Dirty Pickles

Back in May, Sonny (wearing a hat, kneeling in front of me) was asking around Facebook if anyone would be interested in joining a Summer softball league.  I liked softball, or so I thought, and this would be good face time with him---COUNT ME IN!!!  As we started practicing, I soon realized that this wasn't the typical office softball team that I was use to.  This was completely different!  This was intense and Sonny was pretty serious about it.  As he should, since he was running the show....and because he's so athletic!  It was intimidating that he could throw the ball harder, faster and farther than most of us could bat the ball!  I told Sonny, early on, that all I really wanted to do was bat.  I knew I wouldn't be good at much else, since I didn't really know softball and heaven knows this body was not made for running.  Nonetheless, he was optimistic and enthusiastic for our season.  
Every Saturday that we had a game, my heart would be racing!  I was nervous as heck!!  And because I was so nervous, I was basically paralyzed with fear.  Luckily, Sonny had me play catcher, which wasn't such a big deal because most runs were stopped at 3rd base, where he was, or at 1st base.  I was in the clear!  
A few weeks into the season, I got so frustrated with myself, that at the end of the game, I just grabbed my stuff and headed to Tat's car.  I was in tears because I was just terrible at softball.  Over and over, I kept reminding myself of something I read on one of my favorite blogs: "Sometimes We Do Hard Things.", and that's exactly how I felt about softball.  I wanted to quit, but I didn't want to be a quitter!  And this season was going to be my "hard thing".  I was terrified of the ball, still kinda am.  Running wasn't my forte, so that meant I had to hit the ball far so I could at least make it to first base.  I won't lie.....I made more outs than I did points.  I wasn't great, plain and simple.  
I tried to talk Sonny into letting me quit, but he wouldn't hear it.  Instead he encouraged me to just do my best.  He was pretty positive, and I'm really thankful for that.  Had he been anything less, I think I would have just quit and tried not to talk to him again, due to embarrassment (wouldn't have helped, since we attend the same ward/congregation).  In our last game, this past Saturday, I just played to have fun and you know what, it was fun! I hit the ball farther than normal and actually scored a point.  As Tat (he's kneeling in front of me, towards my left) and I were walking away, I started to wish I would have just enjoyed the season more instead of worrying how terrible I played.  I didn't think I'd actually make it through the season, but I'm glad I stuck with it.  It makes me appreciate doing hard things, and knowing the good that can come with the feeling of accomplishment.    

As of late, in late August....

*Once upon a time, I thought I'd join a summer softball league because Sonny threw it out there on FB.  I quickly learned that it wasn't anything like I expected, and at times I seriously wanted to quit....and even tried.  Sonny was pretty positive and encouraged me to always do my best, since he thought I already was.  I never like quitting things, so I'm thankful for his reassurance.  I'm actually gonna miss my team, such fun & funny people! 

*I've been spending a lot more time with Mr. Red lately.  Man, I couldn't be more blessed to have him in my life.  Since my best friend has been in MIA, it's been nice having confidant I can share everything with.  We've been talking about how to better handle stress, since I tend to fail at it.  I know I need to be better at taking a step back, taking a deep breath, and analyze why I'm mad/stressed and what I'm going to do to deal with it.  We talked about a lot of different things and it was good to just clear my mind.  I've been so mentally exhausted, this past week.  It's been good to release all of that tension and learn to still release all of it. I'm learning and it's gonna be a process.  I haven't been doing such a good job at "releasing" and I've been filled with so much tension.  Stressed about so many different things has started to catch up to me and it's no wonder my Meniere's has been terrible lately.  I need to find an outlet, fast.  He's such a happy guy and the way he explains his happiness is definitely something worth trying.  I'm not saying that I'm not happy, it's just that I've been a lot more stressed and frustrated, lately.  That is not good!  Ugh.  It's a process and won't come overnight, but I'm hopeful for a good change to come about. 


