My heart.

This man.
He shows his love for me every day, all day and in many, many ways.  I am beyond lucky that he chose me.  As he has reassured me many times, my happiness is his happiness.  I don't know how I would have pulled through this difficult time which hasn't been easy for him as well.  I can only imagine the feelings and deep emotions that has stirred within him regarding his own Mom that passed away 5 years ago, and now having to watch his wife go through the same experience.
I am grateful for my sweetheart who has put my wants before his needs which doesn't seem fair in the least bit but to ask him to do differently would be like asking him not to breathe; nearly impossible.
Heaven knows of our struggles, but it also knows of all the love in my heart for him, for his patience and most especially his enduring love.
My cup runneth o'er.

"A new normal"

Today's been rough. I used to call my parents on Sundays because it was the day after my Dad's dialysis so he'd usually be more energized.

I still try to call my Mom on Sundays. It's hard. It's hard not to just ask for my Dad, like usual. Today, we talked for about 40 minutes, just her and I.  I guess this is our new normal.

I miss saying, "Hi Dad!" My chest feels hollow today. I miss last Sunday. I had all my loved ones in one place.  

I know I still have so much to blog/journal about, but it's so difficult to think about certain things and rehash certain experiences.

All I know is that I miss my Dad more and more and just when I think I'm doing better, my chest bottoms out and my heart just sinks, like a ton of bricks have fallen all over me, repeatedly. Sometimes it's a task just to breathe. I try to act normal and BE normal, but I'm still adjusting to this new normal. 

I miss him more than I'll ever be able to describe and sometimes I don't know how life can just be normal and happy again. This is the hardest challenge of my life. 

August in Rewind: Thursday, August 3. (temple)

Thursday, August 3 (temple)

I was nervous about my nephew being late to the temple since he was going to be Levi's escort.  Slim texted me to tell me that he was already there while we were about 8 minutes away.  That made me even more anxious.  I was doing my very best to be calm.  Levi just wanted to make sure we got there on time but I knew that since it was a Thursday, it wouldn't be busy at the temple.  PLUS, it's not like they could start without us.
We pulled into the parking lot and found a great parking spot. Close to the entrance and close to the front of the temple where we would be taking a lot of photos afterwards.  As we started to walk away from the truck, I wanted to take a photo of us.

