The 1:16am Post

Technically, it's Monday morning...
Since I haven't fallen asleep, it's still Sunday, to me.

In a week's time, I will be a married lady!
MARRIED!!
Dude, I can't even wrap my head around it!

At times, I trip out. I will have a HUSBAND!!
I think I'm tripping out riiiiight now.

I wrote my vows last night.  Kinda surreal.  We read each other's vows today.  His vows were so sweet and tender (like him).  Mine....um, well, didn't quite sound like vows.  How in the world do you express your innermost feelings without sounding like a goon?!  In regards to my vows, my biggest accomplishment will be me being able to get through them without sobbing and getting choked up.  

In a week's time I will be surrounded by my most treasured loved ones.  I'm so happy for those we were able to invite.  I know not everyone we invited will be there, but it's totally understandable and we hold no ill will at all.  We're so blessed by the warm thoughts that have been sent our way.  We're so lucky!

I spoke to my childhood best friend tonight.  It's been a while since Liz & I spoke.  Sometimes life gets too busy.  I hate the distance that can happen in friendships.  I know I haven't focused on a lot of the friendships that I should, in which I feel terrible.  Anywhoo...back to Liz.  Man, I'm so thankful for those friends of mine that have been around since forever.  Friends who know me.  Those are the best types of friends.

Back to wedding freak-out stuff.  So I bought some Spanx.  Uh... I'm not super excited to be wearing it for the wedding.  Dang my stupid gym membership that I got like 3 months ago and didn't quite use.  Ugh....  Spanx, my last resort.

Oh yeah, we went by my parents' place yesterday.  We brought donuts to smooth things over and walked in to find that my Mom made teriyaki beef ribs, sausage, corn and beans. SOOOOOOOO DELISH!! Especially since we were starving....which is why we went overboard in buying a dozen donuts.  Anyways, it was such good familiar family comfort food.  I loved it.  I think I felt much like the Prodigal Son.  Since my last phone call with her ended so poorly, it was nice to be well received and smooth things over before the wedding.  As always, it was nice to see my Dad.  He looked 10x better than when we last saw him, on Father's Day.  I'm glad I'll be so blessed to see my parents, sister & kids in a week's time.  SO SOOOOOOO lucky to have all of them, in one place.

Man....what else.....  I need to start thinking about what to set aside and pack for our trip.  I'm the worst packer in the world, but I have to have everything packed a couple days prior.  Good luck to me.

Ok, I need to get some sleep.... I already know that this week is going to fly by!

The Nephews & Niece.

What a great week it's been.  I mentioned in an earlier post that my two oldest nephews came down to visit.  Man oh man, I LOVED having them all in one place.  The awesome part is that in a week I'll get to see all of them all over again!!
I love them, I love them oh so much!  Sometimes my heart can't take it that they've all grown up so fast!!  They are some of my most favorite people on earth!  Heaven knows how much I enjoy being around them.  I know we've certainly grown closer together in the last few years.  I wish I could have them all under the same roof again.
I love the way we can joke around, tease each other to no end and laugh about so many funny family memories. I'm so grateful to know that I will have them for an eternity.  I just hope we get a deck of cards & Monopoly to enjoy for the rest of time.

Dear 2 Boys & 2 Kids,

Stop growing up.

Love,

Your dear ol' aunt.

NINE DAYS!!

How is the time flying by so SOOOOOOOOOOOO quickly?!?!? I feel like there's a lot to do and the time is just flying by so FAST!!

There's so much to blog about that I don't even know where to start...especially when it's now 12:02am and I should have been asleep over an hour ago.  It's so damn hot right now, I can't sleep in this heat!

What's on my mind.....

*Levi and I had my sister over for dinner and to hang out.  It was pretty great.  I think this is the most I've seen my sister in a week, since January.  

*My 2 oldest nephews came to visit and it was oh so nice having all my nephews and nieces in one place.  I love them all so much!!

*It was especially nice having Bub's wife here as well.  Heaven knows I didn't make it easy on her, while she was dating Bub.  I'm glad she understands that I was just overprotective.  My nephews haven't really just been nephews to me, I see them as my younger brothers sometimes.  I'm so grateful for them.  I'm also grateful to have Bub's wife in our family, as well.  Even though I gave her a hell of a time, she's always been so kind to me & my family.  I couldn't be any happier for Bub to have someone as caring as she, for eternity.

*My oldest nephew Simi got engaged on Tuesday.  I missed the proposal by a few minutes, but the video captured it nicely.  I hope he's genuinely happy.  Even though he's been here and we've spent some time together, I don't think I had a conversation with him, longer than 2 minutes.  I think I spoke with her just as long, too.  She seems nice, but perhaps we'll get a chance to talk a little longer than next time I come across her.

*I hate this heat.  It's just so miserable.  I will take the cold ANYTIME!!!  

*Ok, I'm getting tired and my eyelids are getting heavy.

G'nite.

T-minus TWO WEEKS!

