Tearful Tuesday...Mr. Red & Ras.

Last night, my nephew Sim & I went over to Mr. Red's for dinner.  On Sunday, Sim & Mr. Red were talking about his Vespa, that he doesn't really use.  Sim's been in need of his own mode of transportation since coming home from his mission, in August.  Part of the reason why Sim was invited over was so he could discuss the (2006, great condition) Vespa and a possible sale. After dinner the discussion started and ended with Mr. Red giving Sim his Vespa for an EXTREMELY generous price.  Let's just say it's BEYOND generous.   He practically gave Sim the Vespa, but Sim felt he should give him something, at least...so he offered everything he had in his wallet.  $5.  FIVE DOLLARS!  And Mr. Red accepted it.  Sim had a perma-grin, from ear to ear.  I think we were both in shock.  I was floored at his charitable offer and kind act.   Mr. Red couldn't have bestowed such generosity upon a more humble and grateful person, like Sim.  While Sim was out riding around, Mr. Red & I talked, on his uber-comfy couch.  However, I was uncommonly quiet.  The fortunate thing about Mr. Red is that silence between us is A-Ok, it's not uncomfortable because he knows I'm [usually] contemplating and reflecting on something.  Last night was a little different, I was awfully quiet and I couldn't understand why, yet Mr. Red was patient, as always.

After Sim & I got home, I was texting with Ras.  He's usually the last person I communicate with at night and it's become a common thing for him to wish me, "boa noite,  doces sonhos" (good night, sweet dreams).  Sometimes, my day would start with a "Bom dia!" text.  After going back and forth for a bit, it really started to hit me that my friend was leaving for 2 years. Two WHOLE years.  It hit me hard, really hard.  While Mr. Red was away on deployment for several months, Ras became the friend I needed and grew closer to. After my "Ras is leaving for two years" realization, the water works started and wouldn't stop.  I cried because I was going to miss my friend so much! I don't always see Ras' the callous side that so many other see.  I'm fortunate enough to see the kind, caring and sensitive Ras that he rarely lets others know about. While I was Relief Society president, he sustained me in so many ways.  When I felt down in the dumps about stuff, I'd turn to him and he'd uplift my spirits and heart.  Yeah, I liked him at one time, but at the heart of it all, we were always friends.  So when I say I'm going to miss him, I'm going to miss my good friend who's been there when I didn't allow others to see my weak or vulnerable side, my friend who never got annoyed at my antics and my friend who's just fun to be around.  
I started to think of the transaction that occurred between Mr. Red and Sim.  How in the world was Mr. Red really going to give Sim the Vespa for free?! How is someone just so giving and willing to accept $5 for a 5 year old, great condition motor scooter?!  And on top of that, giving him the helmet and riding gloves too!?  I couldn't wrap my mind around it.  This guy who practically gave away his Vespa is my friend...not just some random good guy from a random heart warming story, but my friend who I'm tremendously blessed to know.  I wept more, my heart was bursting at the seams and I couldn't stop the tears.  My mind and heart was in awe that Heavenly Father would bless my life with such giving, compassionate and selfless friends.  Knowing and realizing this was overwhelming, last night.  I'm truly grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows what types of friends I need in my life and blesses me with such heaven sent angels.  My cup runneth over!!   

The perma-grin happy new Vespa owner.

(and yes, even as I was typing this the water works were slighly flowing.  I can't help it, my heart is bursting with gratitude!)

Dating, Marriage and Hope.

