The December 29th Blog

Today my wonderful, beautiful friend StephaniePatricia entered the Missionary Training Center to start her mission to Albuquerque, New Mexico...for the next 18 months. I'm going to miss her so much. I couldn't have been blessed with a more caring and loving friend such as she, these last couple months. In the short space of a few months we became so close. I will miss her every morning and all of our "Goooooooooooood Morning/Top of da mawrnin' to ya/Good Morning Star Shine, the Earth says Hello!" text messages. I will miss our daily chats... she was wise beyond her years, funnier than most and caring with a heart of gold. I love her dearly and wish her the very best as she embarks on this most awesome adventure and experience of a life time.

Life's been good lately....very good....

I had a WONDERFUL evening with Pep tonight. He's a new friend that I've been getting to know lately. He's not typically my "type" and it's kinda refreshing, something totally new and different. I like it. I like talking with him because he has such a calming effect and always prefers that I be totally open and honest with him. I really liked how cool he was with my shaved head. He's really cute and I could possibly see myself liking him. I can't wait to see him tomorrow night. I'm actually pretty excited/giddy to see him. He's seriously so cute and has such a soft face. He makes me smile.

I love Thursdays ♥

I love my Thursdays, again!

Dear Thursday,

I've missed my love affair with you, these last several weeks. Today was a very good Thursday! :) I got to hang out with my very dear friend, PajamaPants. I've missed him so much. He's one of my closest friends, I love him so much. I look forward to any opportunity I get to spend with him. He makes me laugh and he knows me COMPLETELY. I have no secrets with him and he always tells me exactly what I NEED to hear. I couldn't have been blessed with a more caring and loving friend.

I also got to hang out with StephaniePatricia. I can't believe she leaves this weekend for her LDS mission. I'm going to miss her so much. Heavenly Father couldn't have put a better friend in my path, these last several months. I've been so blessed by her and her loving friendship.

Last but not least, I got to hang with Mr.Red, as well :). He looked so AMAZING, as always. I tried to talk to him as much as I could...but PajamaPants was there and I've missed him so much. After PajamaPants left, I was able to talk with Mr.Red a lil more. Can I just say, he's so dang beautiful. Seriously, I love looking into his eyes. He's just funny and lots of fun to be around. I always have a great time.

Tonight was a good night.....a very good night. I thought tomorrow was going to be a crazy hectic day....but I'll have a nice lil lunch break to distract me :) G'nite.

-ehu.

Grinch much?

I don't mean to be a Grinch about Christmas, but it's my least favorite holiday. I don't like the way it's so commercialized. My friend put it best today, she called it "Buy me everything I want while I stress over what you want" day. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping. I hate that I haven't and I hate that I feel so guilty for not doing so. Why can't we just give gifts of time? I know my parents would appreciate me spending more time with them...as I would appreciate spending more time with some of my other family members, as well. Oh well....

So I found out some stuff about Mr. Red. Apparently he digs a chick that ALL the other guys have been into. I knew that it was bound to happen....that in time he would jump on that 'train' as well. Luckily she doesn't like him, but it doesn't matter. I'm done. Like I said before, we'll only ever be friends.

I've been sick lately. REALLY SUCKS. My voice is totally hoarse, I feel so weak and just want to sleep all the time. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, I just realized that I could possibly have Mono.... Really, MONO??? UGH!!!! DAMNIT.

GRR!!!!

I hate Christmas.

The End.

If ever you're at La Bella's...order the Manicotti!

So I met up with my friend Steph @ Institute cause we wanted to hang out this afternoon. What ended up happening is she made me the dearest Christmas card while I was off playing the piano. LOOOOOOOVE the card! She's truly the best!! I couldn't have asked for a better friend these past several months!! I ended up spending the late afternoon talking with Sister McKenzie. I seriously love her! She's so wonderful! I wish I had the same kind of relationship with my Mom. I love talking with Sister McKenzie. She sees the good in people and recognizes their potential. She's funny as heck, loving towards all and brutally honest. It will truly break my heart when her and Elder McKenzie end their mission next July.

Had dinner with my sister and our dear friend Rami, who's in town from Utah. Oh, I've missed her so and didn't even realize it!! It was definitely a wonderful evening!! Good food at La Bella's...love their Manicotti! I love the coziness of La Bella's. I've always imagined a first date there...there's something warm and welcoming about it.

This weekend I'll be seeing Mamacita and Mr.NY. I haven't seen Mamacita for a while. I miss working with her! She was one of the best co-workers/assistants! I miss her so much! And Mr.NY.... Hmm... I wonder how it'll be to see him again. The last time I talked to him was my last day with my old company. I had tears in my eyes and I loved his 'good-bye' hug. If I didn't have Mr.Red in my life these days, I'd probably just get weak at the knees for Mr.NY. Oh geez, I just remembered Lee will be there as well. Hmm...let's hope he's too drunk on Saturday night to remember last February :) That would be a relief!