I wanted to send a photo to my parents so they could feel like they were included in every step.  I was excited and was also trying to take in every single moment of the day.  It was quiet on the temple grounds, barely anybody in sight.  MAYBE there were 2 other people on the grounds.  It was quiet and peaceful, unlike the usual hustle and bustle of a Saturday.  This was another reason why I'd always wanted to be married/sealed on a Thursday.
We walked in and there was my nephew and his wife. My nephew's wife didn't have her temple recommend w/ her, so she could only hug us at the reception desk and had to wait for us during the ceremony.
The temple seemed different that day.  I felt like I was looking at it through new eyes.  I went into rooms that I had only been in once or twice before.  We first walked into the waiting room and my old roommate, Sestra, was there.  I gave her a huge hug and I got choked up hugging her.  I haven't seen Sestra in about 7 years, and we were roommates over 12 years ago.  Sestra was the best roommates I could have ever had (upon moving out for the first time).  She is kind, sincere and genuinely goodhearted!  I think I squeezed her so tight because she I was over the moon to have her here, in person, celebrating this beautiful experience.  Also because I never knew if I would ever get to this point in my life; being married & sealed.  I wish I could have spent all afternoon just catching up with her.
Reed was next to Sestra and she would be my escort for the day.  Unfortunately, my sister's recommend also expired without realizing it til that day, so I needed someone I was close to; Reed.  I love Reed just as much as I love my sister.  I've known Reed since the day I returned home from my mission  I love her children and couldn't be more grateful to consider her family.  More and more of our guests were showing up, Auntie Sue, Mike & Julie, Buzz...all our dear loved ones.  My heart could just burst at the seams.
We needed to go over paperwork stuff, so they took us to a side room.  I could see more of our guests walking in and I just wanted to greet them all!  We were sitting in a room about 20 feet away just watching them all.  They were all there for us.  I had to fight back the tears many, MANY times.
We went over paperwork stuff, and then the temple president called us into his office.  My heart just wanted explode!  I wanted to cry because this was all becoming a reality.  He explained what was going to take place and my heart was full of love for the man next to me.  He learned about this gospel and joined this religion so that we could be a forever family and it was all coming together.  I wanted to just slow down a bit, and sit there on that couch a bit longer because I wanted to take it all in. Plus it was so dang hot and I was tired of being a hot sweaty mess!
We went back to the waiting room and more guests had arrived.  Our missionaries (technically Levi's missionaries), Jordan & Travis came all the way from Idaho.  I wanted to just cry.  I love these two return missionaries.  We were then ushered to go upstairs to change.  Slim walked over w/ Levi to rent some clothes and I had my brand new temple dress in my bag.  We headed up the stairs and over to the bridal room.
I hadn't been in the bridal room since I was endowed 15 years ago.  It was nice to be back.  It was just as beautiful as I remember and today I was to be the bride.  I was sad that my sister wasn't there with me, but I was grateful for Reed.  Can I just say that I LOVE my dress?!?! It is so comfy and soft and ooooooh so pretty!  I got all dressed and I felt so beautiful.  This was it.  I was going to be sealed, to my sweetheart, for time and all eternity.  We walked up the stairs together and everything seemed to look different.  It wasn't the temple I had known all my life (since I was 12).  It just felt different that day.  Good different, but almost foreign.  I don't know why, but I was alright.
There were beautiful parts of the ceremony that are seared in my heart, forever.
We were able to sit in the Celestial Room for a tiny bit, which gave me time to teach my first name to the temple sealer.  Of all the things I wanted that day, I wanted someone who could pronounce my name.  After about 10 minutes of talking with him,  it was time.  I was friggin' hot and sweaty, so was my poor Levi.  It was just so dang hot and humid that day!!! Wearing layers upon layers of clothes doesn't help a situation.  Then it was time.
I tried to remember every single word spoken in the ceremony.  Although I can't discuss it all, I remember how I felt.  My sweetheart was going to be mine, forever.  I wanted to cry.  I was happy and over the moon about it.  I wished with all my heart that my parents could have been there with us.  I wish my sister was sitting by me.  I wished my Kuku & Tutu could have had front row seats for it all.  But that's ok, the most important thing was that we were being sealed for time, and all eternity.
It was the most exquisite and most serene ceremony I had ever been a part of.
Afterwards we were able to hug everyone that came.  I absolutely LOVED that part! I loved embracing everyone who came.  I wish I could have had at least 5 minutes with each person because they all meant so much to me, and to us.
After we hugged everyone, we were talking with our witnesses, Jordan & Travis.  I expressed to them, with all the love in my heart, how truly grateful I was for their missions.  I will forever be grateful for their missionary service because they helped give me eternity with my sweetheart.  Their eyes were wet and there was just so much love in that sealing room.  My heart was full.
And just like that, it was over.  It happened so quickly.  I wish I took a moment longer to really look at everyone in our company that day.  I know I didn't because I was already so close to crying so many, MANY times and I was trying hard NOT to be a bawling, bumbling mess that day.  As for our actual wedding day, 3 years prior, I was a mess.  I was crying from the second I walked down the aisle to the second I walked out of there. I was a nervous, anxious mess.  I promised Levi that I would do better this time around and I think I did him proud. Nonetheless, thank heavens for water-proof mascara!
Wow, it was over in about 20 minutes.  Something so lovely, and grand and just awesome was over before I knew it.  My heart wanted to just stay in the sealing room.  Eternity was given to us and I just wanted to relish in the wonder of it all.
My beautiful, selfless best friend of a husband was and is mine for eternity. My cup runneth o'er.

