As I've been attending the Pacific Beach ward, I've come to learn more about Giving.
One of my favorite Sunday school teachers bears testimony about how he gives every time he can. If he doesn't have anything to give, he feels it in his heart that if he did have something he would give it. I like his example. I need to be more like that. And I tried, one day, not too long ago....
I was walking into Vons and tried to look preoccupied so I could avoid the person who was asking for a handout. I didn't want to turn down another person because I NEVER have cash on me. I can't stand turning someone down. I feel terrible. As I was shopping, I thought I'd get some food from the deli for the person outside. Once I was outside, he was no where in sight! Nor did I even know what he looked like, exactly--since I didn't look up, while walking in. My fault. I circled the parking lot--nothing. I was so disappointed. Why didn't I tell the stranger to just wait for a few minutes til I came back out? Why didn't I acknowledge him? I went home and ate the food, but it didn't taste good at all, knowing that it was never intended for me.
A woman in my ward was sharing an experience she had recently about taking a friend to the airport. After she dropped her off, she took a box of Cuties (oranges) and passed them out downtown to homeless people. In Relief Society, the teacher shared a scripture with us;
"...Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." -Matt. 25:45
She emphasized the word, "not". It made me think, what have I NOT done to others? I thought about my Sunday school teacher, I thought about the man at Vons, and all the other people I see on the side of the road with their cardboard signs.
Every morning, when I head into the office, I always see a man at the last stoplight before the office. I always feel bad because I have nothing to give him. But I made a decision, I would start to grab an extra fruit when I pack my lunch, so I could give him something. I couldn't help but think of the above scripture. When I was denying him food, I was denying serving Christ. I've decided to make a more a conscious effort to be more giving.
This past weekend, my nephew Sim reminded me of one of his favorite service moments. It was a time, when I went out with my nephews to pick up pizza for dinner. I forgot about that time, but I'm grateful for his reminder. We went to Lil' Cesars to pick up pizzas for the family. However, we headed back in as I asked my nephews if "they wanted to do something cool!" I remember they all agreed and lit up. We got another pizza and headed over to where several homeless people communed together. I remember once we got back to the car, they were happy and a lil more quiet. My nephew, then a teenager, said that it really affected him, and he often shared that experience on his mission. I'm glad he reminded me of that incident.
After shopping this past Saturday, my niece and I grabbed some Lil Cesars pizza, and finished all but 3 slices. We tried to give it away, but couldn't find anyone. We were sad. We even drove around to find people....no luck.
But I won't let it stop there. This is my goal for life... and not just a goal for the holiday, or for the year. I plan on never taking home 'left overs'/doggy bags. My goal is to give it away to someone less fortunate, so that I can help someone not go to sleep hungry, at least for one night. It's the least I can do for another.
