Day 4.

I've never been this exhausted before. I am physically, mentally and emotionally spent. I just want to go home and sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. I want to sleep on my perfectly comfortable bed. I want to see my husband for more than 2 hours. I just want to sleep and feel like a human again. 

Just seeing my husband and being able to speak in complete sentences, at a normal volume, was so great. Plus, to be able to laugh and be funny was even better. I miss being able to just communicate like that with another person. I miss laughter. It was nice to decompress for a very short moment, last night. 

I just want to go home and sit on my couch with bare feet. I miss the peace of my home and the gentleness of Levi's voice. I feel like half of my heart is missing from my chest. I feel incomplete without him by my side. Going to sleep on my massage table is hard, for so many reasons, but not having him by my side is the hardest.  

I'm doing what I'm doing because I love my Dad. I know he would do the same if the roles were reversed. He's been thanking me profusely since I arrived Friday night. I know he's grateful. Last night, he thanked me for my service. That means a lot to me, coming from the person who always taught me about service, by example.

Then Wake Up and Do Something More!

Last week, as I found myself driving home in the dark, the words of a beloved hymn came to mind....

Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?

If not, I have failed indeed.

Has anyone's burden been lighter today

Because I was willing to share?

Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?

When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more

Than dream of your mansion above.

Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,

A blessing of duty and love.

 There are chances for work all around just now,

Opportunities right in our way.

Do not let them pass by, saying, "Sometime I'll try,"

But go and do something today.

'Tis noble of man to work and to give;

Love's labor has merit alone.

Only he who does something helps others to live.

To God each good work will be known.

I love this hymn.  It is so beautiful in the way of how we can and should do service.  Everything I've ever learned about service, my father taught me by example.  I will always be so grateful for his example. 

I got to thinking about my life and what I can do each day to serve.  Two things came to mind, if I can make someone laugh and serve someone, then I'm good.  Those are two things I plan on striving for, each day.  It may not seem like a lot, but it makes my day so much better.  

As my Dad said, "LDS stands for 'Let's Do Service or Let's Do Something!"  

Thanks Dad! 

I love to see the temple....

I'm so excited for my niece, tonight!  

She gets to go to the San Diego LDS temple for the first time, to do temple service for those who have passed away.

It was so nice being able to share with her some of my own temple experiences and knowledge.  
It's also fun helping her prepare her bag and set her hair for temple baptisms.  

I hope she comes to love the temple as much as I do. 

Service & Stake Presidents.

(typed on Sunday, Nov. 11)
Today, I attended my home stake's conference, in Chula Vista.  It was going to be a memorable one since Pres. Clove and his counselors were going to be released.  Before the conference started, I walked out to the foyer trying to put the finishing touches on the ti-leaf lei I made for Pres. Clove as well as the new stake president.  As I approached the chapel doors, I asked the usher for a program.  Before Bro. Dixon gave me a program, he first asked if I prayed today.  After I answered, he cheerfully gave me a program.
I didn't know that a few minutes later, he would be called to the stand to as our new stake president for Chula Vista.  Oh man, I was humbled as he approached the stand still wearing his white "Usher" pin on his suit coat. I couldn't help but think of...

"But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant"

Matthew 23:11

Who knew that the brother standing at the door, passing out programs, would be called and sustained as  our next stake president?!  (I'm thankful I had an answer for his question, considering he'll be the one to sign off on my temple recommend.)  When I saw Pres. Dixon walk up to the stand (I was already sitting on the stand, with the choir), and then approach the pulpit with his "Usher" pin, I was sincerely humbled.  I couldn't help but think of how we can all serve, wherever we are needed, no matter who we are and what we are.  

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Matt. 25:40

I'm sad to see Pres. Clove released.  He has been such a wonderful stake president.  I love him dearly because he has always been so kind to me, and got to know me on a personal level.   He wasn't a distant stake president, but felt more like a friend.  After I shaved my head, he even asked to rub it.  How many stake presidents do that?!   He always had such a big, cheerful smile which radiated and warmed others.  I'm truly grateful that I've had the opportunity to receive his counsel and hear his heartfelt testimony of Christ and His gospel.  I looked forward to every opportunity to hear him speak.  His stories inspired a goodly change.  I will surely miss hearing him speak.  It's been a wonderful 9 years of service.  Thank you President Clove.  

Bub's Bday, Tijuana Temple & Peej's Wedding!

Last Sunday, was my nephew Bub's 20th birthday!! 20!!! Where has 20 years gone?!?! I'm so truly grateful for my nephew Bub.  In the family, he's one of my best friends.  I just love hanging out with him, it's always such a good time!!  We laugh a lot and our sense of humor is quite similar.  He's always had a special place in my heart since he was born.  He wasn't able to come home, right away, from the hospital and that was the first time I experienced such sadness.  I just wanted this broad chested baby to come home with his family.  I remember crying and not understanding all that was happening.  He came home a day later and it's been such a blessing ever since.  He is truly his name! In English, it's translated to "Love Never Ending" and it couldn't be more true.  It's impossible to ever be mad at him, for long.  Even if such a thing happens, he knows how to crack a joke and suddenly you're the best of friends, again.  As someone who can hold a grudge, this frustrates me when I'm steaming mad at him, because it all disappears a minute later.