I really feel like writing in my journal tonight. However, I'm staying at a friend's during this Thanksgiving weekend and I left it at home.  I'm a lil bummed about it, because I like to take my journal with me wherever I'm staying.  I like to write in it, at the end of my day, right before I go to bed.  It's how I unwind, at night.  Since I don't have my journal...this is the next best thing.  I hope I don't get too TMI, but I have stuff on my mind. Stuff that I've been thinking of for the last couple days...several weeks... for a while.
Well, as previously mentioned, I'm in a Singles adult ward (no longer in a young single adult ward).  From talking with friends, I hope I don't "retire" from another ward.  I've been thinking a lot about dating & marriage.
I'm tired of being single. I envy my friends who are married with kids... oh how I wish I could be living that life and feeling like I'm actually accomplishing the purpose of this life.  Sometimes I wonder, "Do my married friends feel sorry/pity on me because I'm not married with children, like they are?" A couple of my married friends say they wish they could trade places with me; single, free to come & go with ease, do whatever I want, etc.  I guess the 'grass seems greener on the other side.'
I'd really like to experience marriage, in this lifetime.  I'd like to experience motherhood and the blessing of pregnancy, feeling life growing within me.  I'm tired of being alone.  I miss being in a relationship, having someone by your side is an amazing feeling.  What do I miss the most about being in a relationship?  Geez, where do I begin? I miss those 'inside' jokes.  I miss someone who just 'gets me', because that means a lot to me... where I don't have to explain why I do/say stuff because they just know me so well.  I miss physical affection, people need to be touched. I learned a lot about that while in massage college.  It's true.  People need hugs and just good physical touch (I don't necessarily mean sex, I'm sure that's good too... I wouldn't know, yet).  I miss holding hands, having a warm arm around me, a safe & secure arm to hold while walking, the closeness of two faces, allowing/desiring someone to be in your 'personal space', a good guy hug, cuddling... I crave [good] physical touch.  I miss the closeness, security and intimacy a relationship provides.  I miss sharing my most tender feelings and deepest thoughts, allowing myself to trust someone enough to be vulnerable.  Most of all, I miss saying, "I love you" and knowing you mean it more than when you say it to all others in your life.
I really miss being in a serious relationship.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm ready to be in one, again.  Part of me says 'no' because I want to offer him my very best self.  I want to give him the best me; physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, intellectually and all other "-ly's".  There are some areas that I know I can and should improve on.  Of course I'd want to give my best self because I'm hoping that there's a man out there that has those same intentions, as well.  I hope I get to be married in the temple, someday.   Honestly, I'm getting a little sick and tired of being the lone single at so many church activities and friends' events.  As much as I LOVE going to the temple, it seems like everyone there has on a wedding ring. :( I just wonder, "When is it going to be my turn?"  I hate thinking that question because it brings tears to my eyes, every time.  I also wonder, "Did I somehow raise my hand in the pre-mortal existence agreeing to live a life without marriage and children???"  I get tired praying about it, because I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. I know that all things are done in the Lord's time and will, but I have a hard time convincing my poor heart.  I wish I could just know with a surety if I'm to be married in this lifetime or not. I can't help but sigh and try to put it in the furthest part of my mind and heart, put a smile on my face and try to be okay with it all....because quite honestly, I'm not.  I can't convince my heart any more because it hurts trying to hope for something that doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen.  Will I forever be 'aunt Ehu who never got married'?  I think I just might be.  Oh well.

"Age appropriate" clothes?

Tonight, I was reading the newspaper, skimming over store ads and "window shopping" online.  I started to think about stuff I wear and how I wish I could/would dress.  I know I'm 31 year old (man, I still don't like saying that aloud :( )  and I don't think, feel or act like a 31 year old....maybe I look like it? Gosh, I hope not... maybe I really should start wearing SPF +1000 on my face?
Well anyways, back to my point... 
In my ideal world, I would wear:

With jeans, cute cardigans and accessories, of course!  You know, so I don't look like I'm 15 or something.  


**I guess I posted this for more reasons than one.... I'm kinda not the best dresser. I'm either too casual or too over the top.   I wish I could live in board shorts, hoodie sweaters and Reef slippers--but I can't, as much as I'd like to think I can, living in San Diego.  I just wish I was one of those "cutesy" type of dressers.... *sigh* someday.... :)

As of late, in late November...

-I now work closer to the temple, which is a blessing, because it's easier to keep my goal of attending the temple once a week.
-Yep, I said, "work"... and how many people do you know get these:

on their first day on the job? It was such a nice surprise! I love flowers!! Especially Gerbers, they remind me of my best friend, StephyPooh.
-So I like this new job. So far, it's really nice and chill.  I enjoy my coworkers.  It's only temporary until I hear back from the county.
-I had a work meeting with "Mulligan" yesterday. Oh man, Mulligan.... He has such GORGEOUS blue eyes!! I couldn't stop looking at them! And his smile is adorably cute!! My friend PF's been giving me the 411 on him and says he's a pretty genuine guy. Oh yeah! I just remembered, I talked to Mulligan on the phone today! I was calling for his assistant, but he answered.  
Me: Hi "Mulligan", it's Ehulani, is Terry available?
Him: Hi! No she's not, she's out today.
Me: Oh..ok.
Him: Yeah, she's normally off on Fridays & Saturdays
(silence.....thinking he'd realize what day it was.)
Me: Um.....today's not Friday, nor Saturday....soooooo will you be expecting her later today?
Him: (starts chuckling) Today's not Friday, is it? Dang Thanksgiving is just messing me up today!
Me: (also chuckling) Nope, it's not, but it's messing me up also. 
I'm just so glad it wasn't me that messed up during the phone call.  I would have been totally mortified! 
-I've made it a goal to attend the temple, at least once a week.  So far, so good.  I love it! I feel a difference.  I've also loved reading the General Conference issue of the Ensign.  The talks mean so much more to me, now that I've had the time to study them.  
-Tomorrow's Thursday AND Thanksgiving! This is awesome!! My two favorite days in ONE! 
-I was texting with Mr. Red, today. I've missed him.  We haven't seen each other lately.  I miss people when I don't see them in real life.  He's one of those people.  His birthday was a couple weeks ago, this is what I gave him:

Cool right?! I mean, how awesome is it to have your very own bowling ball with your name already engraved in it?! Ok...random find though. My nephew, Sim, and I were 'thrifting' one day, and Sim randomly came across it!! So it was EVEN cooler that we RANDOMLY found this at a thrift store, with his unique name already engraved in it! Plus I love the color, it's about the same color as his eyes.  Anyways, I'm glad I'll get to see Mr. Red this Sunday, it's been more than a month since I've last seen him.   :(
-Life is pretty good. I'm glad to be living life a little more than I haven't been.
-I love this place! I can't get enough of it!:

....and maybe I'm jumping the gun and cursing myself, but I think I might enjoy Christmas this year. I was listening to Christmas music as I drove to work this morning.  Quite a shocker, since I hate Christmas and don't like listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Oh man... we shall see. 

Thanksgiving at the Beach!

I made some of Mama McK's cinnamon rolls for my ward's "Thanksgiving at the Beach" party, today.   I was pleased with them! Oh, I love Mama McK so much!! I think I feel a 'Gratitude List' post comin'....
Invited Berkeley and got to spend the day with him....

...at my ward party and then at the temple, waiting for his mom. So much fun!! I love Berkeley! 
While waiting for her, I took some pictures. These were my favorites! Oh I love the temple so much!

I had a wonderful time in the temple this evening. Came across ol' friends from my ol' temple shift. It was like a beautiful blessing from the Lord...a treat to come across kind, familiar faces. I love when He blesses me with those tender mercies.  
Today was one of those days that makes me TRULY love living in San Diego, having the friends I have and just being ALIVE!  Awesome, awesome day!! 

Friends, Work & Stuff.....

-Wow, what a cool, wonderful week....makes me feel a lil randi.....
-I can't believe it's Friday and I start work on Monday.  I'm stoked...and a lil nervous. But more stoked than nervous.  I'm especially giddy about my 2nd day at work! :) More on that later....
-I can't get enough of this blog. It makes me look forward to motherhood with anticipation and enthusiasm. She's so positive and uplifting about life, family and everything in between. LOVE IT!
-I got to hang with my ol' CV5 (ward) friends this week.  I truly love them and am grateful for their friendship.  They mean so much to me.
-Oh how I love cardigans!! I wish I had one in EVERY shade & color! Or at least dark purple and mustard yellow, to start off with....
-Tomorrow is my new ward's "Thanksgiving at the beach" in La Jolla. I'm kinda excited about it.  I'm thankful Berkeley said he'd go with me. It's nice to have a friend at this functions.  
-My sister comes home on Sunday. I'm glad. I love my sister and couldn't be more grateful to have her in my life.  (sidenote: she's actually my sister-in-law...well, to be technically correct, she's my ex-sister-in-law, but to me, she'll always be my sister). My hat goes off to her and all mothers, especially single parents. Parenting is a hard enough task, so to do it alone, that is quite a feat. She's blessed with children who love and appreciate her.  
-Hmmm.... I think that's all I have on my mind right now. Can I just say how STOKED I am for Monday! Wow, it'll be here before I know it! I'm so excited, I want to go put my outfit together! Geez, I sound like it's my first day of school or something.... anyways... Happy Weekend! :)

Gratitude List: Ras.

