The 12.22.13 Blog

*I can't believe that Christmas will be here in just 3 days!!  THREE DAYS!!!  Where has the time gone?!?! Where has this whole year flown off to??  I'm looking forward to Christmas, and then the days following it.  I can't believe it'll be the NEW YEAR next week!! Wow!!  

*I went to my ward today.  I've been avoiding it for the last several weeks, attending any other ward but that one.  It was nice to see some ol' familiar faces.  A couple weeks ago, the Bishop sent me an email to wish me well and see how I was doing.  I told him the reason why I've steered clear of the ward.  I was hurt from stuff a "friend" had said about me.  When the Bishop greeted me at church today, we had only a minute to talk and then he asked me "Have you forgiven that person?"  I wasn't expecting that.  I didn't know what to say!  It gave me a lot to think about on the way home.  I know we're always taught that we should forgive, but sometimes, I think we need to learn how to forgive. {more on that later....}

*So I got Christmas lumpia, today.  Super thoughtful!

*I'm stoked that my niece will be spending the week with us {my sister & I} in the office.  I miss seeing her & her brother (almost) everyday. 

*I watched the Chargers/Raiders game today.  It was a lil hard, but since it's something that Levi enjoys, I need to learn to enjoy it more.  Heaven knows how much he does for me, so it's the very least I could do for him.  Not like we need to do EVERYTHING together, but I sure do enjoy spending so much time with him.  GO BOLTS! {Man, this might be harder than I think.....I just don't like football.}

*Ok....it's gettin' late..... G'nite.

Peace.

This week, I've been trying to invite more PEACE into my life.
Sometimes, I think we allow ourselves to get caught up with so much distraction, disruption and disillusionment from what LIFE has to offer.

There is beauty in the world; bask in it. 

There is anger in the world; refrain from it.

There is joy in the world; partake in it.

There is bitterness in the world; depart from it

There is forgiveness in the world; share it.

The upside to having Meniere's Disease is knowing that I have to avoid stress.  That is one thing I am truly grateful for, with this syndrome.   [Of course that means I can't get too excited about my upcoming Disney parks trip {because I'm uber ecstatic!}.]  However,  it just means that I can't get worked up about every little thing that comes my way.  A wise friend once told me that I need to be "less invested" & to "let it go" sometimes.  He was 100% right!  I forget that sometime, but I'm so grateful when I remember!!

I just want to have a more peaceful life.  I don't want bad relationships--both family and friends.  I want to wish more people well, in their lives.  I want to forgive faster and love more.   I can't judge others and wish them harm, then expect Heavenly Father to forgive me for my own trespasses.  I can only live the best life possible and hope that others are doing the same.  

Jesus said love everyone.

Treat them kindly, too.

When your heart is filled with love,

Others will love you.

-Childrens Songbook, LDS

Wrong....but not entirely.

There is a wonderful feeling that can come with an apology, as both the receiver and the giver. 

I felt like I owed Houston an apology.  I apologized and was quickly forgiven for something that I didn't even need to apologize about.  I love it when men are so understanding when you're a lil crazy/emotional when Aunt Flo is here.  More so, I'm grateful that Houston is just willing to overlook my imperfections and still have such lovely feelings for me. 

Life is good.

And just when I thought I was off the hook.... I've still gotta think of something impressive to cook him on Wednesday.

Wish me luck!!

And leave me some ideas!!

Forgiveness.

Last night, as I was reading, "The Traveler's Gift", I learned more about forgiveness.  

My mind was flooded with those I should forgive in my life, right now.  I thought about my talk with Mr. Red the other night and the grudge I hold against some of my immediate family members.  Several years ago, I held a grudge against a brother  and that consumed my heart.  After we forgave each other, I felt like I could breathe again and not have to carry that load on my shoulders any longer.  

From The Traveler's Gift:

"The unmistakable truth about forgiveness is that it is not a reward that must be earned; forgiveness is a gift to be given.  When I give forgiveness, I free my own spirit to release the anger and hatred harbored in my heart.  By granting forgiveness, I free my spirit to pursue my future happily and unencumbered by the anchors of my past.  And forgiveness, when granted to others, becomes a gift to myself."

"I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it.  By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts.  I give up my bitterness.  I am content in my soul and effective again with my fellowman.  I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.  I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly."

Forgiveness is hard.  I was debating the positive sides to forgiving certain family members.   I want to but at the same time I don't because I'm afraid it's just going to set me up for future hurt.  However, I can't stand the negative feelings that cloud my heart and obstruct it from freely giving more love.  I think forgiveness is a process.  For me, it's stopping those feelings of hate, then growing up to apathy and indifference and finally to a point of being open to the idea of liking them again, with the hopes of love in the not too distant future.  I don't know what it's going to take, but I know it's going to be worth it in the long run.