He's a gentle giant (6'3) and befriends all.  He will be a blessing to all those he'll come across while he serves his 2 year LDS mission in the Philippines (that begins in about a week & a half)  Too soon :(  I will miss him tremendously. I already do, since he's been living in Utah for the last year and a half. I miss him whenever I can't find my glasses in the morning.  I could always count on him to come find them for me, after I gave up stumbling around, blindly.  He puts up with my [occasionally lame] jokes, and lets me lightly scratch the side of his stomach past the point of annoyance.  He also doesn't get too mad when I call him, "Bubbie" and is always up for a game of "500"/Rummy with me.  My heart is so full of love for this wonderful nephew of mine.  HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BUB!

This will be the Tijuana Mexico LDS temple!! 

As I've been typing this post, I've been watching the streaming of the groundbreaking.  I cannot even begin to describe the feelings in my heart.  Tears have been streaming down my face and clouding my eyes over and my t-shirt is wet from repeatedly wiping my face.  My heart is so full of love and gratitude that Heavenly Father has finally saw fit to bless the members in Tijuana, Mexico with their very own temple.  When I worked as an ordinance worker at the San Diego temple, the saints from Mexico would flood the temple on Saturday mornings.  They would come with joy in their hearts and a smile on their face.  Of course, most members are like that when they attend the temple, but I know the hardship of crossing the US/Mexico border....it is not fun and it is NOT short.  Sometimes, you can easily be in line for 2+ hours!   Yet they come, faithful and happy!  I think of all those saints that don't have the proper documentation to cross over, how blessed they will be to go to the temple in their own city and country.  

Right now, I live about 30 minutes away from the San Diego temple.  After mapping out this new temple, I am 18 minutes away!!  I will definitely be attending the temple a lot more in Tijuana!  Of course, I'll have to brush up on my Spanish, but I'm thankful for translation devices the temple offers.  I'm also excited for the food that will be served in their cafeteria.  Temple food is DELICIOUS, so I can only imagine what MEXICAN TEMPLE FOOD will be like!! ORALE! :) 

My very dear friend, PajamaPants will be marrying his fiance.  I'm excited for my friend to start his new life with his partner.  PajamaPants means the world to me and I am elated that he wants me to be a part of his celebration of love.  I will be there to support my friend and his happiness. However, I will not be there alone.....   I asked Mr. Red to be my date and I'm friggin ECSTATIC!!! Oh yes baby, I am!! I told PajamaPants that I don't know who's more excited for his wedding, him or me.  Just kiddin'....  Anyways, I'm stoked because I just LOVE LOVE LOVE hanging out with Mr. Red and PajamaPants.  They both came to church, last year on my birthday, because I asked them to.  Anyways, I'm stoked because I'll get to see Mr. Red dressed up, and smelling OH SO DAMN DELICIOUS!! Oh I LOOOOOOOOOOVE his cologne!! It'll be a "brown wedding" so there will be GOOD FOOD and GREAT MUSIC for dancing!! Oh yeah baby, this will be an AMAAAAAAAAAAZING night!!  Oh yes indeed!!

My Mom's in Hawaii right now, for a family reunion and to visit her sister who's recently had two strokes.  I've stayed back to take care of my Dad.  Man, is it a humbling experience, especially after my last post.  It's hard for me to hold feelings of resentment and bitterness towards him as I serve him.  He's blind and a diabetic, so I've got to cook all of his meals and makes sure they're nutritionally good for him.  It's not a burden, because I love to cook for others.  This is a good blessing for me to learn to serve him.  I cook for my parents often, but it's a lil different since my Dad & I haven't been getting along lately.  He's been really grateful for everything I've done for him since my Mom left. I just hope it helps our relationship.

Ok, with that said, I've gotta get breakfast started....

What a wonderful day it's been so far! How often does one get to watch a temple groundbreaking?  Spectacular!  

The Gift of GIVING.

As I've been attending the Pacific Beach ward, I've come to learn more about Giving.

One of my favorite Sunday school teachers bears testimony about how he gives every time he can.  If he doesn't have anything to give, he feels it in his heart that if he did have something he would give it.  I like his example. I need to be more like that.  And I tried, one day, not too long ago....

I was walking into Vons and tried to look preoccupied so I could avoid the person who was asking for a handout.  I didn't want to turn down another person because I NEVER have cash on me.  I can't stand turning someone down.  I feel terrible.  As I was shopping, I thought I'd get some food from the deli for the person outside.   Once I was outside, he was no where in sight! Nor did I even know what he looked like, exactly--since I didn't look up, while walking in. My fault.  I circled the parking lot--nothing.  I was so disappointed. Why didn't I tell the stranger to just wait for a few minutes til I came back out? Why didn't I acknowledge him?  I went home and ate the food, but it didn't taste good at all, knowing that it was never intended for me.