This is my friend, Ras. He'll be leaving in a week & a half for Brasil, for the next two years.  I feel like he just received his mission call, back in June and now November's already here and he's leaving.  I feel so sad... yet another friend who's leaving for a mission.
Ras & I were texting back and forth tonight.  Maybe it was because of the emotional part of the movie I was watching or because it's starting to hit me that he's leaving in 11 days, but I sent him a really heartfelt text. I expressed my deep appreciation of him and his friendship.  He responded with a similar text and I started to cry.  I'm really going to miss my friend. He's done a lot for me, these last several months. I use to just regard him as another guy in my YSA ward and my nephew's friend.  But then I got to know him, and there's a lot more than meets the eye.
He thinks of others before himself.  He helps out in any and every way possible.  He's dependable and loyal.  While I was Relief Society president, he was ALWAYS extremely helpful.  Ras has a heart of gold, one of the kindest and caring guys I could have in my life.  The night I tanked in singing at stake conference, he lifted my spirits and reassured me.  When I was upset over a nephew's engagement announcement on Facebook, he empathized with me.  We've had some serious chats and some light hearted ones too, but he's always the same Ras, to me.
I know others would be shocked to think that he's anything but the cynical, apathetic & callous person he comes off as.  There's SO much more to him.  I count my lucky stars (or at least the pretty silver one he gave me for my birthday) to be his friend.  I'm going to miss him, a lot. 

A Year of Hair.

Nov. 7, 2010

Once upon a time, I use to have looong curly hair.  I enjoyed it and it made me feel pretty...especially because so many people liked it, as well. Women were envious of my free flowing curls and men wanted to touch & "crunch it" (not kidding.)  This hair of mine use to be something I despised as a child because it wasn't like all the other girls.  I magically, and accidentally, discovered the beauty of gel & mousse, in my last week of high school.  After that, my hair turned into a blessing and not a curse.
This is a picture of me on Nov. 7, 2011 in Philadelphia, PA.
A month before my trip to Philadelphia, we were told that a woman in my ward (church congregation) had cancer, breast cancer to exact. In the month of October, we wore pretty pink ribbons at church to support this sister.   As a Relief Society, we even took homemade soup to her home. In speaking with her, I was touched by her amazing strength and courage.  She wasn't a "Debbie Downer" or "Negative Nancy" in the least bit.  She really affected me.  Knowing that she would lose her hair in a few weeks, I instantly wanted to shave my head. As Nash and I drove home, I  quietly and seriously contemplated shaving my head.  Sister L meant a lot to me.  We weren't the closest of friends, but she was my one time Stake Young Women's president, as well as Stake Choir Director.  She had touched my heart on several occasions.   A week after I arrived home from the east coast, I was talking to my friend CC about the crazy idea of shaving our heads to support Sister L.  CC mentioned that it would be cool if we got other people to join us. She would talk to Doc and I would ask Mr. Red. Doc was hesitant, which was lame because he already had super short hair so what would a few less centimeters of hair really do for him?!

Nov. 14, 2010

When I "asked" Mr. Red, I said,
"I think you should shave your head"
"Ok, I'll do it."
"Wow, really?"
"Yeah, but are you going to tell me why I'm shaving my head?"
and I explained and he was in, even more.  Oh that's why I love Mr. Red, he's such a team player!
CC and I discussed it on a Friday and planned to do it that following Monday after FHE. I was so pumped up on the idea I wanted to do it that very day!!  I couldn't find the clippers, so instead, I trimmed my hair...trimmed..cut... well it was a lot shorter:
I was LOVING this length! It was short, straight and way cute! For several months, I was debating on cutting it to this length but always hesitated. I figured I'd cut it since it was all coming off soon enough. It didn't help that I was starting to fall in love with my hair just as I was getting ready to shave it all off.  Oh well, it's only hair--it grows back.
To celebrate and soften the blow of losing our hair, we had "Shave Shindig".  It helped to shave it together and encourage each other... also, ice cream makes everything feel a lil nicer. Good idea, Mr. Red....

Nov. 15, 2010

So there we had it...we shaved our heads.  Well, some 3 of us buzzed our heads and 2 of us bic'd it, with a shaver.  They tried to talk me into it, but I wanted to enjoy it buzzed first.  I was the smart one of the bunch, I brought a beanie to wear afterwards, knowing that our newly shaved/buzzed heads would be extremely sensitive to the night air.  Even when I tried to fall asleep that night, for once, I did NOT enjoy a cold pillow, it was like ice!! I had to sleep with a beanie, for several weeks. In fact, I wore beanies all the time because my head was always cold and it was fall/winter.  Did I regret shaving my head? Not. At. All. I loved it. I was finally able to get ready faster and as crazy as it sounds, I felt more feminine.  I truly loved it. I think I felt more feminine because I had to put more effort into looking and feeling more like a lady.   Blush & mascara were my new BFF's.

