Cinco.

Man, I'm EXHAUSTED! I can't wait to relax and fall asleep. In the meanwhile....

FRIDAY FAVE 5!!

1.The feeling of accomplishment as I walk out of the gym after a great work out!
2. Hugging my nephew Simi, who's about to leave on his 2 year mission to Fiji.
3. Reminiscing over the last 19 years of Simi's life: the day he was born, his curly baby hair, walking him to Kindergarten, the first time he passed Sacrament, fixing his hair for Prom, opening his mission call. I'm really going to miss him.
4. The fact that I have a date on Sunday!! It's been so loooooong!!!
5. My uber comfy queen size bed.

When one door closes....

...another opens.

But I wasn't expecting such a door to open, and not this soon too.

I guess I have a date, next week with a friend.

I thought we were just hanging out while he was in town, but from his emails it's our "first date". I feel like I'm still scratching my head, wondering when 'hanging out' turned into a date.

He's a nice guy, but I don't see him as date material. I mean in the way that he served his mission here in San Diego a year ago and now he's coming back to visit. He's 25 years old, so at least he's not wet behind the ears 21.

"But whatever you wanna do, whenever you wanna do it, I'm all yours!"--is my guideline as to choosing what we do. I'd say that I'm nervous because I just don't know what he's expecting or what his mindset is. Oh well...we'll see what happens.

Today is Monday.

Yessiree it is....

What's on my mind?

-I can't wait til Utah!! I'm so stoked to see my dear friends and my beloved Pie Pizzeria.

-I love my friend PajamaPants and all he does to make me happy and cheerful, like him.

-I need to go to Wal Mart...shoot me in my head! So much chaos and noise!! UGH!!

-I can't wait to see Flogging Molly in concert, Sept. 21 at the House of Blues! WHOOT!!

-I like starting all of these sentences with "I".

-I'm starting to feel self-centered.

-I could surely use a nap right about now.

-I'm suppose to be at a beach bon fire in a half hour. I don't want to go.

-I have a headache. And I've yet to go to Wal Mart. Hello Migrane city.

-I'm done.

All's well that ends well....

(I just wanted something pretty to look at, if and when I ever read this post again)

I talked to Mr.NY today. It didn't go as well as I would have hoped. We did clear the air as to where we stand with each other. To put it as bluntly and honestly as he did,

"I have no interest in dating you, Ehu."

I'm quite surprised that I was cool, calm and collected throughout the whole phone call. It was actually a really good call--considering... Do I resent him and want to call him every name in the book? No, not really. Do I feel like my heart crumbled inside when I heard those words above? A very tiny bit. I'm truly grateful for his honesty and being up front with me. But as I've been thinking about him in the last couple days, I've realized that we're both EXTREMELY different type of people. I'm not saying this to console myself...but really, we are. Why would he want to date me---I don't ever plan on drinking or having pre-maritial sex. Probably not appealing to him. Does he ever plan on going to church or the temple with me? Probably not. As I sat in the temple yesterday, I kept thinking how I don't want to sit there alone, by myself. I want to be able to attend the temple with whoever I'm dating. He's a very athletic and adventurous, I'm more reserved and relaxed. The call went well and I know that tomorrow in the office won't be any different. He's still a tremendously nice and honest guy and I'm fortunate to have him as a co-worker.

All's well that ends well.

Utah!

I seriously need a change of scenary! I CANNOT wait til I can get away for a few days to UTAH!!! (Aug 10-13) I was looking over old pictures of my time in Utah and just got off the phone right now with my cousin Kema.

I cannot wait to see her and just hang out "talking story" with her. She's the closest thing I have to a sister (besides my own SIL). She just had another baby and I can't wait to see her!

As I'm anticipating this Utah trip, I can't help but remember all the good times I've had there and all the friends that still live there (or near there...) I can't wait to see them!! I feel like I'm going home, but not exactly...does that make sense? I mean, I really enjoyed my time up in Utah and I feel like I'm just going back to something familiar. I love having that feeling.

It didn't go so well....

Helloooooo Ben & Jerry's....

I think I may have bought a few too many movies tonight....oh well, it's not like I'm going on any dates, anytime soon.

Decisions.

I have a lot on my mind. I just got home from dropping off Mr.NY. We had a softball game after work and it was way fun! I didn't play this time, I just shot a lot of photos. As we were driving to his house, we were talking and a lot came to mind.

I like Mr.NY [As if you couldn't already tell], a lot. He's a truly wonderful and kind gentleman. I love being near him. I never have anything to worry about. I trust him. Sometimes, he's too good to be true [aside from the religious aspect].

But...

I feel like I have to make a decision, once and for all. I feel like I'm getting ready to cross a bridge and I'm scared. I don't know if the view from the other side will be worth it. Will it be worth crossing over? Should I just stay safe and sheltered on my side of the bridge? Will I forever regret not trying to cross this bridge? Will I forever wonder, "What if"?. I don't want to be that type of person. I want to know if the view from the other side of the bridge is worth it. I don't want to guess or imagine. I want to know and be grateful for that knowledge--whether the view turns out to be good or bad. I'm scared to change the dynamics of our friendship, but I'm tired of not knowing. Ignorance is not bliss, sometimes. I want to do this, but I need to do this whole heartedly or not at all. And if I don't do it then I need to be okay with where our friendship is. I'm scared...wish me luck tomorrow.