To the rescue!

Today, I'm so thankful for my sweetheart.  I'm thankful that he's the kind, caring man that he is, that he wouldn't leave me stranded at work with a flat tire.  I told him that I would figure out a way to take care of my tire and get home.  Even though I would have found a friend to help me change my tire, he still came all the way to my work to help me out.  I'm grateful he came because after pulling everything out, I found out that my spare was a little flat. No bueno.  I wanted to try to change it myself, since my YSA bishop taught our Relief Society a couple years back.   Once Levi came, I broke the news to him that my spare was also flat and off we went to the gas station.  We came back and he changed it for me, then followed me home.  He was so calm and patient throughout it all, and especially as we drove 50 mph on the freeway.  

Every day I'm more grateful for him.  I always wanted to find a man that could do all the manly things that my Dad did.  For the last several years, I'd get so bummed/frustrated whenever I had a car problem.  Car problems are the bane of my existence.  Thankfully, I've had my sister but now that I live away from my family, I'm so truly grateful for this man of mine and his many, MANY talents.  My cup runneth o'er. <3 font="">

NYE!

*My youngest nephew, Kalanster, and his band performed at the House of Blues last night.  I was so proud of him.  I know he had a good time and they've come a long way.  Good for them!   

*Tonight's New Years Eve and my family & Levi are going out to dinner.  We're going to an ol' family fave.  It's pretty good Chinese food, but nothing like my beloved Wing Wah.

*Last night, on the way to Kalanster's gig, Levi & I were caught in the rain.  We were trying to locate Nicky Rottens, but ended up going to Panda Inn because of the rain AND it was A LOT closer.  I wouldn't have minded walking to find it, but barely getting over a cold and walking in the rain, doesn't make for a good combination.  I REALLY like Panda Inn.  Just walking in made me remember our Halloween date, when we ate there in our panda costumes.  Oh such a splendid evening, which makes me like Panda Inn more!  Besides, the food is SO good!! 

*I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty ecstatic to finally have my first NYE kiss at midnight.  It only took 32 years, but I'm excited.  

*Joz, my friend and previous Relief Society counselor-turned RS President, got her mission call to Florida.  I'm so excited for her.  I know that she will be a wonderful and uplifting missionary!! I will miss her greatly! 

*We went to watch Les Miserables.  I was a lil hesitant to see it because I had dreamed of finishing the book beforehand, but if its taken me a year and a half to try, I guess it would just be better to watch it.  Oh man, I wanted to cry.  Everything that Mr. Red had told me about it was true, it was beautiful...captivating and marvelous.  I loved it.  I wish there was more on the priest, because I loved reading about him, but Jean Valjean was magnificent.  I loved him.  All the songs make more sense and mean more now that I know the stories behind the songs.   I think the song I love the most is "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables".  When Marius sings it, you can just feel the loss and hurt in his voice--or maybe I can hear it more in the musical soundtrack.  I love that song, but I also love "Bring Him Home"!  So beautiful.  All in all, such a beautiful soundtrack! LOVE IT!!!!  I can't wait to finish the book now because I know there's so much to the story than what we saw in the movie.  

*Watching Les Mis made me miss Mr. Red.  I haven't seen him since my birthday and soon enough he'll be moving.  I miss our talks.  I miss hearing his enthusiasm for Les Mis.  Since Bugs has been extremely busy and I haven't seen her since summer, he's been the closest thing to a best friend.  I just miss having someone I can talk to about everything and anything, and knows my heart w/o any explanation.  I wish I knew what was going with Bugs.  Kinda sucks.  

*I'm excited for the new year.  I'm excited for a fresh start.  I've been thinking about a word/motto that I can focus on, for 2013.  There's some changes in my life that I need to make, things to improve and enrich my life.  I'm still deciding on my 'focus word', but whatever it is, I know it'll help better my {daily} life.  I'm optimistic on the good that this new year will bring.  

Nancys & Debbies.