December 1, 2010

I eventually shaved my head a few weeks later and man alive, it felt trippy! Just like when I shave my legs and the way the feel in my sheets at night..that's how my head felt. I guess that would be called, 'sensitive'.  My friend, FishLips started calling me "Haole Head". You can see why....

January 17, 2011

I did buzz my head again, on Martin Luther King day (Jan. 17). I heard Sister L's treatments were going to be for several more weeks.  I wanted to continue shaving my head til her treatments were over. However, some friends and their old wives tales spooked me into thinking my hair wouldn't grow back if I continually shaved it.  Funny, that only applied to my head and not my legs..?

February 2011

So I let it start growing.   I found out a cool way to hide any grey hairs at this stage is to color it with mascara! :) Nice, quick remedy!

March 2011

...and then it started growing enough that I could brush it! I was so happy! I quickly brushed it into a lil faux hawk!  This was after I had to go buy a brush, since I threw mine out after shaving my head.  The wide bristles wouldn't have helped anyways...

April 2011 w/ newborn BabyChelo

I had to trim it around my ears a bit because it was looking a lil scraggly.  If I wanted my hair to go down, I had to immediately wear a tight beanie as soon as I got out of the shower.  Secret #2.

May 2011

There will be a point in which all your hair is the same length. However, the back will appear longer because it's at the lowest point of your head. If you don't trim it, it'll look like a mullet.  So trim it! Trick #3.

July 2011: 

June 2011

Having thick, coarse, curly hair isn't all too great when your hair is short. It's just not pretty sometimes...now I was back to using hair products. Darn, I was loing the ease off 'wash & go' hair!

And then it just started growing and growing! At times I didn't know what to do with it... Gel it? Straighten it? Scarf it? No wonder why so many men just buzz their heads, it's so EASY to deal with!  

August 2011

September 2011

November 2011

October 2011

It's been fun watching it grow and learning how to handle it.  Would I recommend it? Maybe.  It's been nice knowing what I look like at all hair lengths.  The only thing I would recommend about hair: JUST OWN IT! I received SO MANY compliments about my hair/head/appearance and how well I rocked it/pulled it off.  Confidence is a BIG seller--in all things!  If I acted scared or regretful, people would have treated me as such.  I'm grateful for all that I experienced, learned and grew from in doing this act of love. I still love that sister dearly and I'm grateful for the friendship that came from it.

Talks, Bread & the New Ward.

Well...my talk was pretty good.  I was happy with it.  Speaking for 20 minutes is a lil daunting, but I think I did well.  I actually like speaking, it's fun...it's just everything that leads up to it, that makes me crazy/scared.  Not to be confused with 'psychotic', as in 'crazy & scared'....ah, you know what I mean.  Anyways, I did well and I was pleased. I'm so glad that I had a friend there in the congregation. It meant a lot to me.
I made Mama McK's bread today. I was so ecstatic! I've been wanting to make bread lately and I've been missing her....so it was a nice solution.  Dang, I'm starting to crave some now!! It was my first time making bread (from scratch, without a bread maker--by hand, baby!) and I'm pleased as punch that it came out well! My family loved it! I can't wait to try her Cinnamon rolls this weekend! :( Now I miss her even more!

I'm liking my ward more and more. (I think I say that every Monday, but it's true).  I like that I'm making friends with more people each time.  I went to FHE tonight, since we were going to be playing Volleyball. Had a GREAT time! I saw Favre on my way in, but I guess he was leaving as I was arriving.  Oh well....  However, I got to play with "Oeste" tonight.  Oh I think he is so cute! And he's funny!  I think what I like about Oeste is that he's not SUPER hot or gorgeous, not like what I'm use to....but his friendly, funny spirit is so attractive. I like that :)

What happened to "2 minutes" talks?

Duuuuuuude, this blows. I'm sick. My eyes are sensitive and they hurt, so I KNOW that I'm sick.  I keep thinking it's only a 'day cold', but it's 10pm and I still feel crappy.  I just wanna sleep. Like for a whole day.  Church starts at 11am,  choir practice is at 10am. Plus, I also have stake choir practice at 6pm and attendance is mandatory.  AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tithing.  That is the topic of my talk. Easy, right? But what do you say to a congregation full of: 
1. older single adults
2. lawyers
3. officers
4. doctors
5. accountants
Did I miss anyone else with Ph.D?
Who feels a lil intimidated? I do! 
I think the part that I'm having the hardest time with is that I have to speak for 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES!!!!  That's like a class lesson!!  DUDE!!! I'm not nervous, I'm scared my talk is going to come up short. The Bishopric member who extended the assignment said that if my talk was short, there's a 2nd speaker and the Bishopric can always fill the remainder of the time.  
Remember the good ol' days of being a youth? Reading an article from The New Era and you were done!
Oh man.......those were the days!

