Because it's Wednesday....

*Man, this song that I chose is rather hard. There are some difficult parts. I feel like I'm learning how to read music for the first time. I'm SO grateful for such an AWESOME accompanist who is patient and beyond helpful!

*Sleep is so detrimental to your health...mental, physical, emotional. I didn't know how badly I've missed it lately. I almost wanted to bite my own head off.

*I hate gossip. I dislike people who think they know you well enough to gossip about you. LAME!!

And with that said....Happy Wednesday!

Humbled.

Yesterday at church, I was asked to sing a special musical number for this next Sunday's "Ward Conference". It was a total surprise!!

Actually more like a 'shock'.

I feel so touched to be asked to do such a thing. About a year ago, I wanted to give up on music because of my Meniere's Disease. It was such a difficult thing to do with the constant "whooshing" in my left ear. It was hard to hear the note in order to sing and at times, to play the piano as well. I didn't want to lose this musical talent that I feel so tremendously blessed to have.

But now, I also feel very humbled....

Last month, I could not get over a certain girl in the ward, who ALWAYS assigned herself to ALL the musical numbers. I was extremely annoyed with her by the end of the month. So now, I feel very humbled because of everything I said. Since I've "talked the talk", I now get to "walk the walk". I feel like I need to practice the heck out of the song that I found, since I decided to run my mouth. Now I get to put my money where my mouth is!

Oh man.....

"One slice of Humble Pie to go, please".

Friday Night = Date Night

Man.....

I'm going on a first date tonight.

Me = Nervous

I shouldn't be. But I always am.

It always feels like an interview/interrogation....just depending on how nervous I get.

Either way.... I'm nervous.

But "Big J" is a really nice guy, makes me laugh and well, he knows how much I LOOOOOVE pizza, so he invited me out for pizza. :)

I love pizza.

Too bad I don't love first dates as much as pizza....that would come in handy tonight.

Polo + PacoTheMarine = A good way to start a Thursday

Oh Thursday, you treat me so very, VERY well sometimes.....

Hung out with Polo last night/this morning. It was fun. TOO. MUCH. FUN. :) Gosh, I'm such a sucker for blue eyes.

After he left, my friend PacoTheMarine wanted to come by to show me his new BMW convertible. I've gotta say, driving 100+ mph is REAAAALLLLLY fun. Drove around for a while then came back to hang out by the fireplace to talk. Man, he smelled SOOOOOO delicious.

I wish my Thursdays could always be like that....well, with some pizza, of course! :)

Baby steps towards BYU-Hawaii.

As I was doing my homework right now and I started to think that I can't be mad at myself, or grumpy to be doing homework because this is what it's going to take to accomplish my goal, my dream of graduating from Brigham Young University-Hawaii. If anything, I need to be--correction: I get to be happy to be doing this homework on a GORGEOUS sunny day.

I felt like I had an "A-HA" moment today...

I'm on my way to achieving my dream!

I'm so happy, I could cry.

Like/Dislike

I like Pandora.com.

I dislike my feet getting dirty.

I like cooking with my sister.

I dislike hours of homework.

I like making up nicknames for people.

I dislike cleaning the bathroom.

I like winter days that are 85 degrees.

I dislike texting for hours.

I like being back in school.

I dislike voicemails.

I like my nephew sleeping on the floor next to me as I type this.

I dislike liver & onions.

Update: Randi style....

So I need to blog more often...but we'll just go for a randomonium entry for now...........

-I SHOULD be doing homework right now. But I'm a lil tapped out on being in front of a computer, reading. ((yes yes, I know this totally defeats the purpose))

-My hand hurts from writing the world's longest letter to my dear friend StephaniePatricia (aka: "Hermanita"). Oh I miss her so much. She leaves the MTC this Monday for Albuquerque. I'm so excited for her. I miss her so terribly.

-I'm REALLY enjoying being on this 'Brown Guy Train'. Why did I have tunnel vision for ONLY Caucasian guys? I guess it's cause I grew up liking surfers. Honestly, it's cause I grew up around Brown guys and wanted something different. No, I'm not racist because I didn't even dig Polynesian guys as well. For 2 reasons. #1: They end up being related somehow. #2: They end up looking like someone I'm related to. But seriously...I'm liking the Brown. It's fun!

-I started back up with school. I know, right?! School...who would have guessed! Luckily it's the online program with BYU-Idaho. BYU-Hawaii was the ONLY BYU school I ever saw myself attending....so I'm kinda going through a lil shock {I'm not a fan of BYU--GO UTES!!}. Actually, I saw this as an opportunity to getting into BYU-H when it came time to transfer. I had/have 3 goals for my life:

*Serve a full time mission for The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints.