Last night, as I was sitting around a picnic table with some of the women from my ward, I just couldn't handle listening to a couple of them.  They were just so negative.  They were negative about men, dating and themselves.  I felt for them because at times I get bummed about not having a date, sometimes.  However, this was entirely different.  One of them was just doggin' herself to no end...out loud!  Who does that?!?  I know I'm far from perfect, but it was just hurting my heart and killing my spirits.  I just couldn't stand it anymore and I was trying to be nice by listening, but at one point I just had to walk away (there were 3 other women there, so it wasn't entirely rude for me to walk away).  
I know I'm a "big girl", but man, I hope I don't identify with those "big girl" stereotypes.  I just looked at the other 3 women and they were just BITTER & CYNICAL.  As pretty as they were, their attitudes were very unattractive!  They were venting on how they've never been in a relationship and for one, she's never even been on a date.  I was in shock and then worry started to set in...

"Am I gonna end up bitter like these chicks who've been in this singles ward for years??" 

Seriously, I felt like a deer in headlights.  I don't want to be a Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer in a few years because I'm not dating.  Geez, friggin' scary.  I wish I could have slapped it out of them because it was exhausting to listen to.   At one point, one of the guys who sat down with us, stood up, shook his head and walked away.  I'm glad I have a couple (and when I say couple, I really do mean two) friends that I can talk to, in the ward.  I wanna try to like these women, but I can't stand their negativity.  I don't want to be around it when I'm at church function because I'm there to be happy and have a great time.  Besides, I don't want others thinking that I too am bitter because of someone else's venting session.  GRRRRRR.....women. 

Just the day I needed!

Today was just the Sunday I needed. 

I decided to go to my ol' YSA ward today because I didn't feel like driving 20 miles to church.  Sometimes that gets a little old.  Besides, I just wanted to feel the goodness of having dear friends nearby.  I got to see and hold BabyChleo, who's no longer a baby anymore :( She's so big and sadly, she's kinda forgotten me.  Major bummer! Yet another reason I miss going to CVYSA ward!  
I'm just so glad I was able to come across so many old friends that I love dearly.  They all mean so much to me and just seeing them all, and receiving so many smiles, hugs and warm greetings were tender mercies sent from above.  
The talks in Sacrament meeting were exactly what I needed to hear.  They were uplifting and made me ponder a lot about what I need to change in my life.  From one of the talks, I liked what he had to share...

*You can do whatever you want, as long as:

1. You have a plan.

2. You show your work.

3. You take responsibility.  

It's simple and I LOVE simplicity, but he applied that to all things in life.  Phenomenal! I love it!  I need to start living that way.  
Being amongst the Relief Society sisters was a joy! Oh how I miss serving in Relief Society!  I think I loved serving in that calling just as much as I loved being a missionary. My friend taught the lesson and gave a fantastic analogy for sharing the gospel.  
Afterwards, I hung out with some friends and it was just so good to be amongst friends....people who know me, who just get me and just all around like me.  Man, it was great!  I also received great news about going back to school in September. Oh man, it was out of the blue and I'm stoked for the opportunity!!!  
On the way home, I stopped in to visit with the Buzz family.  They're some of my favorite people and favorite kids!! Oh how I love them so!!  Just being around their kids, I feel GOOD.  Their home is filled with goodness and love.  I love spending time with them! They are truly heaven sent friends, to me and my family.  We sure love them, a lot. 
After my VERY crazy day yesterday, today couldn't have been better.  In the afternoon, I got to spend some alone time down at the Coronado Ferry Landing....so blissfully sweet.  Today was definitely filled with tender mercy moments, and I couldn't be more grateful. 

Deciding on a ward.

Since I choose not to watch General Conference, I miss out on my very favorite part [of church]---the music.