Man, I'm so tired.  The last week and a half has been quite emotional which always takes a toll on my Meniere's Disease.  I hate it.  I hate when stress enters my life.  I'm glad that some people in my life understand what stress does to my Meniere's.
I had a pretty mean migraine on Wednesday.  I had my two computer screens switched out for larger ones and they happened to be extremely bright.  I didn't quite realize it was that bright until I had Chuy take a look at it.  I just figured that's how the screens always were.  Ugh.  Awful night.  Stupid extra strength Tylenol did nothing for me.  I got up at 4am, took an Aleve and started to feel better instantly!  I've had a small lingering headache for the last couple days, which only makes sense since my period started. Now I just want to sleep and lounge around all weekend.  I'm so physically tired, yet there's so much to do.
I can't believe that our wedding weekend will be here in TWO WEEKS!! 15 days from now, I'll be married!!! Part of me feels overwhelmed, but yet I just can't wait.  I'm excited, anxious, stoked, thrilled and everything good under the sun.  I get to marry the man who makes my life a million times more happier, lovelier, richer and funnier.  Every day, he gives me a reason to love him 10x more than the day before.  Today he knows that it's been a doozy for me and he got us pizza for lunch. Pizza, my most favorite meal on earth! To thank him for it, I stopped by 7-11 before he got home w/ the pizza.
He's just so good to me.  I never dreamt that I'd get this lucky.  I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my life.  Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me so abundantly.

Late Thursday.

*I'm so truly grateful for the kind friends and loved ones who have encircled me with an abundance of love and understanding, this week.  Man, I feel like a million bucks! My loved ones are the greatest and in turn it makes me want to be a better friend & kinder person to everyone.

*This week has been such a doozy.  I can't wait for this weekend! My 2 oldest nephews will be visiting! It's been so long!! All my nephews and niece, in one place.  This makes my heart happy

*I don't have a lot to blog about, tonight.  

*I'm excited to celebrate Hermanita's birthday tomorrow.  Man, I'm constantly reminded of the wonderful souls I have in my life that truly bless my life in more ways than one.  

*THREE of my friends had babies this week!  WOW!! Crazy exciting! I love them all and wish I could visit all of them and snuggle their babies.

*I had a dream of Tina, Chuy & Chuy's nephew, last night.  It was weird to dream about a baby.  When I told Tina & Chuy my dream, they both said I was next to have a baby.  Uh....we'll see about that.  Oh how I love sleep so much!

*Speakin of which... I better hit the hay!  Peace out!

The Truth of the Matter.

{disclaimer: a little long...}

A couple months ago, Levi and I decided that we just wanted to get married already, especially since we were approaching our 1 year anniversary of our engagement.  We were planning on having a small wedding here in San Diego, where we live, but the costs were always a lot more than we wanted.  We priced around at different venues and even did a cake tasting. (Oh how I loved Kona Kakes!!)  We didn't want to go into debt for a one day celebration.  However, we had a small window of time to work with.  My new job (since Feb) didn't allow my PTO until August 16 and his Fall semester for school starts on August 18 through December 15.  We didn't want to hold off until the end of his Fall semester in December because it would be too close to the Christmas holidays, too close to his Dad's recent wedding anniversary and too close to his January birthday.  Besides, we just wanted to get married and for months he had been (semi-jokingly/semi-seriously) teasing me about just going to Vegas.  He had lived there before, so I trusted his judgment as he addressed my concerns.  There was something fun, thrilling and romantic about just going off to get married, in Vegas.   

In late May, we dropped all other wedding planning and decided we would elope to Vegas.  Wow, this was trippy!  It would all be happening so quickly.  The first thing we did was order our wedding clothes since they were being shipped from Hawaii.  I talked to my manager at work and explained the situation and she was cool with me making up time before and after our "trip".   We looked at where we'd want to stay and where we'd want to get married.  Everything started to snowball so quickly and by the 2nd week of June we were locked into where we were staying and where we'd be married at.   

The weekend we picked was in August, before his school started back up and just a couple weeks early before my PTO started.  It's a weekend that worked out perfectly for us.    It just so happened to be the weekend of my mom's extended family reunion, all of her cousins from her dad's side.  A lot of people I don't personally know or basically know in general.  I was asked on several occasions if I was planning on attending, but I declined because at first I didn't think I'd be able to ask for PTO.   Totally fine with me since I didn't want to spend my hard earned vacation time with people I didn't really know.  Sure my first cousins from Utah & Vegas would be there, but I could wait to see them once I had my PTO.  Plus, Vegas in August isn't my ideal combination.   However, it was decided, we were eloping to Vegas.  We'd be able to keep the costs down low and have a mini honeymoon.  Totally fine with us since our main objective was to get married sooner, than later...and cheaper than high priced.  Done! 