*Graduate from Brigham Young University-Hawaii

*Marry in the LDS Temple

So, I've only completed 1 out of 3 goals in my 30 years of life. Kinda shabby, but I'm gonna die trying!!

-When does Glee come back on?!?! I'm soooooo missing it!!

-I shaved my head again. Several of my friends wondered, "WHY!?". First off, it's only hair--it grows back. Second, it's also a personal reason. Third, I honestly feel prettier without my hair. I know that sounds weird to think, "Hmm, a woman feels prettier without hair?! HOW!??". As much as I love my curly hair, I feel like it got all the attention. Without hair, I feel like people actually look at my face. Which means I have to step it up a bit and make it enjoyable for these people who are looking at my face. I never realized how truly beautiful my face is, like my big brown eyes, or my long eyelashes, the curves of my eyebrows, my cheeks as I apply blush (that I LOVE to wear now) or my full lips. It's been a blessing going through this experience. I feel more confident without hair. I'm sure strangers wonder SO many things when I'm not wearing a hat, but honestly, I don't really care what they think. I know who I am and I know why I have a shaved head.

-Soooo, my crush caught me tonight..... We ended up talking tonight and he's seriously a very chill guy, a cutie and such a sweetie! I can't wait to see him again. Hmm...for now, I think I'll call him, Captain. :) I've known Captain for the last several years. We'd talk whenever we saw each other at church, but I wouldn't exactly call us friends. He was always so nice, but I NEVER had an interest in him....til I saw him last Sunday. When he walked into church, I did a double take and then proceeded to watch him walk in. (Oh the blessings of playing the organ: I get to sit in front of the whole congregation and watch everyone.) I felt myself starting to blush, because I became SO nervous!!! I was suddenly viewing Captain in a whole new light!! I wanted to talk to him after our Sacrament meeting (services) but he took off before I could. Anyways....back to our texting & talking tonight. [I got his number from my wingman] I was flirting with him and teasing him a bit....til he totally called me on it. Literally. It was cool, cause he finally figured out it was me and told me to not be a stranger and hit him up again! Man....he's HOT!!!

-I'm GIDDY/ECSTATIC to wear my new Bohemian dress!! I miss my short straight hair, because I would totally bust a 'Farrah Fawcett" if I had it. Eh, it's cool... I'll just rock the accessories!

-Other than that..... Life is A-Ok.

Sister♥

I've got the greatest sister, EVER.

She buys me Cranberry Sierra Mist--my FAVORITE drink, EVER!!

And pretty dresses as well.

I can't wait to wear it!!

AHHHHH!!!

I love her dearly.

Kalanster.

Today I was fortunate enough to eat lunch with my youngest nephew, "Buddy". It's not often when I even get to see him, even though we live in the same house. He's always on the go or with friends. So I feel pretty lucky that I got to spend a lil time with him.

He's pretty different from my 2 older nephews. He's not as chill and laid back as them. He's wound up a lil tighter than they are. Actually, he takes after my very blunt, filterless and sometimes cynical father. He is most definitely my father's grandson. But that's what I like about Buddy, you don't have to guess where you stand with him. You don't have to wonder what he's thinking or how he's feeling, sometimes. I like it.

He's such a fun kid. I could never imagine our family without him. We use to teasingly call him, "Fed-Ex" after the movie, "Cheaper By the Dozen" came out just because he was so different from his brothers. Sometimes he works my nerves, but it just challenges me to try to understand him a lil more. He can definitely be a lil rough around the edges, but he has a good heart.

Buddy's a good kid. I love him a lot. He's so talented. He plays the guitar, sings and writes songs. I think he's so smart and I've always had (and still have) hopes that he'd be a doctor someday. His bedside manner would be terrible, but he'd always give it to you straight. I love the fact that even though he's a teenage boy, he showers and cares a lot about his appearance & grooming. He comes to me to ask what he should match together for certain outfits. I love those times. I also ask him for his opinion. I know that he'll be direct and won't beat around the bushes. That's very 'him'.

I have such high hopes for his life. He has a lot of potential. I'm so grateful to have him as a part of my family and my life. I love that kid so much. I hope he knows this.

How do you know?

Why do we fall in love? Why do we let someone in? And trust them completely? Being vulnerable is such a scary feeling. Maybe we do it because the payback can be so rewarding. We hope for the reciprocation and are so blessed when it happens. But what happens when the reciprocation doesn't happen? For me, it feels like I've been stripped naked and left out in the cold. I hate that feeling. I've gone through that within the last 6 months and I never want to do that again. But it's the chance I've got to be willing to take, to find that person who's willing to trust me, to feel vulnerable with me and allow me to love them in return.

Oh love....you make me wonder sometimes......