I have a great love for the music of my church. I especially love any chance I get to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I think they are a choir of angels.  I always think about how glorious Heaven will sound with generations of Mo.Tab. singing together.  Oh I love it!
During Conference weekend, my sister said that the choir's singing of, "Come Thou Fount" made her think of me....which made me think of my (home) stake choir.  I sure do love singing with the Chula Vista choir.  Some of my favorite people are found there.  Well, I went to LDS.org and checked out all of the April 2012 General Conference music.  My thoughts were turned again to my home stake and ward.  I'm so blessed to have dear friends in all of the wards. I love visiting each ward and seeing a cherished friend.....yes, even the Spanish wards. 
Since October, my membership has been in the PB Singles Ward in the San Diego North Stake....but my heart is still in the CV Stake.  As I was listening to the musical pieces, my home ward came to mind.  I feel torn in two.  Part of me wants to go to the PB ward because I like being amongst people who are also in the same place in life and it's soooooooooooooo quiet there during Sacrament meeting services. Heaven knows how much I LOVE that.  But the other part of me wants to attend my family ward.  It's A LOT closer to home (5 miles vs. 20 miles [one way]) which makes it a lot easier to be active, on more than just Sundays.  I have a lot to offer a ward, but I feel restraint when I live so far from it.  For the past two Sundays, I've attended my family ward and just feel the desire to have a calling there.  The ward needs help, no one likes to hold callings there and its always the same people doing it.  I miss the Young Women during Volleyball's off season, I love them so!  My Patriarchal Blessing specifically mentions accepting calls of service in Primary, because I "value and appreciate the children with your warm and loving heart."  It's true, I do love the Primary children and also their songs.  I want to be part of Relief Society again. I love to be amongst the sisters, I learn so much from their lives. 
Sometimes I feel like I'm forcing myself to attend the PB Ward, but I like the friends I've made there.  I feel like my heart is back in the CV Stake, but I don't know what to do.  Move back to Otay Mesa Ward, but attend all of the PB Ward activities?  UGH............so tough.  Moving back there will mean less chances to meet a single guy at church....well, not like I'm having much luck in that anyways. 
Guess this is something I'm going to need to ponder and pray about.

Love + Service = Charity

From my journal....
May 16, 2011 - 2AM  Monday Morning
I was called into the Bishop's office yesterday.  It was a very humbling experience.  He extended the call of Relief Society President to me.  I felt very small and humbled, as well as unworthy & inadequate.  I told the Bishop that I wanted to pray about it to get my own confirmation.  I can't believe it.  I am grateful for this opportunity to be an instrument in the Lord's hands, to be in the service of others & to be more charitable.  I hope to do my very best. 
-ESL

Yesterday I was released as my ward's Relief Society president.  Man, I didn't think I'd be as emotional as I was.  My heart was joyful for Joz, because I know that she will be an excellent president.  I know this because she's been an AMAZING first counselor.  When I was released, I felt empty, like the mantle was taken off of me...much like being released as a full-time missionary for the church.  To describe it, it's like a sigh of relief, but an immediate rush of sadness and longing for the right & responsibility again.  After I was released, the water works wouldn't stop flowing. Seriously, it was terrible AND I was playing organ too, so I was on the stand.  AYE!! I couldn't find my tissue anywhere and I tried to wipe my face on the inside of my sweater during the Sacrament prayers (gross, I know...).  Luckily, my friend (and chorister) went up to bear her testimony and brought back some tissue for me. And then Fast & Testimony meeting turned into an 'Ehu Tribute' time.  I was wholeheartedly touched...but I felt a lil bad for any visitors and those desiring a gospel uplift.  I decided that I should bear my testimony, because my heart was so full of appreciation for the Atonement (and the tissue box by the pulpit was a lot closer than walking up the chapel aisle and to the restroom).  I am thankful for the Atonement. I wouldn't have been allowed the experience of serving as the Relief Society president if I didn't fully partake of the blessings of the Atonement.  
 I have never put so much of my heart and soul into a calling.  I loved and enjoyed this calling far more than my mission and serving as a temple ordinance worker.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED those callings too!  The words of my mission call come to mind, "Greater blessings and more happiness than you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the Lord in this labor of love among His children".  That doesn't just apply to a mission call, I think that applies to all callings, when those calls of service are greatly pursued.  
I NEEDED this calling and didn't even know it.  A week before I was called, I was driving home thinking, "I need to do more service for others. I haven't been and I feel like my heart is black."  Then it happened...  In fact, I was going to leave church early that day due to not feeling well that weekend, but surprisingly all signs of illness disappeared during Sacrament meeting. When the call was extended, my immediate concern that I expressed to the Bishop was, "How am I going to love ALL the sisters?".  Then I remembered something I learned on my mission, "Serve them til you love them and then you'll love to serve them".  It's true!! I tried it!! I LOVED serving my fellow Relief Society sisters, with all of my heart, I LOVED IT!! 
It felt like the more I served and loved others, Heavenly Father quadrupled that and gave it back to me in the form of love, from so many. I have never felt so much love in my entire life than I did during these last several months.  My heart could burst from all the love that so many gave me in return, or just gave me-period! The windows of heaven were surely open to me and I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows each of us.  I will forever be thankful for the time I had to serve my fellow sisters. I have a greater love for each them.  Several of them have become dear close friends, friendships that I will forever cherish.  I hope Heavenly Father knows how grateful I am for everything, most especially this last chapter of my life.  My cup runneth over....  ♥ ♥ ♥