Ok, so that's about it....G'nite.

Facelift.

I need to revamp my blog.

It feels boring.

And I want to name it something else...I'm tired of the name.

AYUDAME, POR FAVOR!! (Help me, please!!)

Homemade Soup & Bread

Got to hang out with my friends CC & Steph today. I always have the best times with them! They're chill and funny...that's enough for me. Sometimes, I get into a funk and they are the only two friends I want to interact with at church. They get me and I don't have to explain my moods, jokes or sarcasm. I don't know what I'd do without them around. Today we ate some of Sister McKenzie's homemade soup and bread. SO. DAMN. DELICIOUS.!!!! God bless this woman for everything she makes!! Afterwards, we hung out on the couches at Institute. It was cool because we were just hanging out, resting our full tummies, not really talking much....til this guy Wil walked up and started running his mouth.

I cannot stand this guy. Seriously, he needs to watch himself around me, because I don't have any more patience or a filter on my mouth. I'm done being nice, especially after last night. Last night, he started to call out CC on something he didn't like about her. Last time I checked, you don't do that to someone in front of a large group of people. You pull them aside and speak with them privately. He's extremely socially incompetent!!!

Mr. Red called me out of the blue, last night. VERY INTERESTING conversation. I love his intelligence, it's very intriguing. We texted for a while today. This man is definitely "something else". Everytime I start to think I know him, he surprises me with something new. I like it...it keeps me on my toes. I definitely like how this friendship is turning out. :)

Hmmm....and that's all I have on my mind. G'nite.

NOT another Manic Monday!! :]

*Had the BEST weekend!!! Seriously, AWESOME!!! LOVED. EVERY. MOMENT.!! The Christmas Concert for our stake was terrific!! So much fun and all of our hard work paid off!! Wow! So glad!

*Hung out with CC & Steph all weekend....FABULOUS!!

*Got to see Mr.Red all weekend, as well......LOOOOOVED IT!! Cuddled & talked.....pretty amazing weekend, if you ask me ;) Perma grin status, for sure!

*The weather was BEAUTIFUL all weekend!! Almost perfect beach weather...and it's winter!!! HAHAHAHA!! I love it!!

*I'm so giddy happy!! It's been a while since I've been 'smile all day' happy!! I can't smiling. I'm glad the storm clouds have passed and the sun is shining again....it's about time :)

*I feel so blessed with such genuine and easy going friends. The last couple of weeks has been CRAZY/HELL and it's nice to know that I have friends that make the load of life a lot easier. My cup runneth over.....

*I seriously can't stop smiling over the AWESOME weekend I had. And this Monday ain't too shabby either! It started off quite nicely with a lovely lil text message! :) And the best part is, it's just gonna get better!! I. Can't. Wait.!! Plus this weekend is my ol' company's work party...I'm stoked to see all of my ol' friends there!! Awww Mr. NY will be there ....WOW!

*I love the Mckenzies! They run the Institute of Religion for my congregation. They're from Idaho and I LOVE EVERYTHING this woman makes!! After I take a bite of anything she makes, I always think, "God bless Sister McKenzie!!". It's like manna from Heaven!! Plus, they're just the sweetest and kindest couple alive. Elder Mckenzie has an infectious smile! I can't help but smile so big everytime I see him! I just wanna hug and squeeze the stuffing out of them both! It's like seeing Santa Claus all the time! Ahhh, I just love them so much!!

*I'm actually a lil excited to play the organ at church next Sunday. It's been a while and it's been so enjoyable getting to sing the hymns at church. I'm a lil nervous, but I know I can do it!

*I've been studying the Bible more. I hate being ignorant about certain stuff. A friend teaches Sunday school at church and I'm tired of hearing stories from the Bible that I SHOULD know. It's pathetic. But I love the class because he makes the Bible come alive and it's so fascinating with all of it's stories.

*Ok, I'm seriously so happy, it's ridiculous! Happy Monday everyone!!

Such a perfect lil song ♥

Last night my sister and I watched, "The Back Up Plan" (TOTALLY CUTE! LOVED IT!)

Came across this song during the movie....loved the lyrics! It seemed to hit home... ♥ It's exactly how I feel right now. Enjoy!:

Boy you put me on the spot I don't know what to say
But I'm trying anyway
Like my hearts gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can't control the pains

Words are spinning in my head
Don't know why I'm holding back
I should just tell you how I'm feeling yeah heh

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

The more I brush it off
Tell myself it's nothing at all
Deeper I fall
And I imagine everyday
A thousand different ways
How you respond to what I say

Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won't go away

I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

But if I never tell you then you'll never know
And the secret is get-ting heavy to hold
This is more than just a crush
So I may stut-ter when I speak
And my knees may get a little weak
But I've got nothing to lose and only you to gain
Tell me do you feel the same

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

-Jessica Jarrell, "Key to my Heart".

FRRRRIDAY!!!