*I had a date last Thursday evening.  I went to see Bourne Legacy with the Baker.  It was ok, both the movie and the date.  I'm still learning things about the Baker and vice versa.  I appreciate the way he communicates with me.  I know communication is very important in a relationship/friendship, but sometimes I tend to fail at that when feelings & a man are involved.   Sometimes, when I get frustrated, I don't know how to communicate my feelings properly.   Not all men read minds like Mr. Red (seriously, he can read me so perfectly that it scares/fascinates me), but I also shouldn't be comparing guys.  Anyways, Baker...I like him and he likes me.  We're doing this lil thing called, "dating" and I'm learning what that's all about....learning about him....learning about myself..... man, it's different.  I'm glad he's so patient because I tend to fail at that, he's willing to talk through a problem and find a solution and how he can be part of the solution.  I really like that.  Well, we'll see where this all goes..... so yep, I'm dating someone.  Wow, that thought still seems a lil foreign to me.  I guess it's because Baker & I have been friends since last year, but I never thought it'd really get to this point of "dating".  Oh well, I'll get use to it...  

G'nite.  Tomorrow my "plan" starts....wish me luck! 

The "October 6 Goal"...or basically, for life.

So my nephew, Kalanster and I have this master plan to lose weight.  Well, he's already fit, but he wants to be toned.  And I...well, I'm neither but need to be healthier and lose some weight!
As my mission president always said, "A goal not written down in merely a dream", and since I need to put these goals where I can see them often, I thought I'd post them here:

Plan to Lose Weight - Sunday, August 26, 2012

*Organize sleep pattern, at least 8 hours.

*Last meal to be eaten by 7:00pm.

*Stop drinking soda & increase water intake.
*Eat healthy quantities & eat right!

*Do 30minutes - 1 hour of Cardio exercise. 

*Stretch upon waking up and before bed.

*Meditate for at least 10 minutes.

*Limit all sugars & sweets.

*No drive thru fast foods.
*Sit ups & Push ups: 50/50

So there ya have it.  Man, I NEED to lose weight.  My incentive for losing weight is because PajamaPants is getting married on Oct.6th. With the amount of gay guys that will be there, I can't look shabby! Besides, I have other reasons :)  Alrighty, wish me luck.  

Like a good neighbor...

...State Farm is there.

I wish State Farm was my neighbor...my upstairs neighbor.

Several weeks ago, around 2am, I heard someone near my bedroom window loudly whispering, "Drea! Drea! Drea!" (my upstairs neighbor's name) This went on for a bit, then the friend started to tap her car horn.  I hit my blinds so I could let this person know that someone was annoyed by it.  Then it started back up again...

"DREA! (beep) DREAAAAA! (beep,beep) DREA!"

Was this chick serious?? Oh man, that started to piss me off.  Part of me wanted to go outside, but at the same time, it was dark & 2am, so I decided to just yell at her from my window.  She stopped, apologized, jumped in her car and then laid on her horn as she drove away.  

Oh man, I was pissed!!! 

*Question: Who the hell does that?!?!  

*Answer: The same person who did it this morning at 6am.  

I woke up hearing, "Drea! Shawn!" I recognized that voice.  I waited and then heard it again.  I immediately texted my sister saying that I wanted to go out there and give her a piece of my mind.  So I did.  She was in her car texting and I walked up and said, "What the hell are you thinking??!  Do you not realize that people are asleep???  Seriously annoying! Walk the hell up there and get your friend!"  [Yeah, I was pretty pissed because I woke up 2 hours earlier than necessary! AND it's just downright rude!]

She wasn't really looking at me, which kinda got me more mad, continued texting and said, "Yeah, I'm sorry.  The front door is chained and I can't get in.  And last time I was sick."

"I don't friggin' care!!!  Just stop already!! So damn rude!! I'll be telling the manager!!" (which I can, because it's my sister.)

I started to walk back into my place, but decided to go upstairs and wake up Drea.  If I'm awake, I sure as hell am gonna wake Drea up now!  I knocked hard on her door several times.  I didn't hear any type of movement.  I didn't want to wake up the neighbor across from her and everyone else because I know I don't enjoy being woken up so early, on a Saturday morning.  Before knocking for the last time, I loudly said, "HEY!! YOUR FRIEND'S TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF YOU AND WAKING EVERYONE ELSE UP!!!"

I went back to my place to TRY to fall back asleep, but I was too riled up!!  I needed this neighbor to know exactly how I felt.  So as the song says, "I'm gonna sit right down and write me a letter"...and address it to Drea:

When I got home from Softball, I marched right up there and taped it to her door.  Yeah, let's hope she gets the hint!  I did want to add a postscript that said, "P.S. Your loud & extremely vigorous sex at 3am is also very disturbing!", but I'll save that for the next note that I'm sure I'll have to leave soon enough.  

A Lunch Letter to Mr. Red.

Dear Mr. Red,
Thank you for suggesting we have lunch together.  I always love hanging out with you, with or without food involved.  I'm glad you know me so well...and forgive me for my shortcomings.  I'm glad you also believe me when I say that I REALLY tried hard to be on time. I'm also glad you also expect me to be late, but seriously, I left my place at 11:15am expecting to get there on time!!  Coronado's about 15 minutes away, so yes, I might have been a minute or two late.  I REALLY wasn't expecting a huge car accident on the freeway, especially when I KNEW I should have just driven up the strand to Coronado.  I figured I'd get away with driving 80mph on the freeway vs. 70mph on the strand.  Either way, I think the Universe has it out for me.....apparently, I'm NEVER suppose to be on time to ANYTHING we do together.  Thank you for ALWAYS forgiving me and loving me all the same.
After I parked 2.5 blocks away, I tried to hustle over, but not show up as a hot sweaty mess.  When I got to our table and saw the 3 other chairs in the sun, you melted my heart when you offered me the seat in the shade. At first, I was seriously bummed that I was gonna have to sit in the sun for the next hour.  Sitting in the noon sun, unless I'm at the beach, is never really my idea of fun. So yes, MAJOR BROWNIE POINTS for you, for totally offering up your cool shady seat to me without even blinking an eye.
I was a lil overwhelmed with all the choices of Burger Lounge. Well, there weren't that many choices, but I was a lil flustered.  Oh, you know me.  I still don't know why you paid for my meal.  I mean, I'm totally grateful, but I was ready to pay for my burger and lemonade. But I'm always so thankful for your generosity, on all levels.
I always enjoy our conversations, especially when it's accompanied with your laugh.  Oh your laugh makes my heart swell.  It just makes me smile and laugh even more.  I'm so thankful you never get mad or offended by the things I say, and even more thankful you "consider the source".
The burgers at Burger Lounge were pretty good, but I think I like our other spot in IB, Big Kahuna's.  Although, your Vanilla Shake was delicious!
Sometimes, you amaze me by the things you pick up on.  But then again, it's you and you're pretty awesome like that.  I'm so glad you're fluent in "Ehu".  I never really have to explain stuff to you and you always seem to know why I do and say the things I do.  If I could find a husband like that, my life would be pretty easy breezy.   Anyways, talking with you is one of my most favorite things to do with you.  I learn stuff from you and have a greater desire to learn more about everything.  I won't say that I'll read the Odyssey anytime soon, since I'm still trying to finish Les Miserables from last year. I just might end up watching the movies for both books. 
Well my friend, thanks as always for being friends with me in real life.  I enjoy spending time with you, more than you know....well actually, you do know, because it's you.  Can I also say how thankful I am that you're such a gentleman.  I appreciate your offer of walking me to my car, even though you were already running late getting back to base.  And lastly, thanks for taking a picture with me.  I like documenting happy times in my life, and come next April, I will cherish all the moments we've spent together. Being friends in real life, with you, makes me the happiest.   

Love always,
Ehu 

Silent Movie Night!

I LOVE Silent Movie Night in Balboa Park! It's a fun Summer activity and it's definitely a different type of movie-watching experience!

Tonight, we watched, Hot Water, from 1924!!  It was good! I loved it! It just made me think of how simple movies use to be....yet they were very entertaining.  I also love the fact that the organist played during the entire 59 minutes of the movie!!  What an awesome talent!!  It was such a fun night!  And I'm so glad that so many ward friends (& family) were able to make it!  It made the night much more fun!

I love any chance I get to hang out with my wonderful friend, PajamaPants!  He can make me laugh like no other!  I'm so blessed that we're still friends! I love him dearly!

Glad my niece and sister were able to experience the thrill of "Silent Movie Night" in Balboa Park! 

My new friend, WiseGuy came and I got him to do a Shake Face photo! Oh man, those are my favorite pics! WiseGuy's a fun guy.  We were playing "Where's My Perry" on his phone, while we waited for movie to start.  I felt like we were 10 year old kids just hangin out, without the awkward sexual tension.  I love it when a guy & girl can just be friends.  He's pretty cool!

All in all, it was fun! I made [Hawaiian] Chicken Long Rice and shared it with some of my friends (those who didn't bring something to eat).  Can I just say, I love cooking for others! I'm glad they all liked it!

Next up....
Lunch with Mr.Red tomorrow.  G'nite. 

Bub's Bday, Tijuana Temple & Peej's Wedding!

Last Sunday, was my nephew Bub's 20th birthday!! 20!!! Where has 20 years gone?!?! I'm so truly grateful for my nephew Bub.  In the family, he's one of my best friends.  I just love hanging out with him, it's always such a good time!!  We laugh a lot and our sense of humor is quite similar.  He's always had a special place in my heart since he was born.  He wasn't able to come home, right away, from the hospital and that was the first time I experienced such sadness.  I just wanted this broad chested baby to come home with his family.  I remember crying and not understanding all that was happening.  He came home a day later and it's been such a blessing ever since.  He is truly his name! In English, it's translated to "Love Never Ending" and it couldn't be more true.  It's impossible to ever be mad at him, for long.  Even if such a thing happens, he knows how to crack a joke and suddenly you're the best of friends, again.  As someone who can hold a grudge, this frustrates me when I'm steaming mad at him, because it all disappears a minute later.

He's a gentle giant (6'3) and befriends all.  He will be a blessing to all those he'll come across while he serves his 2 year LDS mission in the Philippines (that begins in about a week & a half)  Too soon :(  I will miss him tremendously. I already do, since he's been living in Utah for the last year and a half. I miss him whenever I can't find my glasses in the morning.  I could always count on him to come find them for me, after I gave up stumbling around, blindly.  He puts up with my [occasionally lame] jokes, and lets me lightly scratch the side of his stomach past the point of annoyance.  He also doesn't get too mad when I call him, "Bubbie" and is always up for a game of "500"/Rummy with me.  My heart is so full of love for this wonderful nephew of mine.  HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BUB!

This will be the Tijuana Mexico LDS temple!! 

As I've been typing this post, I've been watching the streaming of the groundbreaking.  I cannot even begin to describe the feelings in my heart.  Tears have been streaming down my face and clouding my eyes over and my t-shirt is wet from repeatedly wiping my face.  My heart is so full of love and gratitude that Heavenly Father has finally saw fit to bless the members in Tijuana, Mexico with their very own temple.  When I worked as an ordinance worker at the San Diego temple, the saints from Mexico would flood the temple on Saturday mornings.  They would come with joy in their hearts and a smile on their face.  Of course, most members are like that when they attend the temple, but I know the hardship of crossing the US/Mexico border....it is not fun and it is NOT short.  Sometimes, you can easily be in line for 2+ hours!   Yet they come, faithful and happy!  I think of all those saints that don't have the proper documentation to cross over, how blessed they will be to go to the temple in their own city and country.  

Right now, I live about 30 minutes away from the San Diego temple.  After mapping out this new temple, I am 18 minutes away!!  I will definitely be attending the temple a lot more in Tijuana!  Of course, I'll have to brush up on my Spanish, but I'm thankful for translation devices the temple offers.  I'm also excited for the food that will be served in their cafeteria.  Temple food is DELICIOUS, so I can only imagine what MEXICAN TEMPLE FOOD will be like!! ORALE! :) 

My very dear friend, PajamaPants will be marrying his fiance.  I'm excited for my friend to start his new life with his partner.  PajamaPants means the world to me and I am elated that he wants me to be a part of his celebration of love.  I will be there to support my friend and his happiness. However, I will not be there alone.....   I asked Mr. Red to be my date and I'm friggin ECSTATIC!!! Oh yes baby, I am!! I told PajamaPants that I don't know who's more excited for his wedding, him or me.  Just kiddin'....  Anyways, I'm stoked because I just LOVE LOVE LOVE hanging out with Mr. Red and PajamaPants.  They both came to church, last year on my birthday, because I asked them to.  Anyways, I'm stoked because I'll get to see Mr. Red dressed up, and smelling OH SO DAMN DELICIOUS!! Oh I LOOOOOOOOOOVE his cologne!! It'll be a "brown wedding" so there will be GOOD FOOD and GREAT MUSIC for dancing!! Oh yeah baby, this will be an AMAAAAAAAAAAZING night!!  Oh yes indeed!!

My Mom's in Hawaii right now, for a family reunion and to visit her sister who's recently had two strokes.  I've stayed back to take care of my Dad.  Man, is it a humbling experience, especially after my last post.  It's hard for me to hold feelings of resentment and bitterness towards him as I serve him.  He's blind and a diabetic, so I've got to cook all of his meals and makes sure they're nutritionally good for him.  It's not a burden, because I love to cook for others.  This is a good blessing for me to learn to serve him.  I cook for my parents often, but it's a lil different since my Dad & I haven't been getting along lately.  He's been really grateful for everything I've done for him since my Mom left. I just hope it helps our relationship.

Ok, with that said, I've gotta get breakfast started....

What a wonderful day it's been so far! How often does one get to watch a temple groundbreaking?  Spectacular!  

Hope.

In a very special blessing I received years ago, it mentioned a lot about Hope.  When I was 19 years old, I didn't really know how important "hope" could be to someone.  I just thought it was a good virtue to have.  In the last few years, I've come to understand what a blessing it can be.  Tonight, I feel like I'm holding on to the last remnants of hope....

Someday.... 

I hope my parents can love me half as much as they cherish my brothers.  

I hope they see me as Mama McK & all the other Moms who've "adopted" me, see me. 

I hope to forget all the hurtful things my Dad has said to me.  

I hope to move away from my parents and not feel any guilt for ditching them, like my brothers have.  

I hope to forgive and understand why my parents can't see the good in me.  

I hope to find someone special to love, again.

I hope to cherish and appreciate him and never take him for granted.

I hope to experience pregnancy and Motherhood.

I hope to have a family and home that's all my own, where love and respect abide. 

Someday....but for now, there's hope.
I NEED to have hope. 
Without it, there's no reason to smile and look for the good.
I don't want to be bitter and resentful, and the only way around that is...
HOPE.

Extraordinary? Absolutely!

This is my friend, Neffie.  

She was in town and it was such a delight to see her!  

Extraordinary Desserts, oh how we love you!

We'd love you more, if you had our Viking available!!!

 This is Neffie's seester, Wissa.  She is such a blast!

As you can obviously tell from the photo!

(we were mocking a friend and all of her FB/Myspace pic poses)