kids....runnin' around, dropping stuff, screaming kids. It wasn't too bothersome, however it was entertaining to watch a particular Mom have the "OH THAT BETTER NOT BE MY KIDS AGAIN" face as she squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed for her husband's arm at the sound of every crashing noise. [which of course, it really was one of her kids...lol!].

Came home with a lil more than I last blogged about...Needed a gift for a friend's bday party and in an effort to be more green-reusable groceries bags! I bought 2 Ikea bags. I love these bags!! I bought one last year and used it as my beach bag. They're perfect because I don't mind putting my sopping wet/sandy items in them and has easy access too!

Saturday:

Worked out at the gym by myself for a lil over an hour. I love working out by myself. I'm able to really focus on what I'm doing and why I'm really at the gym. I love just pluggin' into my iPod and goin' at it! Got home, drove out with my friend Eddie to pick up his car at a friend's house. Oh yeah, and seen the coolest thing ever!

I'd never seen anything like it. I mean, I've seen writing in the sky before, yes. But this was a lil different, it was being done by 5 planes that you could hardly see. It was crazy! Ok ok, maybe it was one of those "Ooh, look at the pretty lights" moments.

So Eddie and I get back w/ his car, pick up Liz and head over to Lydia's baby's party. It was fun, I was starving by then so I pretty much killed all of my time at the gym when I had 2 Carne Asada nachos, chicken and fried won tons :( .

I always have my camera with me, no matter what. You never know when a good photo op is gonna happen. Well, I had my camera and was taking random photos at the party. I was taking a lot of photos of Eddie & Liz w/o them knowing. They're use to it by now, but the photos are pretty funny. So I'd take a few and pass the camera over for them to see, but I wouldn't let go of the strap because I didn't want them stealing the camera and deleting photos. This went on a couple more times...til:

...which ended up being the last picture my camera will have ever taken. Eddie snatched the camera away from me so quickly, it bounced back, falling on the table and landing on the extended lens. It was jammed in there and wouldn't budge. Adios camera. Some people never change...Once a breaker, always a breaker. So now I'm camera-less and kinda bummed about it! DANGIT!! I wasn't going to be getting another camera until my birthday, dude that's 4.5 months and a whole summer away!! GRRR!! Ok, now I'm pissed. So many things will be going on until then...Sim's graduation and Boy Scout/Eagle Court, Summer beach excursions, Maui, Nadia & baby Emerson, Kea's bday, Warped Tour, Padres games......GRR EDDIE!!!

Had another bday party that evening. I was sooooooooooo wiped out tired! But I had to go because it was a special friend from church. She's so wonderfully happy everytime I see her. Since she made an effort to invite me, it was the least I could do. Plus I had already gotten her a gift...off I went for about a half hour. Ended up being all the cliques from church--FUN! (*PUKE*). On the way home around 9'sh I still wanted to hang out w/ somebody, anybody...but Liz had a migraine, Eddie's on my 'DNC' list and everyone else was already "enjoying" Cinco de Mayo parties.

Came home, watched something and enjoyed the best gummy worms ever!! :)

Sunday:

Went to my family ward to play the organ for them. A handsome guy walked in and sat behind my sister and her family. Didn't catch his name...but it's very SELDOM when a single, handsome guy walks into the family ward. Hopefully he'll be there again this Sunday. It's always nice having a lil eye candy every now and then.

After Scrament meeting, I drove on over to my own YSA ward. It was good. A lot of good testimonies for once. Met some new people who were visiting. Went to choir practice in which I was the only soprano AGAIN!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I can't hit the high F notes---KATIE!!! COME BACK!!!! UGH! And we'll be singing it in 2 weeks w/ only one more practice--day off! :( I will NOT sing with the choir that day if I'm the only soprano. It's a song from Handel's "Jephtha".

Came home, had lunch and took my weekly Sunday afternoon nap. Ahhh, wonderful!! Ended up sleeping til 9..not good. Anyways, that was pretty much it. Good times, good times....

IKEA! IKEA! IKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I get to go to tonight!!

I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!

WHOOOOOO HOOOOOO FOR ME! (oh and Liz too, she's comin' along!)

Shopping list:

In exactly that order! See ya tonight Ikea!

(ok, maybe not everyone gets THIS excited, but I loooooooooove Ikea and haven't been there in a while! I love touching, trying and looking at everything!!)

AHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm like a kid in a candy store!!

ok ok, I'm like a kid.

One hour.

I've been up for an hour, this is my life today, thus far:

This & this...with lots of and trying not to think of how I'll need a while being a and all for and just when I thought I had nothing to do this summer...I'll be living at til the morning of October 18. Oh man, wish me !!!

(I love waking up to text msgs from best friends saying "We're getting married!! on Oct.18!! Call me!"--my rating today: 60% sarcasm)