August in Rewind: Thursday, August 3. (pre-temple)

Thursday, August 3 (pre-temple)

Today's our 3 year wedding anniversary!!! I woke up around 9 and Levi was still asleep.  I love watching him sleep because he looks so peaceful.  It was still early enough and my Dad wouldn't be at dialysis just yet.  I called over to my parents and spoke with both of them. I wanted to call and thank them for their example of loving and serving in the temple.  It was a good phone call.  We were all emotional.  My Dad, like clockwork, asked about Levi.  He always asks about Levi and how he's doing with work.  I told him that Levi was asleep in bed.  My Dad was speaking so slowly but I'm glad to hear that he was eating quite a bit today, from Mom.  I just felt like I needed to talk to my parents this morning because this was a big event that was taking place in my life and I wanted them to to feel like a part of the day.  I wish they could be there in the temple with us that day but I know deep in my heart that they already know how all of this works.  I owe a lot to my parents in helping me get to the temple, each time I've gone for something important in my life.

I just wanted the world to know how much I love and adore this sweetheart of mine.
He finally woke up and we went to grab breakfast.  We went to McDonald's for 2 deluxe breakfasts. As soon as that was done, I went to get my toenails done.  If there was anything I was going to do, it was to get my toes done! I needed "vacation toenails"! I love me some French tip toenails!

Man, it is extremely humid today!!! Like it's just so friggin' hot and humid!! Sweat on top of sweat on top of sweat!  My phone's going off like crazy with texts and Fb & Instagram notifications. I got to talk to my best friend, MamaStephy.  Man, I love her and I can't wait to wear the special Lularoe dress she sent me! Oh how I wish she could be here!

I'm off to do my nails. Hopefully this doesn't take long!  Thankfully, I have everything set in my temple bag for us. I have my brand new temple dress (OH SO PRETTY!!!) and our temple recommends in the zipper! We're set!

*Dang nail salon took a while.  UGH, I guess that's what I get for not getting a pedicure more often! :(  Wow...time is flying so quickly!!!! I need to do my nails!!!

I took a shower and after I turned it off, it's still so hot and sticky!!! WHY!?! Why did we ever get married in August?! The HOTTEST month of Summer!!! GAH! YUCK!!!

I'm trying to do my make up and I am HOTTER THAN HOT!!! I just can't stop sweating!!! WHY IS IT SO HOT!!!!! :(  :( :(  It's closing in on 2:30p and we should have left for the temple already.  Let me double check my bag for our temple recommends.

WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE OUR RECOMMENDS?!?!?!? I KNOW I PUT THEM ALL IN MY TEMPLE BAG AND I CANNOT FIND THEM!!! WHAT THE F?!??!  Are you friggin' kidding me?!?1?!?!?  I'm tearing everything apart!! My purse! NOPE.  Our dresser. NOPE!!  10 minutes later, after my blood pressure went thru the room, Levi walked in from the truck holding them.  Oh yeah.....I forgot I put them in the glove compartment after his endowment.  WHAT THE HECK?!?!?  Seriously!! I DID NOT need this today!!! WHY DID I DO THAT??!? AAARGGGGGUGH!!!!!!

My finger nails aren't painted.  Oh how I wish I would have gotten that dang manicure!!! But I didn't have time!  I just need a good 5 minutes and I can get it done!  Levi is trying to convince me that we need to get in the truck because we need to leave and get gas on the way.  I am now painting my nails as we drive! YES, AS WE DRIVE I AM PAINTING MY NAILS!!! How did I spread myself so thin to not do my finger nails!!! UGH!!!  I am attempting to paint my nails as he drives... I've NEVER done this before and it is nearly impossible to do.  I'm getting it on the skin around my nails and I am crying.  Seriously, I'm crying because I wanted my hands to look pretty today.  Plus, I just needed 5 minutes of stillness to get this done.  I'm stressing hardcore as we're connecting onto the 52 West, Levi's trying to console me and I just want him to pull off the rode for 5 whole minutes.  THANK GOODNESS for quick dry polish, but it's too late....it's on the sides of my skin and with the max AC, the nail polish is clumping on my nails because it's drying faster than I can apply it.  I'm so mad.  I'm mad at Levi because he rushed me. I'm mad that I didn't give myself more time. I'm mad that I didn't do this before falling asleep at 4am this morning. I'm mad I didn't just do my pedicure on Monday when I went to get my eyebrows waxed. I'm mad that the time we took look for our recommends, I could have been painting my nails!!! I'm just so mad!!

