Thursday, March 11, 2010

A good life, interrupted.

As I was driving home last night, I started to think of my life a year ago.

A year ago, life seemed pretty perfect....
I was happy, I loved life and I loved my family with all of my heart.
I would always prefer to be home, than anywhere else.
I had a job I thoroughly enjoyed and worked with trust worthy people.
My health was pretty great.
My new-ish car ran smoothly.
Everything I believed in marriage was concrete.
I loved working at the San Diego LDS Temple on Saturdays.
Life was good, life was really good!

One decision, one tremendously selfish decision has made my life-a year ago-seem like ions ago. I wish I could go back to those happier times. I wish I could go back to thinking that "Life is great". I wish I could be surrounded by those I love the most. I wish I could find happiness at home, instead that's the last place I rather be. I hate crying over my nephews, niece and sister being so far away. I hate the fact that the ones I love the most are the ones being hurt constantly. I hate having a heart full of hate and hating someone I use to look up to. I hate deceit on a daily basis. I HATE IT!!! I hate the way my once happy heart is now full of hate. Unfortunately, this is my life, for now....
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