The 2am Post.

-Just got home from dropping off a birthday present...Happy Birthday Mr. Red!  

-I need to breathe and relax when certain moments become intensely heated and tumultuous.

-I feel like I keep running into a brick wall, regarding my talk for this Sunday...or in other words, for tomorrow.

-I think I may be getting sick.  I'm feeling all nasel-y.  I know that's not a word, but I'm having nose issues. I feel like I have to keep blowing my nose and my eyes are watering and sensitive.  My face feels warm and I feel like curling up in bed, for while.  Not good...considering...

-I. NEED. TO. FIGURE. OUT. SOMETHING. FOR. MY. TALK.!!!

-Hello Nyquil...........G'nite.

Thursday = Temple!

Last night was simply wonderful! I was in a beautiful place surrounded by dear friends....can it get any better than that?  It was a great session and I loved the silent peace that the temple offers.  

It was pleasing being their with ol' ward friends as well as new ward friends.  Several [new] ward members were there and it felt like a combining of worlds....old friends and new friends all in one place.  "Favre" was there and it was quite the surprise! He, as always, looked goooooood.  Man, he is so pleasant to look at.  He's in my new ward, but I know of him from my ol' stake.  Small world....

Anywhoo.... It was a very enjoyable evening.  I love to see the temple...especially with loved ones. 

p.s. And yes, sometimes temple trips end at In-N-Out :)

Gratitude List: Temples.

Tonight, my awesome friend Drey will be going to the temple for her first time. She's really excited, which makes all of us really ecstatic for her! I also love attending the temple with dear loved ones. I'm stoked that I get to go with my nephew, Sim, tonight.  

Today, I am grateful for LDS temples, especially the beautiful one we have here in San Diego. I LOVE IT!! I've loved it since I was a lil girl and read about its future construction in a newspaper article. I remember when it was being built, we would visit the site in anticipation & pure delight!  I remember participating in the open house and dedication of this exquisite edifice.  It is as beautiful inside as it is outside...actually, it's much much more beautiful inside.  I love going to the temple because I can feel peace.  How wonderful it is to feel pure peace, solitude and tranquility. I love the opportunity I have to serve those who have passed on before.  I wish I could live in the temple, away from all the worries and craziness of the world.  However, I'm glad I don't, it makes me appreciate the serenity of the temple so much more.  I love to see the temple!

Gratitude List: Friends.

I was blessed to hang out with Nash & her baby girl today. I love my dear friend Nash.  She is as sweet and humble as they come.  I am lucky to have such a kind friend like her.  I held and played with her baby girl for most of the afternoon and it was pure joy!  I love that lil girl so much!  I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with Nash today.  She's so hopeful and optimistic.  I love her dearly. 

I love my friend Hermanita and I miss her so much! She's serving her mission in the southwest and loving it! I can't wait til she comes home in about 6 months.  I miss her tons because she's just so awesome.  She thinks about others without hesitation.  She's the type of friend that would give you the shirt off her back .  She's thoughtful in so many ways.  I'm grateful to know her and lucky to have her as my friend.  






When I think of all of my close friends, the thing I love the most about them is that they have a giving heart.  They think of others before themselves.  I am grateful for their example.  They make me want to be a better person, a better friend and family member.  I feel blessed beyond measure for the friends that God has put into my life.  I love them all.

Gratitude List: Nov. 8

In Relief Society (the women's group at church) on Sunday, we learned more about "Gratitude."  One sister mentioned a 'gratitude list group' that she has amongst her friends. They email each other a list of the things they're grateful for.  I thought about doing that. We'll see. 

As I logged onto Blogger, I read one of my favorite blogs and started to think of the things that I'm grateful for.  

Today, I'm grateful for:

-My music lessons I have with Hermana R. As I was singing next to her, my heart swelled with love and thanksgiving for this kind & talented woman. I love her.  

-My car. I'm grateful to have a mode of transportation so that I can get to places with ease, comfort and [sometimes] on time.  