A woman in my ward was sharing an experience she had recently about taking a friend to the airport.  After she dropped her off, she took a box of Cuties (oranges) and passed them out downtown to homeless people.  In Relief Society, the teacher shared a scripture with us;

"...Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." -Matt. 25:45

She emphasized the word, "not".  It made me think, what have I NOT done to others? I thought about my Sunday school teacher, I thought about the man at Vons,  and all the other people I see on the side of the road with their cardboard signs.  

Every morning, when I head into the office, I always see a man at the last stoplight before the office.   I always feel bad because I have nothing to give him.  But I made a decision, I would start to grab an extra fruit when I pack my lunch, so I could give him something.  I couldn't help but think of the above scripture.  When I was denying him food, I was denying serving Christ.  I've decided to make a more a conscious effort to be more giving.  

This past weekend, my nephew Sim reminded me of one of his favorite service moments.  It was a time, when I went out with my nephews to pick up pizza for dinner. I forgot about that time, but I'm grateful for his reminder.  We went to Lil' Cesars to pick up pizzas for the family.  However, we headed back in as I asked my nephews if "they wanted to do something cool!"  I remember they all agreed and lit up.  We got another pizza and headed over to where several homeless people communed together.  I remember once we got back to the car, they were happy and a lil more quiet.  My nephew, then a teenager, said that it really affected him, and he often shared that experience on his mission.  I'm glad he reminded me of that incident.  

After shopping this past Saturday, my niece and I grabbed some Lil Cesars pizza, and finished all but 3 slices.  We tried to give it away, but couldn't find anyone.  We were sad.  We even drove around to find people....no luck.  

But I won't let it stop there.  This is my goal for life... and not just a goal for the holiday, or for the year.  I plan on never taking home 'left overs'/doggy bags.  My goal is to give it away to someone less fortunate, so that I can help someone not go to sleep hungry, at least for one night.  It's the least I can do for another.

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

What makes a Monday morning even BETTER?

1. A GOOD laugh! As I was walking into Albertsons this morning, I tripped on a mat. My sister was busy reading something, but there was a man who witnessed it all and started to smile. I didn't fall, but I did stumble around for a bit. I couldn't help but laugh out loud! I looked completely foolish, and jokingly said, "I should have just waited in the car! Happy Monday to me!" I had huge grin on my face....as well as the man who was still watching me.

2. Bob Marley music! I usually listen to my iPod in the car, but had the radio on instead.  So glad! Bob Marley just makes life so much sweeter! How can you ever be in a bad mood after listening to his music?! Love him!

3. Service for others!  After dropping off my sister, nephew & niece, I came home and planned on just making breakfast for myself. Instead, I made a few more fried eggs, bacon and oatmeal for my parents. It felt good to serve. They do so much for me, it's good to give back.  

By golly, I think today's gonna be good day.... I can just feel it! :)

p.s. Things are getting better with my new singles ward. [Pacific Beach ward = PB] More people are remembering my name and opening up. I like that!  It helped that I joined ward choir last week.  However, I was asked by the music director to sing a duet for our Christmas program.  I didn't know, at the time of asking, that it was to be a duet...for Gesu Bambino.  I thought I knew the song...thank goodness for YouTube! OH MAN!!! And I'm singing the 1st Soprano part.  Pray for me.  I also got a Visiting Teaching route. I'm glad! ...and I was asked to speak next Sunday, on Tithing.  Alrighty... I think I'm officially in the ward now.  Mr. Red said he'd come with me, next Sunday.  Hmmm....

Charity Never Faileth!

Can I just say, that I truly LOVE serving as a Relief Society president! It has seriously been such an AWESOME blessing!! I've tremendously ENJOYED this opportunity to love and serve the sisters in my ward.  I truly needed this calling.  I haven't been feeling like myself in the last several months. I've started to feel like I had a black heart, one that didn't like to serve or even the thought of it.  I think it had to do with the some private family matters that I've been dealing with the last 2 years.  It made me bitter and hard hearted....I didn't feel like myself.  I even started to feel annoyed if I was asked to play the piano at church.  I didn't grow up that way.  I was raised by my father's amazing example of service.  I didn't learn about service through words, it was by pure example.  My father taught me that "LDS" not only stood for "Latter-day Saint" but "LET'S DO SOMETHING" or "LET'S DO SERVICE".   I'm so grateful for this opportunity to serve. My biggest worry when I was extended this calling was, "How am I going to love ALL the sisters?".  Then I remembered something I learned on my mission, "Serve them until you love them and then you'll love to serve them." I LOVE getting to know the sisters.  They are such wonderful and beautiful sisters, inside and out!  

I always thought my mission would be my most favorite calling.  Then I was called to serve as an ordinance worker at the San Diego LDS temple, and soon that became my favorite calling.  I didn't think anything would top those two....but now I'm starting to think otherwise.♥