My nephew's now beaten us to the temple and we still had about 10 minutes before we'd reach there!! UGH....my poor nails look terrible and I'm trying to be ok with all of this and calm...most of all CALM for my Levi.  How did time fly by so quickly?! YAY! We're closing in on 5 North!  We're almost there!!!!

August in Rewind: Wednesday, August 2

{I'd like to just take a moment to rewind back to the beginning of the month, when life was just a bit different and I want to record my thoughts & feelings from those days.}

Wednesday, August 2:
I took today off, as did Levi.  Things on today's to do list:
-Pick up the cake from work [Thank you Krissa!]
-Pick up Baby's Breath {Thankful I placed an order for 2 bunches!}
-Make it down to my sister's to receive tables & chairs!

Other than that, we'll have to pick up the table clothes from Lei and later tonight, I'll need to cut the butterfly confetti for the tables & bake cookies...oh yeah and dye my hair as I've been wanting to do for the last several days!  Ugh... I can't have grey hairs on my special day!  "Why butterflies?" you may ask?  Butterflies have a special meaning to Levi, which always makes him think of his Mom who loved butterflies.

It's been miserably hot and exceptionally sticky & humid.  UGH, the humidity!!! Our AC has been running 24/7!  Levi's been gaming quite a bit and I'm glad he's home today to help me buy the last minute stuff I need from Hobby Lobby & WalMart, for cookies & decorations.

I stopped by work to pick up the naked German Chocolate Cake from Krissa.  Whoa....it looks pretty naked & way different than the typical frosted cake.  Knowing her stuff, I know this is going to be good!

Levi, in his infinite patience, is driving us around town this afternoon.  We found the flower place and I just want to buy all the flowers here!  I loved walking out of the flower shop with my 2 bunches of Baby's Breath.  There's something so pretty about its simplicity.  I think they're going to look so pretty in the mason jars!  I cannot wait!

We pulled up to my sister's and there's my nephew Slim, grilling chicken on an electric grill.  My niece, Novee is bumbling around behind him talking about his Google Cardboard (or something similar to that)  I walk in and hang the white table clothes on the door frame.  Man, they were heavy and oh so white!  AHHH!!!! I just can't believe it....we're getting closer to our party!! Wow we have a lot of stuff to bring into my sister's place for tomorrow.

Can I just say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE having family dinners outside.  There is just something so wonderful and beautiful about having the sky as your ceiling to your family dinner. I love it so much.  Oh how I wish I could have my middle 2 nephews join us for this family dinner. It was such a delightful evening and for some reason I was in a very good mood.  Levi was teasing me by saying I was being "Jokey!"  Oh too funny.  It was like rapid fire with the jokes.  I was in the best mood.  Less than 24 hours to our anniversary/sealing party! I just couldn't wait!

I'm thankful for my niece who was so nice to help me out with making sure the tables would be all set and decorated by the time we return from the temple.

Twinkle lights! Does it get any better than this, on a Summer evening?!  I wanted to spend more time with my nephew & his wife since I knew that I wouldn't get to interact with them much the next day and then soon enough we'd be off on our second honeymoon.

I baked 16 dozen cookies tonight!  I finished somewhere around 3am (on Thursday 8/3) Levi stayed up as late as he could to do "quality control" as he promised.  I made 8 dozen chocolate toffee cookies & white chocolate, mac & coconut cookies for our party. I just wanted to make something by my own hand for our family and friends.  I just felt like homemade cookies would be a special touch from me.  Man.....there were a lot of cookies! Oh my weakness for fresh homemade cookies!

I was able to dye my hair and the dang gloves tore and the web between my index & thumb were dark red! AHHH!!!!  Thank goodness for a pumice stone....

Anyways, I better get to sleep!  No need for bags under my eyes!  ONE MORE SLEEP til the big day!!

August in Rewind: Tuesday, August 1.

I'd like to just take a moment to rewind back to the beginning of the month, when life was just a bit different and I want to record my thoughts & feelings from those days.

Tuesday, August 1:
I went to work today.  I called in sick yesterday because I was feeling a bit stressed and needed to slow down a bit.  Plus it was nice to get some stuff down towards Thursday's big day.  I was having a hard time focusing on work today.  I felt like I needed to make lists on top of lists and double check all lists so that everything was in place.
During my lunch today, I had to run to the temple's Distribution Center for stuff. Can I just say how beautiful our temple is here in San Diego?