-My own set of scriptures, in my own language.  I have the freedom to read & study from them, to mark them and make notes in them.  I can rely on myself to learn the gospel.

-The Banana bread my sister made. Oh I love it! She makes it about once a year and it's such a delight to savor.

Something I found on a friend's Facebook:

Ever since I read came across it, it made me start to think twice about what I pray for. What happen if such a thing came true? The morning I read this, I thought, "Well then I'd wake up with nothing because I didn't pray last night. Dang that would suck!"
Makes you think twice about praying and what you're praying for, exactly. My prayers have become more earnest and heartfelt since then. Thank God, He deserves it. 

What makes a Monday morning even BETTER?

1. A GOOD laugh! As I was walking into Albertsons this morning, I tripped on a mat. My sister was busy reading something, but there was a man who witnessed it all and started to smile. I didn't fall, but I did stumble around for a bit. I couldn't help but laugh out loud! I looked completely foolish, and jokingly said, "I should have just waited in the car! Happy Monday to me!" I had huge grin on my face....as well as the man who was still watching me.

2. Bob Marley music! I usually listen to my iPod in the car, but had the radio on instead.  So glad! Bob Marley just makes life so much sweeter! How can you ever be in a bad mood after listening to his music?! Love him!

3. Service for others!  After dropping off my sister, nephew & niece, I came home and planned on just making breakfast for myself. Instead, I made a few more fried eggs, bacon and oatmeal for my parents. It felt good to serve. They do so much for me, it's good to give back.  

By golly, I think today's gonna be good day.... I can just feel it! :)

p.s. Things are getting better with my new singles ward. [Pacific Beach ward = PB] More people are remembering my name and opening up. I like that!  It helped that I joined ward choir last week.  However, I was asked by the music director to sing a duet for our Christmas program.  I didn't know, at the time of asking, that it was to be a duet...for Gesu Bambino.  I thought I knew the song...thank goodness for YouTube! OH MAN!!! And I'm singing the 1st Soprano part.  Pray for me.  I also got a Visiting Teaching route. I'm glad! ...and I was asked to speak next Sunday, on Tithing.  Alrighty... I think I'm officially in the ward now.  Mr. Red said he'd come with me, next Sunday.  Hmmm....

Hermana R & vocal lessons....

As I'm downloading music for my stake choir pieces, I can't help but think of my music teacher, Hermana R.  Words cannot express the deep gratitude I have for her.  I have been privileged to take private vocal lessons with her every week, since this past Spring.  At first, I use to be terribly nervous around her.  I mean, this woman has sung with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, teaches at Utah Valley University and trains the new incoming members for Mo.Tab....so in short, this woman is pretty LE-GIT! See why I would be intimidated, shy and nervous around her?! She KNOWS her stuff!! Even when I try to practice 5 minutes before my lessons, I can't hide the fact that I didn't practice that whole week before.
Over the last few months, since Mama McK was released from her mission, I grew to love Hermana R more because she was a constant & familiar person at Institute.  She's taught me SO much and I'm continually blown away by the magnitude of her knowledge, talent and patience.  It has a been a blessing and a heaven sent gift to receive these lessons.  Oh how I wish I could sing like her! I have also been fortunate to sing in two stake choirs that she's directed.  [In the spring, stake choir was in Spanish and it's funny how music knows no language barrier, we all understood what she meant when she spoke. The  choir was made up of Spanish & English speakers.]  She encourages me to try harder and push myself more in refining this God given talent.  She warms my heart with her loving reassurance.  I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent me this angel of music.

Lesson: Never Burn Bridges.

