Vacation....from life!

Wouldn't that be nice to take a vacation from life? No really, think about it... to get away from it ALL and not have to worry about those things that weigh your mind, spirit and heart? That would be nice to pack away your belongings and just to get away--far, far, far away. Where would I go, if given the chance? I would fly to far away Tahiti. I imagine myself laying in the sun and feeling it's peaceful heat. I would lay on a white, sandy beach and listen to the waves break on the coarse Tahitian sand. I can just see the clear blue water and all the colorful fishes swimming amongst the coral reef. The gentle trade winds would carry the delicate aroma of Tiare flowers, while keeping me cool in the warm summer heat. Off in the distance would be a ripped, golden skin Tahitian Adonis sauntering towards me, ready to shower me in various gifts of Tahitian black pearl jewelry....

Wow--I need to stop or else I might be calling in sick tomorrow and bookin' a one way flight to Tahiti!

Migraine Monday.

One Upper: An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.

I have the unfortunate circumstance of working with a 'One Upper' ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I really cannot stand it anymore. Turtle's a nice guy, but since he shares the same office as Mamacita and I, we try not to talk around him or else we get his 2 cents and then some. Most days I can tolerate it, but today-maybe it's because we've had the last 3 days off-I can't bear it anymore!

If he's not 'one upping', then his mouth is going on and on and on and on about who knows what?! Sometimes Mamacita and I think he needs 24/7 attention. We try to ignore him, but that doesn't work. It'll be quiet while we're working then he'll start talking to himself in awe of some picture on his monitor...til one of us asks, "Are you talking to us?" To which he'll say, "Naw, but you gotta check out this [picture] (blah blah blah)" ...and then before we know it, we're hearing some random story about how he caught the biggest fish between his friends....BLAH BLAH BLAH!!

Today I've had it. I can't stand hearing his random stories which are distracting and have NOTHING to do with work. I'm too busy to hear about his gun stories, fish stories, boat stories, cowboy boot stories, hunting stories....stories I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN!!! Maybe his stories wouldn't be so bad if every other word wasn't foul language. I can only be nice, nod my head and smile for so long before I just HAVE to tell him to SHUT UP!!!

Sunday night ramblings...

*After 3 full days off, I don't want to go to work tomorrow...even if I do get to see Atticus. I feel like I've been on vacation. Speaking of which, I need a vacation. And I need to go visit my uncle who hasn't been doing so well. Plus I need some Pie. Hmm...Utah?

*I had the GREATEST Sunday nap today! Oh I LOVED it so!

*I got to see some great friends today. I seriously love the Cates family! And it was nice to see their brother in law Stanton (and the side of Rubi's face). I feel like my real life/blogging friends really do exist off of blogspot. It was nice.

*Last night's hangout/date/'whatever the heck it's called' with Morgan was fun. I enjoyed his company and the conversation was very pleasant. We had a lot to talk about and thankfully the conversation never died. We ended up watching "Sherlock Holmes" which was PERFECTLY fine with me, I wasn't too excited to watch "Avatar", yet. We'll see. Anywhoo....Morgan is truly an exceptional gentleman. Seriously, 'Chivalry' is his middle name, I forgot how WONDERFUL that is. However...it was a lil awkward when his Mom came up to me in church today. She greeted me with the BIGGEST hug and kiss EVER (I think it was bigger than when my Mom greeted me at the airport after my mission). Morgan's Mom was so thrilled to hear about last night, I think she could seriously start planning a wedding. I'm sure she means well...

*I was looking at my cousin's photos of their Disneyland trip on Christmas. I'M SO JEALOUS!!! I WANT TO GO TO DISNEYLAND!! Seriously, since my birthday I cannot stop thinking of how and when I'll get back! What the heck, I feel like this is crazy talk...but seriously, SO MUCH FUN!! AAHHHHHH!!!!

*I'll be going on 'hold' with the Temple for a month. This Meniere's crap is really kicking my trash. The break will be good, I'm looking foward to it. I think on one of my weekend's off I'm gonna try to make it up to Utah. My uncle hasn't been doing well and the doctors aren't giving him very long. It'll be nice to see him and all my cousins. I miss them, they're like my family away from home. I can't wait.

*My CRICUT EXPRESSION will be here this week!!! I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WAIT!!

I've been reading & watching everything I can on it because once I open that box, I'll be going to town baby!! FINALLY my scrapbooks are gonna look AWESOME!!! Will I leave the house? Probably just for scrapping supplies, but that's about it!!

*We got to talk to my missionary nephew on Christmas eve (Actually Christmas day in Fiji). Oh man, it was fantastic!! He sounded so stoked to be out doing the Lord's work. He was in the hospital for 5 days due to an intestine infection--NO BUENO!! He was excited to be out tracting the last couple of days. He'll be transfered to the capital (Suva) so he can be closer to medical care and the mission home. He's sad for the transfer but you could hardly tell in his voice. He's such a spectacular missionary! I love and miss him so much!! HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!

Thinking, thinking, thinking....

So Atticus... Still a really nice, intelligent and handsome guy, but... I think I may not be feeling 'it' anymore. I got to know him a lot more this past Saturday evening, but what I found out, I'm not really a fan of. I don't know.............we'll see. Thank goodness I still have Mr.NY to make work so much more worthwhile.

And I'll be going out with a friend this Saturday. He's EXTREMELY nice, like 'caring' nice. The funny part is, is that I use to have a crush on him when I was 10 years old. Morgan's a little bit older than me but we're just hanging out and going to the movies. We're gonna see "Avatar", wasn't planning on ever watchng this...so I'll just hope for the best.

I'm stoked for tomorrow night! My missionary nephew will be calling home from Fiji. He's been in the hospital for a lower intestine infection, so it'll be really good to hear his voice and feel his spirit. I love my nephews all so much....and my niece too. She and I will be going to see Disney's Christmas Carol tonight. Sometimes I forget how AWESOME they are until I see them around non-relatives. They're funny, well mannered and well rounded kids. They're not shy and can actually have conversations with adults. I have been blessed beyond measure to have them in my life. I love being their aunt.

Crazy Christmas parties!

Gotta say, my work parties get pretty CRAAAAZY! I had a great time with some great friends! Got to hang with Atticus (center pic-left side) for a while and I LOVED it. I've missed that feeling of being so close to man and smelling his aroma. So fun ;) Danced a bit...enjoyed my Shirleys...and made some wonderful memories. Here's to Knox party 2009!

5 for Friday.

1. Sometimes 'Ignorance is Bliss". Sometimes. I've started to learn more about my Meniere's Disease. I know for sure that I would NEVER wish this upon my worst enemy. I feel like I have to be hopeful. I'm scared it could get worse then the constant 'whooshing' & 'ringing' in my ears. I've started to get dizzy and my balance is thrown off easily. I just found out that this 'disease' is commonly known for falling. It scares me, a lot. It's already happen before and luckily I was home. I don't know what my future looks like with this disease. I've got an MRI scheduled in a couple weeks and I hope and pray that relief is in the near future. Starting next month, I'll be on a break from the temple. I love the temple, but I need my health to be better. I'll miss the sisters, all of whom I love dearly. It's sometimes hard for me to function in the temple. With my current position, I need to be able to hear clearly--not my strongest asset right now. Plus, sometimes I've felt so dizzy where I feel like I'm about to fall/faint. We'll see how it works out.

2. I got to see Atticus today. Just for a little bit. He looked so dang cute. I REALLY hope he goes to the Christmas work party tomorrow.

3. Can I just say, there is something fascinating about dry cleaning. Weird, I know. But that's the truth. I was so excited to get my dry cleaning back tonight for my work Christmas party tomorrow evening. Picking up my dress from the dry cleaners made me feel like I was going to an important, fancy grown up party (still weird, I know...just stick with me on this.) When the dry cleaning lady brought my dress to the front, there was a line of women behind me. My [birthday] dress looked so spectacular! I felt so proud that such a beautiful garment was mine! I walked out of the dry cleaners so elated and excited to wear my special dress! I LOVE the way I feel and look in this dress! I can't wait to put it on!

4. I was so irritated at work today. My work partner and I were in charge of the office potluck. We put up a sign up sheet last Thursday--the day before payday. 5 out of 30 people signed up. It was really disappointing! About 10 brought food...yet those who typically don't bring ANYTHING were the first to grab a plate of food! I was so mad!! 10 minutes into the potluck most of the food was gone and I even brought something! I was livid! I took back my 'White Elephant' gift, stormed out of the office and left for lunch!! I'm done with office potlucks! Office potlucks = free lunch for everyone else.

5. Tomorrow night is my work Christmas party at the Gaslamp Marriot! I'm so stoked!! I can't wait!! I get to hang out with one of my dearest friends, PajamaPants. He ALWAYS makes any situation BETTER and A LOT more FUN!! I seriously hope Atticus goes. He hasn't been feeling well, but he's already told a friend about it so he doesn't want to back out. I'm so dang excited, I cannot wait!! And then there's the after party at Altitude Sky Lounge. OH BABY, ALWAYS SUCH FUN TIMES!!! I can't wait!!!

Thursday Eve!

I would LOVELOVELOVE some deep pink roses♥

Today was a wonderful day! I got to see and hang with Atticus for a while today. I really enjoy talking to him. I got to know him a little more and that was nice. I like looking at his face. I love his eyes! I love his manly smell, everything manly about him is so euphoric.

Gosh, I REALLY like Atticus. Does he like me as well? I mean, most signs point to "possibly!". I just want a definite answer. I'm at the scary point of 'sink or swim', I've gotta do something about it or just forget it. My best friends say that I need to make it known to him a lil more that I'm digging him, in order to find out his answer.(I get so shy around him, who knows what he thinks I'm thinking) We'll see...

Today was such a GRRREAT day and tomorrow's Thursday,it most certainly will be a fantastic day!

Frosty says...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Man! If only I did Christmas cards this year, this would have TOTALLY been my Christmas pic!

I love pinatas...they give candy and double as a fashion accessory. LOVE IT!

(I feel like my head's stuck in a big Hostess SnoBall...I can't stop laughing at this pic!)

Good Morning Mr. Finch

"I was running late for work..."

Today was a dang fantastic day! I've been happy all day...I've been looking forward to going to work today since I left work on Friday. CRAZY--I know!

This morning, when I walked into my office [late], Atticus was there. He was waiting in my office at my desk. I was SOOOOOOOO nervous!! He's so cute! And his eyes....they seem to penetrate down to my very soul! They're this piercing crystal blue--so intense! His eyes are extremely alluring. I couldn't bring myself to speak to him. I get so weak in the knees and tongue tied. I feel so intimidated by him. He's older and taller than me and for crying out loud, he's a lawyer! Working for an attorney service for the past year, I started to have the desire to date a lawyer. I figured they were intelligent, sharp & quick witted-I wanted that! I feel as though Heavenly Father has blessed me with my desire and now I have no idea what to do with it?!

Anywhooo, so I clammed up and pretty much kept to myself. STUPID, I KNOW!! He later left to court and we ended up emailing back and forth for the rest of the day...which was nice. I just get so dang nervous when I'm around a guy I dig. Ugh...thank goodness I get another chance tomorrow. *sigh*

"And I thought, be still my heart. This could be a brand new start..." (Postal Service)

"Greater blessings and more happiness..."

Tender Mercy #3: Last night in my email to my missionary nephew, I told him that once he gets back from his mission he will think about his mission every day of his life. I remember hearing those same words and thinking that was totally insane! "Everyday? Really? Nah, I'll be too busy living life!". Oh how I was so wrong! That couldn't have been any more real or true had it hit me in the face! Every day something comes up in my day which will remind me of my mission. I love those little moments of nostalgia.

Tonight the sister missionaries from my ward came over. It was a very pleasant visit! I really enjoyed getting to know them and getting to talk about missions.I'm glad they came over, they brought a wonderful warm spirit to our home. I'm so glad I served a mission. I'm grateful I served in the New Jersey Cherry Hill LDS Mission.

I love ALL of the memories I came home with. I miss everyone I met there. The sister missionaries mentioned how they were caught in the rain the other day and had the biggest smiles on their faces as they walked home. I remember that happening to me once, that was such a FUN experience! I would do just about anything to be walking in that same rainstorm with 'Sister C', without any umbrellas while trying to keep our Book of Mormons dry. I loved it!

I thought about all my old companions tonight and how I learned something from all of them. Some of them I enjoyed more than others, but I know there was a reason I was with all of them. I'm grateful to be close friends with some of them today. I wouldn't change ANYTHING about my mission. I am eternally grateful I had the opportunity to serve my Heavenly Father and the people of New Jersey. As trite as it sounds, I would do it again in a heartbeat! Sign me up!

Four.

Today I received my 4th calling at church.

I remember thinking back during the summer how I wanted to transfer back to my family ward so I could get a break from my 2 callings in my YSA ward.

I transfered back....but didn't do so well on the "take a break" part.

But it's okay. I wanted this fourth calling. I didn't feel like I was being used for something more useful. Of course it's good to be the ward organist, and I like having my Relief Society pianist calling. However, I felt like the pianist calling was a scapegoat out of Primary. It is but it isn't. I wasn't use to the Primary's volume level in a ward, but I also needed to be in RS to help support a less active friend who's coming back to church. When I went in for my tithing settlement this past Tuesday, I was extended the calling of 12/13 year old Sunday School teacher. FINALLY! Another call to teach! I missed teaching, so I'm stoked for this new calling. I can't wait!

Thanks Google.

Me likey....A LOT.

It's Aloha Friday!

It's raining today and I probably look like a wet dog. Didn't quite do my hair, it's just in a ponytail. I haven't done my laundry, so it's a wonder my clothes even match.

But today, I'm happy.

I got to hang with Atticus for a little bit today. It's like a lil ray of sunshine on this very grey day.

I like his eyes. They're so intense. They're crystal clear blue. I was so nervous. I couldn't even form a sentence. I was so quiet. I usually become introverted when I'm nervous around a guy. I like when he speaks to people, he focuses in on them as though they're the most important person in the world. Gosh he was so cute all bundled up. I just wanted to hug him. I can't wait to see him next week.

Happy Friday? Yes, yes it is.

Hi Thursday, I love you.

"December Nights"...SO MUCH FUN!

Calgon, take me away!

• I've been wanting and trying to blog my 'tender mercies' but a lot has been on my mind.
• I'm tired of the stress and negativity of work. I'm tired of people thinking that all 'new hires' should hit the ground running and know EXACTLY how to do their job. I feel bad for one of the new hires here at work.
• I'm tired of feeling alone at the temple. Why can't there be any cool, calm & collective YSA guys on my shift? I really miss my friend Berkeley.
• I'm tired of people asking me for rides. Gas is expensive people!! I have my own time schedule, so I don't like others being on my schedule, or vice versa. Just cause I'm driving south doesn't mean that I'm obligated to give you a ride, nor do I have to answer you as to why I won't be giving you a ride.
• I'm tired of so many (pretty much, ALL) of my co-workers using the Lord's name in vain & cussing up a storm. Really people? Is your vocabulary that poor that you need expletives to enhance it? Do yourself a favor, buy a dictionary & thesaurus.
• I'm tired of people thinking they can 'jokingly' hit/slap/pinch me--really, that's the worse. I've always gotten that because I'm taller than most of my friends. A lot of 'girly girls' like to hit, I LOATHE that so much. I've started to hit/slap/pinch them back. Golden rule, people! Plus having this whole "Meniere's Syndrome", being hit/pushed while I'm walking really throws me off and makes me dizzy.
• Calgon, take me away!

SNL Weekend Update...minus the SNL part.

Friday night I went to "December Nights" at Balboa Park. OH SO MUCH FUN!!! I had TONS of fun with my 5 dear friends. With the amount of fun we had, we consumed double the amount in food!!

What we ate:

-Hungarian Sausages w/ sauerkraut

-Puerto Rican Empanadas (pastillos)

-Lebanese Baklava

-Irish stew

-Indian stew

-Filipino Lumpia

-Czech/Slovenia Sausages w/ sauerkraut

It was ALLLLLLL SO DELICIOUS!! We also watched some Chinese, Peruvian & Polish dancers. Such a wonderful international evening!!

Saturday's Temple day wasn't the best one. I really needed my friend Berkeley. Oh well, I guess there's always next week.

Sunday...well, it was definitely better than Saturday. I love the First Presidency's Christmas Devotionals! I love Pres. Monson. I love to hear him speak, I always feel the Spirit and have a greater desire to be a better person. I also love to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, especially when they sing, "Silent Night".

Can't wait to go to work tomorrow! (WOW! NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER SAY THAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!) Thank goodness for Atticus :)

Pssst, it's Thursday! :)

I finally got the results back from my hearing test regarding the 'whooshing' in my ear. I've been diagnosed with "Meniere's Disease". I'm glad to finally have a solution as to what's going on with my ear & hearing. It's a lil scary because the solutions aren't 100% and there's a possibility that it could get worse (ie: a lot more dizziness & hearing loss). I'm scheduled to have an MRI to look at my skull to see if anything else is going on, which also makes me a lil more nervous. I'm not too excited to lay still in a coffin like structure...UGH. Oh well, if this will improve my health then I've gotta do it.

I like my job. I've been enjoying it A LOT more lately. "Atticus" makes it a lot more tolerable and he brings a smile to my face during the day. Oh it's so nice to have something...er, someone to look forward to when it comes to work. :) I can't wait til the Christmas party!!

No 'Plain Janes' here!

Tender Mercy #2

I'd like to thank my friend Jane for this great idea of "Tender Mercies" blogs. They've been such a joy to read and has really made me think about my own 'tender mercies'. So to start of the series of 'Tender Mercies' blogs, I'd like to dedicate the first one to my friend Jane.

I've known her for several years. I've ALWAYS admired her on so many levels. She's brilliant, kind, optimistic, funny, spiritual & sings really well! I've always wondered how she's still on the market when she's quite the catch!

I've looked (and still look) up to her because she was a temple ordinance worker. I never knew how a YSA could be an ordinance worker, I figured they must have to be PERFECT to be in such a position, to live worthy of a temple recommend EVERY day was a lil mind blowing. Really, it blew my mind to know a non-elderly temple worker. Plus she was the Gospel Essentials teacher for our YSA ward. Jane's a phenomenal teacher! Every class she's ever taught makes me want to be a better person--just being around her has the same effect.

After getting my temple recommend renewed last year, I was soon called to be a temple ordinance worker as well as a Gospel Essentials teacher. "ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?? YOU WANT ME?!?". "Becoming Jane" was soon more than just a film title. I was beyond myself! I couldn't believe it. I looked up to Jane in those positions and couldn't understand how I was to handle those responsibilities. She would help me out whenever I taught, she gave me the feedback I would need to better my teaching skills. Singing with her in ward choir was always a delight. She was positive and uplifting while learning such difficult songs.

I am truly grateful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with a friend like Jane. Although we no longer attend the same ward or live in the same state, I miss her dearly and still look up to her.

Thank you Jane for living your life in such a way that would inspire others to become better people, for being my friend and a magnificent example to me to follow.

Manic Monday, yes indeed!

Man, work was CRAZY today!! It felt like a Friday (which are actually busier & crazier than Mondays!!). Mamacita, my partner, had to leave for a few hours in the middle of the day. Right before she left, it was calm. Of course, it's always calm before the storm hits! Once she left, the phone would NOT stop ringing, every client wanted their court filings done within the half hour and chaos was so thick in the air! I didn't even have time to drink my smoothie or warm up my lunch til 3pm--an hour and a half before I was to leave. I couldn't wait to get out of there! C-R-A-Z-Y with a capital C!

However, it wasn't all terrible. There was some sunshine at work. I've definitely been enjoying work A LOT more since Wednesday. I forgot how much fun it is to flirt. I've certainly missed that in my life the last few months. I think I better go to sleep now, the sooner I do, the sooner I get to wake up and go to work :)

G'nite.

"Song Choice for 500, Alex"

I have this friend...

...who has an AMAZING singing voice.

Oh it's too beautiful for words!! I remember the first time I heard him sing on our mission, it was so heavenly! When he returned home from his mission 5 years ago, my best friend Bugs and I were blessed to hear him sing at his mission homecoming. While I lived up in Utah, he came to visit me and my friend StephyPooh. It was a lovely visit which ended with him singing us a Samoan song--which was more like a lullaby. I remember thinking that night, "Oh how I would LOVE to marry this man! He could sing me to sleep EVERY night!"

I don't know how to adequately describe his voice. It's like velvet, soft and gentle. It's tender and just so exquisite! It's like the voice of an angel. It is the voice of an angel. It's something similar to Aaron Neville with a little bit of Luther Vandross. It had been about 4 years since I was last blessed to hear him sing, I didn't think I'd ever get to hear him sing again. About 2 months ago, a friend was planning a musical fireside in which I insisted she ask my dear friend, Peej. He agreed to sing for it and I was once again blessed to hear his extraordinary voice. Even during the practice, it brought me to tears to hear him sing, "O Lord My Redeemer".

After that fireside, I told him that for Christmas I wanted him to sing for me, a song of my choice. I've reminded him of it since, but now Christmas is right around the corner. I NEED a song!!! Silent Night? Ave Maria? O Holy Night? It's like going to a chocolate shop and being allowed to only take one piece of chocolate. All of them are good, but how can you limit yourself? Oh well, whatever the song ends up being, it'll never be heard the same after he sings it. I can't wait!! This will be my most favorite gift this year.

That time already?!

I can't believe the Christmas season is upon us already. I'm not ready for it. It doesn't feel like the Christmas season when it still feels like Summer outside. I miss having a white Christmas, those were some of my favorite Christmases.

It's starting to look like Christmas around my office. In time, it'll start to look like it at home as well. I can't wait til next Friday! It'll be the annual 'Balboa Park December Nights'. Oh, it's one of my favorite Christmas activities! I've been able to enjoy it with my best friends the last couple of years. The food there is SOOOOOO DELICIOUS!! It's like an international smorgasbord of food and festivities! So much fun to partake in! I can't wait. I think after December Nights, it'll REALLY start to be Christmas for me!

photos from last year's December Nights:

top row: Liz, Eddie & I in front of the Organ Pavillion / Lumpia from the Philippines / Feeding Eddie cookies from Lebanon.

bottom row: the BEST Hungarian sausages EVER! / Lebanese Baklava / Pastelillos from Puerto Rico

2 things for Thanksgiving....

Tomorrow, I'll be spending Thanksgiving with just my parents.

That's never happened before, EVER.

It's very seldom that I eat any meal with JUST them.

My brother and his family went out of town, to his in-laws' for Thanksgiving. I'm actually a lil jealous. I love my bro's in-laws...but I LOOOOOOOOVE my bro's MotherInLaw's pies. They're FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!! ALL made from scratch and she even makes me a Butterscotch pie--she knows it's my favorite! Oh how I wish I was there!

2 things come to mind for this T h a n k s g i v i n g:

-I love the opportunity I have to enjoy Thanksgiving alone with my parents. I'm so excited to have the time to cook! It'll be a lot quieter, I'll miss the noise of having 5 additional family members around the dinner table. Like I said, it's very rare that I'm ever alone with just my parents. I think it'll definitely be a Thanksgiving to enjoy. I know I'll look back on this Thanksgiving and hold it's dear memory in my heart. I've truly been blessed with amazing loving parents.

-I'm so grateful for my sister-in-law and her family. My SIL has been married to my brother for 20 years, I've known her since I was 7 years old. She's been more like a sister than an "In-Law". I've never thought of her like that. She was my escort thru the temple when I went through for my Endowment. I love her family. They're beyond friendly, they're truly family. They've all welcomed me into their homes, even when my bro & SIL wasn't with me. I used to go over to my SIL's brother's house all the time and they'd feed me when I was a broke college student in Utah. My brother is blessed beyond measure to have such magnificent in-laws such as them. I hope I'm blessed as well, someday.

Please & Thank You.

Can I have this house please? Oh pretty pretty please?!?

I Wish...

...I could just create all day. Everyday!

That is seriously my dream come true--being free to create ALL day. I would be the happiest person, EVER!!

I wish I could photograph everything and anything. I love being behind the view finder of my camera. I still wish I had my own darkroom...and I guess a Mac with Photoshop's cool too, it's just not the same. I wish I could work in my own garden again and plant all types of seeds, bulbs & plants. I love working with my hands. After my flower bulbs grow I would want to create the most beautiful arrangements and give them away, I miss doing that. As for the fruits of my garden, I would love to give them away in a basket that I made myself. I wish I could play my piano & violin all day and then just listen to music the rest of the time. I love those random times in my week when I can sit at my piano and sing. I would love to sit down and write music & poetry. I wish I could just draw and paint...and create everything and anything with my hands. I would love that so much. I miss pottery. I also wish I could scrapbook all the time and create cards as well. At night I would love to sew and sew and sew! I wish I had the time to cook [from scratch] for my family and bake for others...oh how I love that so!

If I had the time, energy and means to create everything in my head, I'd be ecstatic! I'm so lucky to have a Mom who challenged me and encouraged my own creativity. I'm thankful she taught me how to cook, sew, sing like her, allowed me to take violin lessons and had an organ in the house so that I could teach myself how to play.I love the love I have to create. I love my art filled life!

Hello Mr. Thursday, nice to see you again!

You know what day it is.....THURSDAY!!

Oh how I love Thursdays!

I'm really happy today.
I don't know if it's because I secured a date for my Christmas [work] party?
Or because tomorrow night is my nephew's football playoffs?
Or the two new callings I'll be receiving on Sunday (ward organist & Relief Society pianst)?
Or the fact that I have money in the bank and have not received an "Overdraft withdrawl" email?
Or that my hair looks freakin' fantastic today?
Or because I got to talk to my good friend PajamaPants yesterday?
Or cause I have a job that I love and enjoy those that I work with...like Mr. NY who gives me something GORGEOUS to look at each day?
Or because it's a BEAUTIFUL Autumn day and I don't need to wear a sweater?
Or it's cause I have an AWESOME nephew who LOVES serving the Lord and the people of Fiji?

Well whatever the reason is, Life is good today!

Wednesday's Randomonium Symposium

*Ever since I went to Disneyland for my birthday, I have desperately wanted to get back!! I had such a FANTASTIC time! Seriously, you have no idea! There seems to be radio stations giving away a 4 pack of tix and I WANT THEM!!!

*I wish it was Thursday...or Friday. Oh why can't this week go by faster?!

*I'm thankful the courts are closed today! I love Furlow Wednesdays! It's like getting paid to come to work and do nothing :)

*I'll have to work on the day after Thanksgiving. Okay by me....I hate shopping, so another day of getting paid to come to work and kick it with friends! Niiiice!

*I'm not ready for Christmas---AT ALL!! This time last year I was already done Christmas shopping for 10 people!! UGH!! This is gonna bite, hard!

*I wish I'd either get sick or nothing at all....I feel like I've been 15% sick the last few days. I'd rather be 100% sick for 2-3 days then 15% sick for 2 weeks!

*New Jersey: I need to go soon! I miss it! I miss the members! I miss everything about it!!

*I feel bad that most of these 'Randomonium' lines have "I"....I feel self centered!

*Can I just say, I REALLY miss the feel of a man's face. Lemme explain...I miss being able to snuggle up to a man. I love that closeness that comes with trust & love.

*ok, that's about it.....I'm tired and could REALLY use a nap!

Can I just say....

......guys who can pull off the 'backwards hat' look are HOT!  

Also, guys who wear jeans, slippers/flip flops with a surfer shirt.....*drool*

Sorry...I'm a lil high on Estrogen after watching a very hot guy wearing all of the above walk by me as I was filling up gas.  Quite the distraction, but very welcomed!

"Poly of Love" at the Temple.

Yesterday, the temple just wasn't the same.  

I needed a friend, the same friend I've had the last couple of months.  I needed someone who would make the temple fun and seem less like 'work'.  Someone who understands what it's like being an older YSA return missionary.  Someone who could take the stress and 'work' away from what was a very stressful moment. Someone who's put a smile on my face and made me laugh during the toughest of times.   

My temple shift doesn't seem the same without my friend Berkeley.  It almost makes me sad to go to the temple now.  I feel alone, even though I'm surrounded by friends...it's not the same without him.  

Some may think that I have feelings for Berkley, those of a romantic sense.  I did at first, but I found more than just a 'crush', something deeper--a friend.  He is my friend, in the truest sense.  It is possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex.  It hurts my heart that he's not a part of our temple shift.  It was incredible having him around.  I never felt alone or obviously unmarried while at the temple.  Something I had been feeling for a while whenever I would visit the temple.  I miss his sense of humor.  We were always together, and when we weren't it felt like we would be in search of the other.   His Mom, amongst others, also noticed that we were always together.  I sincerely loved his company.  I missed it yesterday while I was in the cafeteria alone, without the hope of Berkeley soon joining me-as usual.  I forgot what that had felt like, it hasn't happened for a long time.  

Even though his stupid "Poly of Love" song would sorta get on my nerves, I miss it.  I would do just about anything to have him sitting next to me on the 2nd floor couch singing that darn song.  

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me with Berkeley, it's been a pleasure....please bless him to hurry up with his grad school stuff so he can come home to San Diego, the temple and me.  

[[Thursday]]

My love of Thursdays & I were on a lil hiatus...  til today.  I was FINALLY happy for it to be Thursday again, it was pleasant.  

I went over to my BFF, Bugs' house and had a lil scrapbookin' session.  For about 6 hours.  SO MUCH FUN!

I feel blessed, I really do.  A couple months ago, I was wonderin' how I was going to get out of a situation, a relationship-type of situation.  I had an 'out' several weeks ago, but I was weak and disregarded it.  I remember thinking a few days afterwards of how stupid I was, I had an 'out' but ignored it and let my happiness suffer.  If I could kick myself, I really would have--several times!    It was something my life desperately needed and my heart truly desired, but I had no idea how to go about in obtaining another 'out' without hurting the guy.  However, I feel like my Heavenly Father stepped in and blessed me with that perfect opportunity.  My favorite Book of Mormon scripture came to mind:

"And Ammon said: Yea, and he looketh down upon all the children of men; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning." {Alma 18:32}

My Heavenly Father knows me.  He knows what I need and when I need it. I'm so grateful He blesses me with the most perfect blessings.  I love Him dearly for it.  

"FWD:" emails can be funny, sometimes.....

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
3. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text or getting ready.
4. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
5. There is a great need for Sarcasm font.
6. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
9. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
10. Was learning cursive really necessary?
11. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
12. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
13. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.
14. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
15. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
16. Bad decisions make good stories.
17. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
18. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
19. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Best Friends & Blessings!

I feel like I've been blessed the last couple of days.  

This morning, as I was getting ready for church I started to think of all the blessings I've received in my life.  I feel as though I've been blessed beyond measure.  I love my nephews & niece.  I've been blessed with the best. 

I love my parents, heaven knows how deeply thankful I am for them this week.  Not just this week, but every week  since I was born.  They've ALWAYS got my back.  I'm truly blessed.  

I've got the world's greatest best friends.  No really, I do.  Sorry you may think your's are wonderful, but mine are AWESOME! (ok ok, maybe your's are awesome too, but if you met mine you'd think they were fantastic too)  I've been spending a lot of time with my best friend Bugs since Thursday.  Hanging out with her lately has felt like I was on a vacation.  As weird as that sounds, it truly has.  She helped me clear my head after feeling like my heart crumbled inside my chest this last week.  Friday night we went over to my cousin's house to do some scrapbooking with a friend and had a FANTASTIC night!  SO much fun! Then yesterday (Saturday) her husband took us out to lunch to Phil's BBQ....followed by some scrapbook shopping! SO MUCH FUN!  Later that night Bugs and I went to a wedding reception and hung out afterwards.  Being with her has helped remind me of what matters most, what I've always wanted and what I can achieve in this lifetime and eternity.  

Today I got to talk to one of my FAVORITE companions and best friend StephyPooh. Oh I love her so! It was such a refreshing phone call.  Man, I love her phone calls....constant belly aching laughing!!!  She taught me something new about marriage that I had never heard before, but man, it was VERY enlightening.  

I feel as though my Heavenly Father has blessed me with the very choicest of friends, especially best friends.  I couldn't be any happier.   I feel like I've been blessed 1001% this past week, in the Friend department.  Even though I had a rough week, I've been EXTREMELY blessed and happy since then. 

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow"

'Not so bad' Thursday...

Today started off HORRIBLY! It was RIDICULOUSLY HORRIBLE!! Then it got SADLY WORSE.  

BUT...

It ended on a very happy note and now I'm listening to Frank Sinatra.  

How much better can it get?

Can I just say how truly grateful I am for best friends?! No really, I've got the world's greatest best friend.  She's more like a sister.  She knows me so well.  She knows my heart and always wants the best for me.  Tonight she really cheered me up after showing up to her house in tears. I left feeling 500% better!!  I'm so extremely happy.  I could cry (good cry) I'm so happy.  She said EXACTLY what I needed to hear, not wanted-but NEEDED.  She reminded me of my worth and potential.  She reminded me of all the little things I had forgotten.  I lost focus of what I wanted in an eternal marriage and potential husband.  I can't settle, I know better...I deserve better.  

Man, I owe the most humble prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for another chance to find true happiness in love and to thank Him for giving me the BEST best friend EVER. 

Facebook status wisdom?

"Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change!"

Definitely makes me think a bit....

This is my day...

Today, I'm washing my hands.  I'm finished. I'm done being hurt, lied to and feeling sad.  I will not allow anyone to hurt me, anymore. I thought I could trust a dear, close friend whom I thought I had the deepest of feelings for.  Sadly, I was wrong.  Very wrong.

So to this friend, JBE, have a nice life.  Do NOT call me or contact me in anyway.  You say you love me, but you don't...let's just be honest here.  I've come to realize that you ALWAYS need attention from women.  It's as though you're a womanizer.   I do not trust you anymore.  I'm done thinking I was your "one and only".  I know you were for me, but it doesn't matter.

Today I'm washing my hands, once and for all....