Saturday, July 28, 2012


Ever since I was a little kid, I have HATED, HAAAAAAAATED these:
Seriously, I would cringe and run the hell away.  I always felt like they were chasing me and I could never get away from them.  My family always called them, Japanese Beetles, but this is actually a Figeater Beetle. Whatever you wanna call them, I just can't stand them!!!!  

Yesterday, one of my worst fears came to life.....
I went to the Farmers Market in IB with two of my nephews and one of their girlfriends.  As we started to drive away, Bub's hands & arms started waving through the air.  I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Kalani scrunched up against his girlfriend, in the backseat, kicking and screaming.  
And then I heard it...
....that familiar, scary sound was back to haunt me! 
There we were, driving down Seacoast, screaming and waving our hands frantically trying to keep this dreaded beetle away from us.   I, however, had to keep my hands on the steering wheel, even though I wanted to close my eyes, scream and get the hell away from it  I was stuck behind the slowest cars in the entire universe and all I wanted to do was pull over and find this damn bug! At one point, it landed on the dashboard in front of me.  I was screaming and wincing in fear!  I was terrified that it was going to fly straight into my face and I'd lose control of the car.  I grabbed a magazine from my cup holder so Bub could hit it.  It started to fly around and headed towards my left ear.  I already pictured it flying in my hair and not being able to get it out.  Once I was able to safely pull over, we jumped out of that car like a bat outta hell!  No one could find it!  We were hoping that maybe it flew out of the sunroof.  We gave it a minute or two to rear its ugly head.....but nothing turned up.  Maybe in all of our commotion, it flew out. That what we could only hope! 

This morning, as I was driving to a funeral, I was about 5 minutes away from the church when I heard that all too familiar sound! I cringed in pure terror!  I was alone and had just put the magazine under the passenger seat.  I had nothing to defend myself!  [You may be laughing, but seriously, I HATE this insect with EVERY. FIBER. OF. MY. BEING.!!!] I turned around and saw it on the floor, in the backseat.  All I had was my purse so I put it on top of it. As I tried to turn the corner oh so slowly, my purse rolled off of it and I had no idea where it was!  I had chills down my spine and all the hairs on my arms were standing on edge!!!  My knuckles were white as I squeezed the steering wheel, paralyzed with fear!!  I was able to safely get to church, jump the hell out of my car and scoop it out with a piece of paper.  As soon as I threw it out, it started to fly back towards me!! Are you kidding me?!?!  Had it flown any closer, I would have killed it!  I didn't care anymore!!! STUPID BUG!

I was so shaken up and had to calm my nerves quickly, before walking into the church.  I had the willies and had to shake it out of my system. I'm glad I was late because I would have looked like I was on some sort of hallucinogens, to all those walking in.  Sick, sick I tell you!! I hate those damn bugs!!! I'm just so glad that it didn't rear its ugly head last night as I was driving around downtown!  I was probably driving for close to an hour last night and I know I would have surely crashed had it started flying around inside my car, last night.  Geeeez. I wish these damn things never made it on the ark!  

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