I don't remember the last time I was up this early (I started this post at 6am).  Not just up, but functioning.  I was able to find my lost resume online and now finished with it.  SO. DANG. GRATEFUL.  Also grateful that Word decided to cooperate with me. HUGE PLUS!!
So this past week I've had 4 job leads.  It's like the windows of heaven opened up and rained down on me. Two of them are with SD county, so I'll be testing for one of them tomorrow. The other two are with the church, one of which was a position I held before and LOVED!! It was seriously AWESOME! I loved what it was about, [all but one of] the people I worked with, the 2 mile proximity to my house, the hours, the benefits...it was just perfect!  The wicked awesome part of working with ChurchJob #1, it's a shoo-in for ChurchJob#2 (my old job).  ChurchJob#1 could either start in a week or in January---cross your fingers it's in a week! I want ChurchJob#2 so badly I can taste it. It's a miracle that the position is up for grabs, again.    
Yesterday, I called an old co-worker from ChurchJob#2 (who's still with the company).  We weren't really "co-workers" in the sense that we worked alongside each other every day, or every week.  She worked at a different location in southern California, in much higher position than mine.  She was my mentor and we got along very well.  When I left the company 5 years ago, she was sad to see me leave, but she understood the reason. [I could no longer work with a damn dishonest, deceiving, conniving, mean-spirited co-worker]. When I talked to her yesterday, I was pleased as punch that she remembered me!  I was nervous as heck, because I wasn't sure if she'd remember me or would help me out as a reference.  Not only would she help me out as a reference, but she said that she would put in a very good word with the manager and (hiring) field group manager--which also use to be co-worker of mine.  The awesome part of all of this is that she already put in a good word for me with my (hopefully) new manager, right after started he with the company. She told him, "it's unfortunate you never got to work the best clerk this company has ever had".  Needless to say, it was a VERY good phone call!  So glad I never burnt that bridge between her and I. 
I really truly hope I get that position again.  I've often kicked myself for walking out on that job.  I really don't have many regrets in life, but this has been my biggest one.  


(**update: I just found the CJ#2 manager on Facebook...damn, he's hot and single. Although some may see that as a good thing, I wish he wasn't...such a distraction!)

A foggy mind...

My mind feels cloudy...or foggy, whichever one is more difficult to see through.  

-I HATE doing my resume. I think it's right up there with traffic school & working on my car--I loathe those two things.  

-Yesterday, I felt like I was in total B! mode. My head was pounding due to the ash and burnt smell in the air.  I just felt like a crab and didn't want to be around anyone. I tried to sleep it off, but I think I woke up in a worst mood. I just stayed in my room, it's safer that way.  If ever I can avoid situations where I'm mean spirited and then having to apologize for it, then I do it.  

-I just need to shake this grey cloud that's over my head.  FAST! SOON!! 

-I'm starting to take a liking to my new ward. It's still not the same as CVYSA, but I can't keep that mentality. It's detrimental to liking and becoming part of this new ward.  I met more people this past Sunday.  I'm glad I joined ward choir, they're so nice and positive.  It's like instant friends.  I'm kinda looking forward to this Sunday, but this past Monday's FHE, I started to become introverted again. I got seriously shy. It just came on suddenly...I hope that doesn't happen on Sunday!

-I need to read something, soon.  I haven't read anything for the last 2 weeks and I feel stupid.  Ok, maybe that's extreme, but after coming off of reading 3 books, back-to-back, I NEED something to read, ASAP!!  What I need to do is contact my new sweet book hook up and start getting some books!!! 

-Ok that's all.......Happy Thursday!

Kuku & Tutu Aikau ♥

In honor of Dia de los Muertos....

Today is Dia de los Muertos. Before, I use to think it was weird because I thought it was a day to celebrate the dead.  It is exactly that, but I've come to see it as more than just thinking of the dead. It's thinking of those loved ones who have passed away. I like to think of it as cherishing the life they lived and the love we have for them.  Today I remember my Kuku & Tutu, my maternal grandfather & grandmother.  My Kuku passed away two months before my mission (2002).  He was a huge advocate of missionary work. Oft times I felt his presence with me on my mission. My Tutu passed away exactly 15 months after him (2003).  I was on my mission and it was one of the most difficult experiences I had to face alone. I am grateful for my testimony of the Atonement, which stemmed from that experience.
I miss my Kuku and Tutu.  They are the only grandparents I ever knew. (My paternal grandfather died long before I was born.  As for my paternal grandmother, she lived in Tonga. I only spoke to her once, since she didn't know English and I didn't speak Tongan.) I am grateful for their support in helping me learn the organ and giving me my violin.  I knew and felt of their love for me.  I wish I had a chance to know them, as an adult... to have them meet my [future] spouse and hold my children.  I look forward to the day I get to see them again. I love them with all of my heart ♥.

Stupid crazy Monday!

In short, today started out CRAZY--- (more on that some other day)
And then it ended quite nicely.
I went to my new ward's Halloween party, with my friend Berkeley. 

Then I had the awesome surprise of coming across an ol' friend from my old ward. I was so ecstatic to see a familiar face! It was comforting because I was suddenly shy when I showed up to the party.  It was a blessing to have two familiar friends around me. Thank you Heavenly Father for answering one of my many prayers today.