Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Mama Stephy!

Tonight, I got to talk to one of my most dearest friends.  Oh how I love Mama Stephy!  It's not often when we get to talk on the phone because she has three youngins and there's about a 3 hour difference between us.  
However, when we do get to talk it's just so spectacular! I love laughing with her. I love the wit and wisdom she brings to our friendship.  Tonight's conversation turned to children and babies.  It was such a beautiful conversation about what delivery is like and the love that floods a delivery room.   It makes me so excited for motherhood, someday.  I definitely need to write this conversation in my journal tonight.
Although we haven't seen each other in more than 7 years, it doesn't feel like our friendship has changed or drifted apart.  I'm so grateful to still have her in my life. I couldn't be more thankful for a loving Heavenly Father to bring her into my life over 13 years ago.  

Monday, December 15, 2014

Motherhood: 10 Things Your Mom Never Told You.

Today, I came across such a beautiful article on Motherhood. I'm not a mother, yet, but it's definitely a role I'm excited, nervous, ecstatic, scared and anxious to experience! Reading this article makes me wish I had read this when I was younger so I could better appreciate my Mom and understand get better

10 Things Your Mom Never Told You
by Natasha Craig

Pregnant.
There it was, clear as day, two blue lines staring back at me from the small pregnancy test I had just purchased.
I double checked...
One line = not pregnant.
Two lines = pregnant.
Yup, I was definitely pregnant.
My heart was pounding.
My head was spinning.
My stomach was churning.
I was nervous, excited, scared and ecstatic all at the same time.
This was actually happening! After years of dreaming, preparing for and anticipating this day, it was finally here. I was going to be a mother.
Little did I know that in nine short months, I would begin the most exhausting, life-changing, heart-wrenching, but indescribably rewarding journey of my life.
In nine months, I would learn the price of motherhood firsthand. I would know exactly what it takes to be a mother. I would gain a whole new understanding of and gratitude for the beautiful woman I call Mom.
I would learn about things mothers experience that their children often know very little about.
Here are 10 things your mom never told you.
1. You made her cry... a lot. She cried when she found out she was pregnant. She cried as she gave birth to you. She cried when she first held you. She cried with happiness. She cried with fear. She cried with worry. She cried because she feels so deeply for you. She felt your pain and your happiness and she shared it with you, whether you realized it or not.
2. She wanted that last piece of pie. But when she saw you look at it with those big eyes and lick your mouth with that tiny tongue, she couldn't eat it. She knew it would make her much happier to see your little tummy be filled than hers.
3. It hurt. When you pulled her hair, it hurt; when you grabbed her with those sharp fingernails that were impossible to cut, it hurt; when you bit her while drinking milk, that hurt, too. You bruised her ribs when you kicked her from her belly; you stretched her stomach out for nine months; you made her body contract in agonizing pain as you entered this world.
4. She was always afraid. From the moment you were conceived, she did all in her power to protect you. She became your mama bear. She was that lady who wanted to say no when the little girl next door asked to hold you, and who cringed when she did, because in her mind no one could keep you as safe as she herself could. Her heart skipped two beats with your first steps. She stayed up late to make sure you got home safe, and woke up early to see you off to school. With every stubbed toe and little stumble, she was close by; she was ready to snatch you up with every bad dream or late night fever. She was there to make sure you were OK.
5. She knows she's not perfect. She is her own worst critic. She knows all her flaws and sometimes hates herself for them. She is hardest on herself when it comes to you, though. She wanted to be the perfect mom, to do nothing wrong -- but because she is human, she made mistakes. She is probably still trying to forgive herself for them. She wishes with her whole heart that she could go back in time and do things differently, but she can't, so be kind to her, and know she did the best she knew how to do.
6. She watched you as you slept. There were nights when she was up 'til 3:00 a.m. praying that you would finally fall asleep. She could hardly keep her eyes open as she sang to you, and she would beg you to "please, please fall asleep." Then, when you finally fell asleep, she would lay you down and all her tiredness would disappear for a short second as she sat by your bedside looking down at your perfect cherub face, experiencing more love than she knew was possible, despite her worn-out arms and aching eyes.
7. She carried you a lot longer than nine months. You needed her to. So she did. She would learn to hold you while she cleaned; she would learn to hold you while she ate; she would even hold you while she slept, because it was the only way she could sometimes. Her arms would get tired, her back would hurt, but she held you still because you wanted to be close to her. She snuggled you, loved you, kissed you and played with you. You felt safe in her arms; you were happy in her arms; you knew you were loved in her arms, so she held you, as often and as long as you needed.
8. It broke her heart every time you cried. There was no sound as sad as your cries, or sight as horrible as the tears streaming down your perfect face. She did all in her power to stop you from crying, and when she couldn't stop your tears, her heart would shatter into a million little pieces.
9. She put you first. She went without food, without showers and without sleep. She always put your needs before her own. She would spend all day meeting your needs, and by the end of the day, she would have no energy left for herself. But the next day, she would wake up and do it all over again, because you meant that much to her.
10. She would do it all again. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and it will take you to your very limits sometimes. You cry, you hurt, you try, you fail, you work and you learn. But, you also experience more joy that you thought was possible and feel more love than your heart can contain. Despite all the pain, grief, late nights and early mornings you put your mom through, she would do it all again for you because you are worth it to her. So, next time you see her, tell your mom thank you; let her know that you love her. She can never hear it too many times.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Motherhood.