The day before....

<--- I just fell in love with The Killers even more.

I have so much on my mind. I feel like I have so much to do before tomorrow.  

But tomorrow's going to be a different type of church experience.  I haven't felt this feeling since the last residential block that we tracted, as a Mormon missionary.  I feel like I have this anxiousness and nervousness to get so much more done before I'm released as Relief Society President.  I want to go visit all the sisters that I can today! I want to set in order EVERYTHING before it's handed off to the next president. I already know who it's going to be and I have all the faith in the world in her.  I know her personally and I know that she will be a far better president that I could have ever been. In all honesty, I think I rocked as president but I KNOW that she will excel far beyond my capacity.  I love her dearly and I know she loves the sisters dearly, as well.  

Hmmm... so I do have a lot to do today.  Dang, and I get to see some of my funniest friends tonight. I'm stoked!

A 2am Quickie.....just how I like 'em.

SO. MUCH. ON. MY. MIND.!!!

-My talk: I haven't really started it.  I don't like writing down talks word for word anymore.  I'm an RM, I shouldn't have to.  Besides, my topic is fairly easy.  I'm not nervous, but I feel a lil unprepared.   The part that makes me nervous is because this is a topic that Mr. Red and I have gone back and forth on.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm fascinated and intimidated by Mr. Red's intelligence.  If all else, I can bear testimony of what I know to be true--that is something that no one can dispute.

-It's 2am. I need to wake up in about 5.5 hours and I still need to shower from after Volleyball.

-My hair's getting long!! :) :) :) I love it!!

-I spent the evening with Mr. Red, a couple nights ago.  It was enjoyable, as always, and he made dinner--unexpected.  We talked and it was lovely, most especially since he had classical & opera music playing in the background. Oh I LOVED LOVED LOVED that!!  Such a splendid evening of stimulating conversation!  

-Sim & I are going to the temple tomorrow (aka: 6.5 hours from now).  I'm so stoked! I love spending time with Sim! He's more like my 21 year old kid brother than my nephew.

-I have a headache.

-I wish I knew how to de-clutter my room. I mean, it's clean...ok, I mean, it's on it's way to being clean. I'm 75% done, but had to leave to go do Visiting Teaching. But seriously, I'm tired of the stuff I hold on to.  Sometimes I think it's so unnecessary to hold on to stuff for nostalgic reasons.  I'd love to get to the point of owning just enough stuff to fit in my car, that's it! That would be AWESOME!

-I've got a busy weekend ahead of me.  Temple tomorrow morning, then missionary farewell party at night, with a Mexican Independencia party afterwards til 11pm'ish.  Saturday; church cleaning, funeral for a Relief Society sister's stepdad, possibly squeeze in some time at the Pacific Islander Festival and then a stake service project, dinner & general Relief Society broadcast.  Sunday; my talk, more visiting teaching and stake choir practice.  Oh man....hello Monday!