Being there in the middle of the day almost exactly 48 hours before our sealing was just so lovely.  I probably saw about 3 other people on the temple grounds and I just couldn't help but smile so big because in 48 hours I would be entering the temple to be sealed to my sweetheart. I had to take a photo of my time there today because the temple was just so exquisite and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest with excitement.

11 sleeps.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to this night, 11 days ago. It was a wonderful, splendid evening. We were a bit crowded in my sister's backyard which made it even more cozy and intimate. I loved having so many loved ones in one space.

  

It was simple but it had good music and good food with great people, which is all I wanted. 

I love summer night dinner parties. But I loved this summer night dinner party the best.

The ride home tonight.

On the way home tonight, from visiting with my sister and niece, I broke down crying. I didn't cry much today and thought it was successful that I only cried once until the ride home.

It's still hard for me to drive through IB without thinking of where I used to live with them about 4 years ago and where they lived up until last year. It made me miss them as we passed that neighborhood and it made me think of my Dad. Slowly the water works started to happen. A few freeway exits later, I was full on sobbing. I told Levi that I don't think my heart will ever fully heal from this. I think my heart will forever feel like a chunk is missing. Some say that time heals wounds but I just don't feel like all the time in the world will heal this. It's only been about 1.5 days and it already feels like a very long time. I'm only 36 years old and I've got a very long time before I'll see him again. I can't wrap my head around it and my heart can't handle this separation. I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice in return. I hate this. I hate this so much. I try to think of how I dealt with this when my Kuku & Tutu passed away 15 & 14 years ago. I miss hearing their voices. I miss conversing with them.  

I'm selfish because I just want my Dad here. I look at old photos and I wish I could have my Dad stand next to me again. I just want to hear his voice say my name again. 

As we were sharing stories at my sister's tonight, I just couldn't believe I forgot about my time spent with him on Friday (August 4). When I went into his room, after our road trip out to Vegas, he reached for my hand and slowly brought it up to his mouth. He kissed the back of my hand. I honestly don't remember much of my brief moment with him because I was sleep deprived and longing for a nap. 

Part of me wants to kick myself for not spending more time with him that day.  The more I think about it, I get angry at myself for all those missed opportunities. Then it makes me sad. It's such a vicious cycle when you're grieving. 

I feel like I've rubbed my face raw from the continuous crying. I just can't imagine this world without my Dad in it. I'm grateful I have an eternity with him. I'm going to need it. 

My Dad.

I just want the world to stop with me for a day or two. I just want to look at photos of my Dad. I want to listen to all of the voicemails I have saved on my phone. I want to share all of my most treasured stories and memories of him. I want to hear his voice again. My eyes and face are so red and swollen from crying all day.  I'm so sleepy but I can't sleep. The first few seconds upon waking up are blissful because I forget the pain for just a moment. Then it hits me, like a ton of bricks. All over again, it hits me hard like the air is knocked out of me completely. I've sobbed so many times during the day today and I know I am not done crying.  I've never experienced heartache and loss like this before. It is the worst pain and emptiness I have ever felt. 

I miss my Dad. My heart is trying to understand what my mind knows of the eternal plan of my Heavenly Father. For now, I am selfish and I want to hold my Dad again, right now. I wish I could hear my Dad's voice reassure me at this time. 

I just hope that my Dad knows how much I will always love him. 

3 Sleeps.

In 2 days, we'll be going to the San Diego LDS temple to be sealed. TWO DAYS!! My mind is constantly thinking of what we need to accomplish within the next two days. Sometimes I have to take a step back to remember what's most important. I don't feel stressed (yet?) because my awesome sister and best friend have been so tremendously helpful with planning and executing our dinner party. 

I'm looking forward to the temple and feeling the spiritual peace and safe shelter from the busyness and craziness of this world. I long to be there again with my sweetheart, to take it all in again. I feel like life slows down a bit there and I seriously crave that. 

I don't know if I'd say that I'm nervous for our sealing. Most new experiences would make me extremely nervous but for now, I feel relatively calm. Perhaps I will feel a tinge of sadness because my parents won't be in attendance. I wish with all my heart that they could attend but traveling would take a lot out of them. I owe so much to my parents and for all that they've taught me about the temple. Their love and dedication to temple service was engrained in me while I was a child and through my teenage years. 

Most of all, I owe it to my sweetheart. Embracing this gospel and being baptized into this Mormon religion & culture has been a tremendous adventure. I appreciate his faith and diligence to help give me eternity with him. I can't think of any better way to celebrate our wedding anniversary than to be sealed for time and all eternity, surrounded by our closest and dearest loved ones. 

I just can't believe it, I'm actually going to be sealed in the temple! I thought for sure this blessing wouldn't come until I had passed on. Thank you Levi for loving me so much to do this for us and our future family. I love you sweetheart.

How is it July already?!?

It's now LESS THAN A MONTH until Levi and I will be sealed in the temple! Seriously..... Wasn't it just May?! 

I'm suddenly feeling very panicked and anxious because I need to pull all the details of our dinner party together, ASAP!!! Seriously, I almost want to freak out because on top of it all, I'll still need to pack for our second honeymoon afterwards. Arrggg..... I can't stand packing!!

I haven't blogged since Mother's Day. Where in the world did June disappear to?!?? 

Had a few doctor appointments in early May. I made a pact with my doctor that I'd start working out. Went to the gym that night and didn't stop going until last week (hurt my shoulder). I've seriously enjoyed the gym so much!! I especially enjoy it with my sweetheart! I bought myself a new Fitbit and picked one up for Levi too! It's been a lot of fun! 

The highs: I was able to watch The Godfather in theaters! Seriously so cool! 

The lows: BiggieSmalls the snail died. I miss that little guy in my fish tank! I need to pick up another snail soon. 

I'm glad I was able to see so many old friends, my in-laws and most especially my nephew Bubba & his wife Sis! I'm glad June was a month of reconnecting and seeing some of my old friends & favorite peeps. 

What's in store for July? 

-A LOT more gym time!!! In a month, I'm already down 10 pounds. 

-Creating the decorations for our dinner party. 

-Levi & his temple endowment! Such exciting times, for sure!!

Mother's Day.

I didn't realize till this morning that the 3 photos I have saved in my jewelry box are of those women who helped get me here. I love this photo of my Mom and I that I recently found.

I wonder what must have been going through my Mom's mind and heart, in this photo.

The second is maternal grandmother, my Tutu.

It's been 14 years since she passed and I wish I could have at least 5 minutes just to hug her and hear her voice again. 

The last photo is my paternal grandmother, Grandma Salote. 

 I never met her in this life and it's hard to remember her voice during our long distance phone calls when I was a kid.

Church was nice, today. As always, my favorite part is when the Primary children sing. At the end of Sacrament meeting, the youth passed out flowers to all the women.

That's always so thoughtful. For the first time ever, we had a brunch for the Relief Society hour. It was so very nice! 

 I'm thankful for the time I've had today to reflect upon those good women in my life who are mothers to me, both genetically, figuratively & through their examples. 

Hopeful.

I had a brief moment tonight of seeing my baby's face. I don't know if it was a boy or a girl but they had the most beautiful, soft, light brown skin. Their cheeks were perfectly heavenly. I could see all of their face and their eyes looked up at me with so much love.  My heart stopped for a brief moment in this wonderment and it made me hopeful and very desirous.

I looked at my husband and more than ever before, I wanted a baby. My heart wanted to burst with every emotion possible. Every single cell in my body longed for, needed, wanted, hoped and desired to become pregnant someday soon. I had never wanted anything more than that sweet baby I caught a glimpse of.

Cinco: 5 on 5 {favorites!}

1. I am a fan of my Levi. He listens to me and talk and talk and talk and talk. He is patient and loves me to no end. He endures my moments of being feisty.  He's my best friend and I am beyond lucky.

2. Pottery! I could seriously play this game ALL DAY, EVERY DAY!!! 

3. Anytime I get to talk with my nephews & niece is a good day!  I'm thankful I was able to talk to 3 out of 4 of them.  I could only chat w/ the oldest one, but that was still so nice.

4.  I was able to do a lil service for one of my visiting teaching sisters by making cookies for her mom's funeral.  Sometimes, service isn't convenient, but I did my very best to be in a good mood so late at night.  I had a very nice experience and thoroughly enjoyed making 8 dozen cookies!

5. I'm looking forward to starting this with Levi, this week!  I love activities that bring us together!  Plus, it'll help our health improve.  To be honest, I can't wait to start using my new Aelec earphones at the gym!

Back to Normal!

All last week, our database system (server) was down. We prepared our physical case files for scanning, which meant A WHOLE LOT of staples, paperclips & binder clips were removed. 

As tedious as it was, it could have always been worse! However, I am so thankful that work is back to normal! I've got a lot on my plate this week playing catch up, that's for sure!

Temple Tuesday & Work!

Our database system at work has been down all week. It's been ROUGH! It puts us at a standstill. Since Monday, I, along with others, have been pulling staples out of old filings to prepare them to be scanned. I probably have a cup worth of staples I've pulled out so far.

Today was Administrative Professionals day. I work at such an awesome law firm. I thoroughly enjoy the staff and attorneys I work with. We were gifted with a chair massage today. Seriously, I felt like BUTTER!!! It was exactly what my shoulders and neck needed!!! Man I need more massages in my life!!

Last night, Levi went to the temple for the first time to do temple baptisms.

Man, I miss the temple and NEED to go more often!!! Seriously, it was perfectly peaceful sitting next to him as the temple president welcomed us. I loved being there with him. His eagerness makes me excited to take him to the Celestial room. 

Just last week, I called to set a date and time for our temple sealing. I cried happy tears when I got off the phone! I just can't believe it! Eternity is right around the corner!! Today, the missionary who helped get this all going emailed me on Facebook to ask if I remembered him. I will never forget Elder Godby. He helped give me eternity with my sweetheart. I will always be grateful for his persistence to share a gospel message with us. I just can't believe it, I'm going to have my own eternal family with Levi and I'm ecstatic!

Novee.

Today (3/27) my niece's birthday. I just can't believe how fast time is flying by. I sometimes feel a lil sad because I don't live as close to her as I did when her brothers were this age. I can't believe how she's my height (probably taller, but she lets me think otherwise) now. I wish I could just dial back the years and spend more time with her. She's always been such a sweet, kind hearted girl. I'm grateful to have this warm soul in our family. I hope she never loses sweetness. It just blows my mind that she used to be this tiny beautiful baby. 

Seriously, she was the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on.  I hoped that if I'm ever blessed with a baby girl, that she turns out as beautiful, sweet, kind, and tender as my niece. 

Happy birthday little girl! I love you my little Novee.

In short...

I've been writing in my journal more and I love it! I really need to update this blog in the most serious way. I'll add that to my list of things to do this week. Perhaps I could have worked on it today, since I stayed home from work. Eh, then again I was having a Sex and the City marathon and trying to lay oh so still today. But for now, my husband has rolled over on to my left arm and I'm trying to do my best to blog with my right hand. With that said, I'll come back later to blog more when I can use both arms and hands.

Days like this...

This morning, as we were getting ready for church, I laid out my church clothes; grey cardigan, black & white buttoned blouse, black pencil skirt & red tights. 

Levi asked that I pass his church clothes over from our closet: khaki pants, short sleeve white shirt and 3 neckties that were hanging from his shirt hanger. 

As we were driving to church, I asked him why he decided to go with his black & red tie. He told me it was to go with my red tights. My heart swelled even bigger than it had already grown from the night before. 

Last night, I had an emotional breakdown. With 4 friends who recently gave birth in the last month, I couldn't help but feel a little envious of their new role of motherhood. I don't really talk about this much outside my marriage. After visiting our new baby nephew yesterday, my heartstrings were pulled pretty tight. I don't really want to divulge much about my tear filled conversation with Levi, but my heart could burst at his tender and sensitive spirit. I could feel all the tenderness from his heart reassure me. I felt the deepest corners of his heart love me in the way that I needed, in that very moment.

I'm so thankful that God handpicked this man to place in my life and experience all of life's adventures with. My cup runneth o'er.