Tonight, I came across this beautiful art piece. I just love it!! I want to own this piece, someday. (But for now, it's sold out) 
I think it captures the radiant beauty and divinity of Motherhood. In my heart of hearts, I look forward to the day I become a Mother. I can't wait til I hold my infant child sent straight from Heaven.  The more I fall deeper in love with my sweetheart, it makes me anticipate the next chapter in life. I'm so curious as to what our babies will look like. As much as I am NOT looking forward to middle of the night feedings, I am looking forward to the stillness that comes with a slumbering baby held close to my heart.  I can't wait to rock them gently and sing them to sleep. I'm anxious and nervous to experience that overwhelming love that comes upon holding them for the first time. I just can't wait! Someday, soon enough...

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Familiarity & Future Families...

Today, I went to my ol' family ward.  Man, it was just so nice to be amongst familiar friends.  I love familiarity, it's just so comforting.  I felt like I was going "home".  "Home" has been such a distant, unfamiliar feeling these last couple years.  


As I was sitting in the 3rd hour class, the topic of the hour (as well as Sacrament meeting) was "Families & Family Home Evening".  Since I was amongst the few, probably the only single adult there, my mind wandered.  I looked around at all the married members of the ward, at all the married couples....especially those that were my age and younger.  
"Should I have married Jake?" 
"Could it have worked out?"
"I'm sure I would have been able to make things work"
"I wasn't really that bored with him, was I??"
"I could be a Mom by now, pregnant with our second child by now"
"Marriage is work, so it would have been hard anyways."
"Why didn't I just marry him??"
These questions were swirling inside of my head during that last hour.  I couldn't help it.  Everything was focused on family and I sometimes wonder about my own future family.  
I wonder what pregnancy will feel like.  Will I rub my stomach a lot, as I try to connect as much as I can with the wonder that it growing inside of me?  Will I sing and talk to my unborn baby? I'm pretty sure I will.  I imagine myself rocking my baby to sleep, in the middle of the night, and taking sweetness of my baby wonder.  What will my babies look like?  Will they have my nose or my husband's smile?  I love to wonder what my babies will look like.  

Across the aisle, there was a Dad sitting with his baby boy and I just wanted to hold that baby.  I miss holding babies, so much.  I miss kissing their hand as it grabs on to my finger.  I see baby feet and I just  wanna kiss them.  Oh and I love their sweet aroma of baby deliciousness!! 

I sincerely hope and pray that someday, maybe someday in this lifetime, I get to experience the joy and wonder of motherhood. Oh how I would love that so much.  I hope I would never take that for granted or later complain about how tiring it is... I mean, I probably will, but I HOPE that I will always see the glass as being half full and always give thanks for the opportunity to witness the miracle of life.  



Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Babies.

Lately, I've had this great desire and longing to hold a baby. I have no idea where it's exactly coming from?!  I guess since BabyChleo isn't a baby any longer, I'm going through withdrawals..  Most of my friends kids are now toddlers.  
As I was going through some old photos today, I came acoss this lil gem of my niece.  She was such a beautiful baby! I always imagined that my babies would someday look like her.  Just like her brothers, she smelled so deliciously cute, as a baby!!
Maybe I feel my biological clock ticking away?  
I would love to be a Mom.  I would love to experience pregnancy and the wonder of life growing within.  Oh how I would enjoy every moment of looking into my baby's sweet face and know that they're mine, forever....that they're both me and my husband, combined.  I imagine all the songs I would sing, as I rocked them to sleep.  Oh I miss the sweet aroma of a baby!!  
Man...... I really, really, really, want to hold a baby.  




Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother.

I received a pink Carnation at my parents new ward, for Mothers day. As I was smelling it right now, my Tutu came to mind. Makes me think back to when she would garden at my parents old house. I remember those little mini carnations. Smelling my pink carnation brought her back to life for me.  Oh I miss her so. 9 years ago, I wish I had called her on Mothers day, when I was on my mish.  I even asked my Mission President if that would be ok that I call her instead of my Mom.  I didn't want to get homesick and I knew that my twice a year phone call home would totally surprise her. I wish I did call her, that would have been the last time I spoke with her. I can't believe it's almost been 9 years since she passed away.  Time surely flies. 


I've been thinking a lot about Motherhood and being a mother, and all things related.  


I'm grateful for those women in my life who are wonderful examples of motherhood.  My sister gave a wonderful talk on motherhood, yesterday at church. I think she is a shining example of the kind of mother I hope to be, someday.  She is kind, loving, funny, very intelligent, personable and all around awesome.  I'm thankful to have Mama McK as well.  She couldn't have come into my life at a more perfect time.  She was a missionary here in SD about two years ago, which she also happened to be the mom of two of my friends.  She loves me unconditionally, gives me an earful when needed and has an empathetic heart at all times.  I love her dearly.   
I'm blessed with so many friends who are amazing moms to their young children. I listen to their experiences and watch them fulfill their roles with a loving heart.  Their children are blessed beyond measure to have the mothers that they do.  
As for my own mom, I've learned to perfect the art of civility and patience. We haven't had the best relationship in the last couple years.  It's been very difficult.  I've learned a lot more of what type of mom I hope to be someday.  We'll see.....  
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