-I'm lovin' Les Miserables!! Oh and I'm lovin' the music as well!!! The book is just so wonderful! I love the priest!

-I can't believe the end of my Relief Society calling is right around the corner. I'm sad, but happy.  Not happy that I'm leaving it, but happy to know that I did my very best! 

The Typical Friday, Sept. 2, 2011 Blog.

-I finished my 8 page (back and front) letter to Hermanita. Oh I miss her so much!! She'll be home in 11 months from her mission to New Mexico.  I cannot wait!! 
-I should be going over my Relief Society lesson for Sunday.  Why. Am. I. Lagging.??? 
-I also need to figure out the rest of the R.S. newsletter for the month.  Man, oh man!
-I wish the meat would defrost faster so I can make chili tonight.  HURRY HURRY!!
-Can I just say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE having my nephew Sim home?! Seriously, it's been SO MUCH fun having him around again. I missed his highly energetic vibe! I wish my other nephew, Bub was home as well. He's a good balance to Sim's fast paced energy.  I feel SO BLESSED to have the best nephews & niece ever!! 
-MAAAAAANNNNNN!!!! I just remembered, I need to do the Shepherding routes for Sunday as well.  DUDE! SO. MUCH. TO. DO.!!! How did I even forget!?!?
-My birthday's coming up!! I don't know what I want to do?! It's the same day as Sim's "homecoming", so I'll be sharing the day (nice! less pressure! :) )  I need a dress! Do I want to make a dress?? I did at first, but I'm gonna be busy! I need a birthday dress! 
-Especially since my birthday's on Sunday AND I'll be singing at church that day.  I am SOOOOO excited to be singing with Jozel, my first counselor.  She has an amazing voice and our range is very similar, so we blend SO WELL together!! I've been wanting to sing with her for a while.  It's like a birthday gift! 
-Man, I WANT my birthday to get here already....but at the same time, I want this month to go by so slowly.  I'm REALLY going to miss my YSA ward, especially the Relief Society sisters.  I feel like I've been spoiled these last few months. 
-I'm doing laundry on a Friday night.  Which always happened to be my "laundry day" anyways.  I'm not a big fan of going out on Friday nights.  Maybe I'm weird.  
-I CANNOT wait for the General Relief Society meeting at the end of this month.  I've always liked them, but this year, it'll mean so much more to me.
-I LOOOOOOOOOVE LOVE LOVE this blog!!! 
-But for now, we'll get through this weekend and enjoy the holiday.  I can't wait! 

Always grateful!

Sometimes I have moments when I feel like my heart is so full.  I feel so blessed and couldn't ask for anything more.  Tonight is one of those moments. 
I truly love my friends. I love them all.  I love those that I am BLESSED to attend church with.   They are my dearest friends.  I feel like Heavenly Father placed the choicest spirits and heaven sent angels in my path to make my life so much more and to befriend me.  I seriously feel so spoiled to have the greatest friends ever!! 
As I was talking with my dear friend Nash at FHE tonight, I could feel my heart bursting with love for her and all my friends around me.  I couldn't be anymore grateful! 
On the way home, my nephew Simi turned to me and said, "Thank you for accepting the call to be Relief Society president."  It was out of the blue, but it made me think back to when the call was extended to me and my change of heart towards the sisters in my ward.  My first worry, when the Bishop extended the call, was "How am I going to love all the sisters?".  The answer was something I learned on my mission, "Serve them til you love them and then you'll love to serve them."  It's true. I love each of the sisters in the ward.  They are beautiful, kind, intelligent, caring, funny, and loving women.  My heart bursts with love when I think of them.  I look forward to any moment I get to speak with them and get to know them.  I love them all and would do just about anything for them. It has been a true pleasure and blessing serving them and becoming better friends with them. 


Blessed beyond measure!

Today's Relief Society Activity!

We had a 'Workshops' activity for our ward's Relief Society sisters. The workshops were: *Baking Bread with Mama McK, *How to Change a Flat Tire, & *The BLESSINGS of Visiting Teaching.  

I think the activity turned out REALLY well!! I had a BLAST with the sisters from my ward!! I TRULY LOVE this calling of mine!! It's so fun getting to know the women at church. I'm so grateful for my Relief Society presidency! I can't wait to see all of them tomorrow! ♥

Consumption....and relaxation!

Oh man, I feel like I've been on the go for the last month. I feel like I've been busy--but not stressed busy, just extremely preoccupied.  I love it.  But I never realized how grateful I would be for some down time.  I cancelled my vocal class for today because I needed to do some catch up work with school and get that a lil more hunkered down and organized.  I was talking to Mama McK yesterday and she said that I could have Relief Society run my life, if I allow it. I think that's how people can get overwhelmed. I don't want to get to that point. I've pretty much done all the 'grunt' work in getting it to where I want it and where it is running smoothly.  Now I get to sit back a bit and enjoy the ride for, just a bit.  I don't want church to turn into 'work', I've had that happen with other callings. 

So now I get to focus back on school right now and get my grades back up where they should be.  I get to enjoy my niece & nephew out of school, and look forward to my missionary nephew's return home in less than 2 months!! LESS THAN 2 MONTHS!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?! I can't wait!! 

I got to hang out at the beach last night with a friend from church.  It was great getting to know more about her and her life.  It was cool just gettin' to chill at the beach and relax, because both of us needed it.  If anything this calling has brought, it has been the blessing of getting to know the sisters in my ward. It has been a very tremendous and beautiful blessing. It makes me love them even more.  I'm grateful that my memory has been sharpened because I need it with all that I have to retain and remember in the very moment.  I feel so blessed. 

Many blessings have come in the short month that I've had this calling. I love all the blessings.  I recognize Heavenly Father's hand in all the blessings I have received thus far.  

I have Institute class tonight.  I LOVE Institute.  I heard this quote last August and decided to take Pres. Monson up on his promise:  

“If you are a single college student, I ask you to make participation in institute a priority. Married students and other young adults are also welcome and encouraged to attend. Think of it. Friends will be made, the Spirit will be felt, and faith will be strengthened. I promise you that as you participate in institute and study the scriptures diligently, your power to avoid temptation and to receive direction of the Holy Ghost in all you do will be increased. Divine favor will attend those who humbly seek it. That is a promise which I leave with you” 

It's true!! It really works!! I've become friends with more people and strengthened old friendships. I've felt the Spirit and had a greater desire to study the scriptures.  It has helped.  I have a greater love and appreciation for the Scriptures and what it can do for my life.  I understand more than what I knew from last August.  This prophetic promise is true,  I've felt it. I've seen it. I know it.

Charity Never Faileth!

Can I just say, that I truly LOVE serving as a Relief Society president! It has seriously been such an AWESOME blessing!! I've tremendously ENJOYED this opportunity to love and serve the sisters in my ward.  I truly needed this calling.  I haven't been feeling like myself in the last several months. I've started to feel like I had a black heart, one that didn't like to serve or even the thought of it.  I think it had to do with the some private family matters that I've been dealing with the last 2 years.  It made me bitter and hard hearted....I didn't feel like myself.  I even started to feel annoyed if I was asked to play the piano at church.  I didn't grow up that way.  I was raised by my father's amazing example of service.  I didn't learn about service through words, it was by pure example.  My father taught me that "LDS" not only stood for "Latter-day Saint" but "LET'S DO SOMETHING" or "LET'S DO SERVICE".   I'm so grateful for this opportunity to serve. My biggest worry when I was extended this calling was, "How am I going to love ALL the sisters?".  Then I remembered something I learned on my mission, "Serve them until you love them and then you'll love to serve them." I LOVE getting to know the sisters.  They are such wonderful and beautiful sisters, inside and out!  

I always thought my mission would be my most favorite calling.  Then I was called to serve as an ordinance worker at the San Diego LDS temple, and soon that became my favorite calling.  I didn't think anything would top those two....but now I'm starting to think otherwise.♥