As the days passed by, Levi asked if I might want to reconsider not inviting family.  He figured that since there was already an extended family reunion going on that we'd want to invite them.  I couldn't have a wedding with extended family without having my sister, nephews & niece there.  There was no way in hell I would do that.  Lemme explain something,  when I say "sister" I consider her my immediate family.  The law, and several others, would define her as "ex-sister-in-law".  We have been through thick & thin and she will always be my sister.  Enough said.  I thought a lot about what this change in our wedding would mean.  I thought about the possible drama that might occur because some people would feel offended for not being invited.  The thought alone took a while to change my mind, but in the end I could see where Levi's optimistic idea would be  nice consideration.  Plus it wasn't fair to him because he should be able to have his family there, to witness this special event in his life.  We called our families, announced our plans for a very small wedding and made changes to our wedding package.  I warmed up to the idea and felt like this is the way we should have went in the first place.   

We contacted our wedding planner, made the upgrade and paid the fees.  I quickly ordered a small amount of invites and sent them out to our immediate family...well, I tried to.  It's been pretty hellacious at work, so by the time I'd come home, I was completely worn out and didn't give a second thought to any wedding planning or to-do lists.  Thankfully Levi's been such a big help with getting everything planned and corresponding with our wedding planners.  The package we upgraded to gave us a maximum  of how many we could invite.   It was going to be a very small wedding.  We wanted to invite our immediate families, and those that mean something to us as a couple.   I've been pretty blessed to have many close friends that I would consider family.  it's been very difficult trying to decide who to invite.  Luckily, I have many close people in my life that have been understanding during this invite process.  They've been nothing but considerate and full of happiness for Levi & me. 

Last Monday, I was talking with Levi, telling him how excited I was and how I want to scream it from the roof tops.  However, I wanted to keep our wedding private because I didn't want the onslaught of well intended questions that would come flooding in.  Examples: "Why didn't you tell me about your wedding? Where are you getting married?  What are you going to wear?  Who's going to be your maid of honor?  What does your dress look like?  Where are you going on your honeymoon?"  Basically things I've been asked during the course of our engagement and even before we got engaged.  I don't like telling stories (or answers) twice. Not that I'm not excited, I just don't like repeating myself.  Most of the time, I know the questions being asked are out of good intentions.  I didn't want to go blabbering it all over the place because I felt like it would be rubbing peoples' noses in it, those that weren't invited.   

The next day I had two phone calls, from two family members.  During those phone calls, I was basically told I was being selfish, and not thinking of others since I wasn't "inviting all of our cousins".  I was also asked why I didn't invite certain individuals from my family--individuals that I don't have a relationship with, nor do they really like me.  I think that's self explanatory when the person asking the question already knows that their spouse doesn't like me, so why would I invite that spouse?  Unfortunately this sibling of mine was led to believe that I only invited him because our parents would need a ride there.  No dear sibling, the reason you were invited is because we've been reconciling our relationship, you expressed an interest in meeting Levi and you happen to live in Vegas.  With those three things, why wouldn't I have invited you?  I'm bummed you choose not to be a part of my special day, but you have your reasons.

From the get go, we've told our family that we were having a very small wedding ceremony due to costs of the wedding package and wanting to take them all out to eat, afterwards.   One thing we always wanted from the beginning, is that we wanted family to come and enjoy the day with us.  We didn't want them to feel like they needed to contribute or bring/make anything for the wedding.  Heaven knows how many weddings I've been to where I had to put tables, chairs & food away.  I didn't want our families to have that same burden.  We just wanted them to show up and sit down, that's all.  Everything was taken care of,  we planned the wedding exactly how Levi & I wanted.  That's all that mattered, right?  We paid for it ourselves and took care of all the details, just as it should be for our wedding.  We wanted family and very close friends to be there to witness our wedding; those who want us to be happy, and who want to bring joy to our special day.  However, Tuesday evening I was told that I wasn't thinking of what my parents wanted or how it was rude to not have my "wedding at the family reunion and just hire somebody to marry [us]."  I was besides myself... I was being called selfish because I didn't take into consideration everyone else's thoughts, feelings & concerns for my wedding.   If we had a lot more money, sure we would have had a bigger wedding back in San Diego where we could invite everyone that we wanted.  However, let's remember our original plans of wanting to elope so we could keep the costs down.   Then upgrading it to include immediate family, thus spending more money.     

A lot of mean spirited things were said Tuesday evening and I am posting this blog to explain my side and my choices regarding my wedding.  Some will believe it, others will disregard it and continue feeling slighted.  I don't have the time or energy to concern myself with those slighted feelings.  The only thing I will apologize for is not being able to invite everyone we want to our wedding.  No one ever wants to say, "Sorry, we're broke, we could only afford a small wedding" but that's the truth of the matter.  Those who love us will truly understand and only wish the very best for us.  I can't ask anything more.  

Happy Birthday America!

Dude, I love this day!! This is one of my most favorite holidays.  I love everything it stands for and the opportunity it gives Americans to be a little more patriotic today.  How can this song not get you to hold your head up a little higher and be proud to be an American?! I love it!

Now if only I could find this lil gem, it would make the day so much better!

Don't assume that I'd only wear them today... I've been searching for these for the last 2 years! I would proudly wear them ALL. THE. TIME.!! I love them!

Anywhoooo... I need to start packing up my stuff and get going to the beach, I've got a tan awaiting me, family to see and BBQ'd corn on the cob waiting to be eatten! LOVE IT!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!! MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE!