Overcoming fears....little by little.

Last night, Hermanita and I went out to eat at Big Kahuna's.  It's a lil hot spot here in Imperial Beach that serves up some very juicy burgers! So good!! It definitely tastes as good as Island's Burgers, even a lil better!  While we were eating, she mentioned how much she missed Mr. Red and his laugh.  So being the kind friend that I am, I texted him to see if we could drop by.  He had some friends in town, but was more than happy to have us drop by.  This past weekend, his younger brother, Steele moved down from SLC, with his Great Dane, Duke.  Mr. Red prepared me weeks ago for another dog in his home.  I get very nervous & anxious around dogs.  I don't fear them anymore than not wanting to get dirty from them.  I didn't really grow up around dogs, but my teenage brothers had dogs that use to nip and jump on me as a toddler.  On my mission, I did my very best to get along with dogs, but they get me nervous...and I know that dogs can sense that, so I had to warm up to them rather quickly.
Well, Mr. Red got a dog about 2 months ago, and every time I go over to his place, he tries his best to help me get over my nervousness around his dog, Odysseus.  I'm trying, but maybe I don't progress as fast as others.  It doesn't help when a dog is excited, but luckily Odysseus is still a puppy and Mr. Red is teaching him not to jump on people.
Well, when Hermanita and I walked in, Mr. Red was on the floor playing with Ody and behind him was the BIGGEST dog I had EVER seen in my entire life!!!!!  HUGE!!!! I couldn't believe that someone would have this dog as a pet!! IT WAS LIKE A MINI-HORSE!!!! Oh man, my heart started racing!!! My breathing was shallow and faster, I was terrified....but I had to fake it since there were strangers around.   Oh, not to mention, there was a Boxer there too! Seriously, SO many dogs in one place!! I'm sure my face reflected exactly what I was feeling, as well as looking flushed with pure nervousness.  Mr. Red quickly reassured me that Duke was a gentle giant and wouldn't even bother with me.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he was GINORMOUS!!!!  Mr. Red was by my side as I stared at the dog, while he and Hermanita were catching up with each other.  Duke eventually made his way towards me and Mr. Red said that I should try to feed him.  He showed me how it was done, and then I took a turn at it.  Duke graciously ate the chicken from the palm of my hand and licked my hand a bit.  It tickled and my heartbeat slowed a bit.  I sat off to the side and continued watching this mini-horse/Great Dane, with eyes as big as saucers!  Steele, came and sat by me and also reassured me that Duke was a very lovable dog.  That was my first time meeting Steele and he was super nice to sit with me and convince me as to how nice Duke was.  I was slowly warming up to the idea and continued watching this giant dog that didn't bark once, and wasn't the slightest bit of annoyed by Steele's antics---messing with his face and roughhousing with him, to prove that Duke temperament would not change.  And it didn't.  Meanwhile, Mr Red kept hugging Duke and telling me that I should do likewise.  He was like a broken record and I tried to tell him that I would do it the next time I was there.  I don't know if he didn't believe it, (I was honestly telling the truth!) or wanted to help me get over my anxiety faster.  I don't like  the sound of broken records......and just wanted him to shut his trap! So I did it.....3 times.  And Duke didn't mind in the least bit.  He even rested his large head on my shoulder....and I started to melt :)

Duke, thank you for being very calm so that I could get use to you! 

I think I like you.

DAMN BUG!!!!!

Ever since I was a little kid, I have HATED, HAAAAAAAATED these:

Seriously, I would cringe and run the hell away.  I always felt like they were chasing me and I could never get away from them.  My family always called them, Japanese Beetles, but this is actually a Figeater Beetle. Whatever you wanna call them, I just can't stand them!!!!  

Yesterday, one of my worst fears came to life.....

I went to the Farmers Market in IB with two of my nephews and one of their girlfriends.  As we started to drive away, Bub's hands & arms started waving through the air.  I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Kalani scrunched up against his girlfriend, in the backseat, kicking and screaming.  

And then I heard it...

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

....that familiar, scary sound was back to haunt me! 

There we were, driving down Seacoast, screaming and waving our hands frantically trying to keep this dreaded beetle away from us.   I, however, had to keep my hands on the steering wheel, even though I wanted to close my eyes, scream and get the hell away from it  I was stuck behind the slowest cars in the entire universe and all I wanted to do was pull over and find this damn bug! At one point, it landed on the dashboard in front of me.  I was screaming and wincing in fear!  I was terrified that it was going to fly straight into my face and I'd lose control of the car.  I grabbed a magazine from my cup holder so Bub could hit it.  It started to fly around and headed towards my left ear.  I already pictured it flying in my hair and not being able to get it out.  Once I was able to safely pull over, we jumped out of that car like a bat outta hell!  No one could find it!  We were hoping that maybe it flew out of the sunroof.  We gave it a minute or two to rear its ugly head.....but nothing turned up.  Maybe in all of our commotion, it flew out. That what we could only hope! 

This morning, as I was driving to a funeral, I was about 5 minutes away from the church when I heard that all too familiar sound! I cringed in pure terror!  I was alone and had just put the magazine under the passenger seat.  I had nothing to defend myself!  [You may be laughing, but seriously, I HATE this insect with EVERY. FIBER. OF. MY. BEING.!!!] I turned around and saw it on the floor, in the backseat.  All I had was my purse so I put it on top of it. As I tried to turn the corner oh so slowly, my purse rolled off of it and I had no idea where it was!  I had chills down my spine and all the hairs on my arms were standing on edge!!!  My knuckles were white as I squeezed the steering wheel, paralyzed with fear!!  I was able to safely get to church, jump the hell out of my car and scoop it out with a piece of paper.  As soon as I threw it out, it started to fly back towards me!! Are you kidding me?!?!  Had it flown any closer, I would have killed it!  I didn't care anymore!!! STUPID BUG!

I was so shaken up and had to calm my nerves quickly, before walking into the church.  I had the willies and had to shake it out of my system. I'm glad I was late because I would have looked like I was on some sort of hallucinogens, to all those walking in.  Sick, sick I tell you!! I hate those damn bugs!!! I'm just so glad that it didn't rear its ugly head last night as I was driving around downtown!  I was probably driving for close to an hour last night and I know I would have surely crashed had it started flying around inside my car, last night.  Geeeez. I wish these damn things never made it on the ark!  

10 Day YOU Challenge: Eight

ocho: I'll never fulfill my dreams/goals, like attending BYU-Hawaii.
siete: I'll never get married and/or have kids.
seis: I'll die a long/painful death...in a plane crash.
cinco: I'll get in a bad car accident. 
cuatro: I won't get to see the world!
tres: [TMI] I'll never experience 'the love of my life' & an earth shattering orgasm. 
dos: I'll end up 'settling'.
uno: Roller coaster rides--NO thanks Six Flags!