I have a lot on my mind. I just got home from dropping off Mr.NY. We had a softball game after work and it was way fun! I didn't play this time, I just shot a lot of photos. As we were driving to his house, we were talking and a lot came to mind.
I like Mr.NY [As if you couldn't already tell], a lot. He's a truly wonderful and kind gentleman. I love being near him. I never have anything to worry about. I trust him. Sometimes, he's too good to be true [aside from the religious aspect].
But...
I feel like I have to make a decision, once and for all. I feel like I'm getting ready to cross a bridge and I'm scared. I don't know if the view from the other side will be worth it. Will it be worth crossing over? Should I just stay safe and sheltered on my side of the bridge? Will I forever regret not trying to cross this bridge? Will I forever wonder, "What if"?. I don't want to be that type of person. I want to know if the view from the other side of the bridge is worth it. I don't want to guess or imagine. I want to know and be grateful for that knowledge--whether the view turns out to be good or bad. I'm scared to change the dynamics of our friendship, but I'm tired of not knowing. Ignorance is not bliss, sometimes. I want to do this, but I need to do this whole heartedly or not at all. And if I don't do it then I need to be okay with where our friendship is. I'm scared...wish me luck tomorrow.