**5 FAAAAAAAAAAAVES!!**

*Dreyer's Peppermint Ice Cream.

*Talking with Mr. Red. :)

*Having a working oven again....YUMMY YUM YUM Enchiladas!

*Being blessed with such loving & genuine friends.

*Sleep.

A lil Thursday sunshine :)

Today didn't start out as I would have liked it. That's the second week in a row now. But I'm really glad that there was a silver lining to my 'dark' cloud of a day.

I got to hang out with some of my dearest friends, play the piano that I've missed lately and I even got to talk with Mr. Red...

But I think I was a bit awkward & idiotic around him. He came over to talk to me because he was wondering where I was. We talked for a while and then it was just silent....as he continued to stand in front of me. It wasn't an awkward silence, but I just didn't feel comfortable not saying anything while he stood in front of me. I don't know why it was so weird for me tonight? We talk and text, so why was this so different to me. I guess it's because I haven't seen him for about 2 weeks...and I was just happy to see him again in real life. I don't want to like him. I mean, I do...but I can't. I like being his friend. I'm not ready for my heart to go thru hurt and sadness again. I hate that feeling, being vulnerable and hopeful all at once. I love talking with him and being able to always be open and brutally honest with him. Am I developing a 'crush' on him??? Ugh, I think I am. I feel myself getting shy and quiet around him. I can't like him...Besides, today I found something very fitting for my life:

"I can't love, shot full of holes

Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold

Don't feel nothing, just old scars

Toughening up around my heart." -Elton John

It's safer if I don't like him, or anyone else. I'm not ready to have my heart stomped on. I'm tired of my poor heart going through the ringer. Besides, Mr. Red and I are friends...we'll only ever be friends.

What I keep telling myself today...

"God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference...." -Serenity Prayer

"Imagine all the people, living life in peace..." -John Lennon.

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

Monday Monday....

*Finally started "The 30 Day Blog Challenge"...from almost 2 months ago.

*I can't stand unpacking...but it is a lot better than packing. Hands down!

*My bed's now lopsided. I don't know what happened during the move, but it definitely tilts to one side now. :( GRRRR.... I miss my once perfect bed....stupid moving!

*I love Sister McKenzie (one of my Institute teachers). EVERYTHING she makes is like manna from Heaven! No joke!! Every time I take a bite of something she's made I can't help but think, "God bless Sister McKenzie". She would definitely put Martha Stewart to shame!!! I hope I grow up cooking and baking just like Sis. McKenzie!

*I ate at Tacos El Gordo twice in one day. Once at 12am and then tonight around 9pm. Yeah, I can just feel my clothes getting tighter.

*And apparently it's Christmas... I still kinda hate the holiday, aside from the Christ part. I hate the commercialization of it. It sucks all of the Christ part out of Christmas.

*This Saturday is the Stake Christmas Concert. I'm so excited to finally be singing in one. Last year, I couldn't because my Meniere's was at it's worst. I'm nervous because I'm not 100% comfortable with ALL the songs, but I'll do my very best! Handel's "For Unto a Child is Born" is pretty tricky. The running part is definitely something else.... if I can just ace it, then I'll feel fine. Good luck to me. Other than that, I just hope I don't trip during the processional and don't sing during the wrong parts. We'll see.....

Location, Location, Location...

This morning I woke up for the last time in my childhood home. I'm not really sad or bummed. I don't even know what I feel about it. It feels weird and sad. I wish I could avoid coming back to this neighborhood, but my best friend still lives across the street. It'll be weird to come visit her and see people going into my house... I guess, their house.

I'm not really excited about the move or even really bummed about it. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. It just feels like a new adventure.

This past June when I went up to Utah, I swung by my FAVORITE restaurant, The Pie Pizzeria. It was nice and the pizza was delicious, as usual. However it just wasn't the same. I've come to learn since then that it's the people that make a place better, not so much the location. I guess that's why I didn't go back to visit my mission {The New Jersey Cherry Hill Mission} while I was in Philadelphia because all of my friends weren't there. It wouldn't have been the same. I guess that's how I feel about moving away from my childhood home.....a family makes a house a home.

And I forgot it was Thursday...

*Woke up this morning, at 4:30am to screaming and yelling... NOT. THE. BEST. WAY. TO. EVER. WAKE. UP. Hurtful things were said, but thankfully I know they're not true and I know who I am. But seriously, I never want to start my morning like that again....

*I thought for sure that I would end this day with a trip to the ER. I'm just so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who watches over us.

*Today's been such a roller coaster type of day. I'm so thankful for the blessing of close family members & genuine friends. My cup runneth over.

*I text Mr.Red for a bit today. He makes me smile and I couldn't be more grateful to have him in my life.

*I'm so excited for my friend StephaniePatricia. She's going through the San Diego temple for the first time tomorrow. I would give anything to be there with her. Soon enough we'll get to go together. I can't wait for that day. I miss the temple tremendously.

*Life ain't so bad sometimes. That's why there's Hope. ♥