I just want the world to stop with me for a day or two. I just want to look at photos of my Dad. I want to listen to all of the voicemails I have saved on my phone. I want to share all of my most treasured stories and memories of him. I want to hear his voice again. My eyes and face are so red and swollen from crying all day. I'm so sleepy but I can't sleep. The first few seconds upon waking up are blissful because I forget the pain for just a moment. Then it hits me, like a ton of bricks. All over again, it hits me hard like the air is knocked out of me completely. I've sobbed so many times during the day today and I know I am not done crying. I've never experienced heartache and loss like this before. It is the worst pain and emptiness I have ever felt.
I miss my Dad. My heart is trying to understand what my mind knows of the eternal plan of my Heavenly Father. For now, I am selfish and I want to hold my Dad again, right now. I wish I could hear my Dad's voice reassure me at this time.
I just hope that my Dad knows how much I will always love him.
