It's 12:46am

I should be sleeping.

I can't sleep.

I packed way too fast and now I'm second guessing myself. Did I REALLY pack EVERYTHING I need??? It's almost too good to be true!

I have so much on my mind. I really do wish my sister and I had the same flight out....that would have really put me at ease. I HATE take off and MOST ESPECIALLY, turbulence.

I can't sleep because I'm so happy, yet so sad to visit my mission. It won't be the same... I would have wished to have gone back with an ol' companion. Two of the most beloved members I have ever met, have both passed away. I always wanted to go back to see them, they meant a lot to me. They were like my adopted mothers. My heart is heavy and my mind is flooded with "coulda, shoulda, woulda" thoughts. It will be nice to go visit New Jersey....but it just won't be the same.

I should really get some sleep. It'll be no fun eating an authentic Philly Cheesesteak if I'm half asleep. :)

Why it pays to be nice to 'wrong number' phone calls....

So today, I had the most interesting phone call.

A 'wrong number' phone call....but very interesting, to say the least.

I was packing my suitcase and my phone started to ring. I didn't recognize the number, but it was a local number so I thought I'd answer it. I hardly ever answer numbers I don't recognize, but figured, 'what did I have to lose?'.

Me: Hellooo?

Him: Hey! What are you doing??

(Thoughts crossed my mind as to who it could be....Doc? Camp? Bubba?? The person on the other end of the phone sounded really nice, as though he knew me.)

Me: [in my most pleasant voice] I think you have the wrong number.

Him: Is this not Michelle?

Me: Nope, sorry.

Him: Haha, oh ok. Sorry about that.

Me: No worries, hope you find her. Bye.

Him: See ya later.

Then I started to think, "Damn, why didn't I just answer his question and go with it, ya know??" He sounded very nice, pleasant and I really wish I stayed talking to this stranger and most welcome distraction.

Next thing I know, I receive a text: "Wow, sexy voice....lol".

WOW, really....from a 16 second phone call?? Hmm, ok...well, it is a compliment after all. I was really flattered, I mean, it was ALL totally unexpected.

So I responded: "I almost wish I kept talking to you. You did sound pretty nice. Gotta say that's the first 'wrong number' where I really didn't mind. Call anytime :) "

AND HE DID!! We talked for about 15 minutes. We traded pictures and he seems like a fun and nice guy. He did make me laugh, so that's a definite plus. He said that his sister gave him 'my' number to call her daughter (his niece). He was a lil confused when the woman on the other end of the phone sounded older and more mature than his niece. We talked about our relationship status, where we live, our jobs and what we're looking for in life (He's divorced and just working a lot, always looking to make new friends, especially those of the opposite sex). I told him, "By the way, just to answer your question from your previous phone call, I'm currently packing for my trip to Philly". He thought that was funny and then sounded a lil disappointed that I wouldn't be back for a week & a half.....

...because he asked me out.

We're just going to Starbucks, so it's not a big deal...but it is pretty random, right?

Wow, gotta say..... I didn't expect my Thursday to turn out like this--95% packed & I scored a date when I get back from Philly.

GO EHU!! :)

Because it's Thursday....

...and this photo makes me laugh & smile:

It makes me laugh because of the way Mr. Red's standing and the fact that I look like such a tool!! (It was the Halloween party at church, a couple nights ago.)

I can't help but smile for so many reasons... {but here's 5 of them}:

1. He looks so ridiculously cute! From the hat to the shiny shoes...I just want to hug him and squeeze him!! [and did because he smells DELICIOUS!!] And honestly, his body looks smokin' hot in it.

2. I asked him to wear this weeks ago and he adamantly fought against it! I just wanted to see him in it. By the grace of God, he finally gave in :) And he wore it...just for me, because he took it off right after and changed into a toga for the party.

3. I love the way he's standing! I have NO idea why he's standing like that...but I seriously laugh every time I notice that!

4. He looks like the Cracker Jack boy--SO adorable!!

5. He had to pee sooooooo badly and he waited til I got there [a half hour late] just so I could see him in it and take photos. Notice the non-zipper fly pants...13 buttons between him and the restroom. I felt TERRIBLE that I was extremely late, but he wasn't annoyed and didn't make me feel bad, at all.

It was a great evening and a very fun night!

Happy Thursday!

Things I should be doing: Packing.

I hate packing.

I'm not the best packer in the world.

I just want to take EVERYTHING I own with me....but I can't.

I like options, or at least the option of a washing machine in case I want to wear something again.

Ugh.....

I hate packing.

Things I remembered this weekend:

-I like to cuddle, seriously, I'm a cuddle whore. I need to touch people and long to be touched. [Don't take that the wrong way.... Eh, take that in whatever way you want, I don't care.]

-I love Camp. Seriously, he always makes a bad day better and a good day great!! He gave me the best compliment yesterday and I will treasure that for a while. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way he smells so delicious. I especially LOVE it when he pulls me into his chest during our hugs/vertical cuddle time. I can't wait to see him tonight!!

-I love surfers. Seriously, they're HOT!!

-Kissing's fun...but only if you're kissing someone you have feelings for {and vice versa}. Otherwise, it's pretty much pointless.

-I have the best friends, EVER!

Void.

It's Saturday night....and I have several things on my mind.

Yesterday, I was both happy and sad, at the same time. Odd. I've never quite been like that before. I was happy for little surprises that have come into my life recently. But I was also sad because of certain voids that have occurred in my life recently.

I don't like that feeling. I rather be one or the other...but not both, at the same time. It's like they cancel out each other.

Sometimes, I wonder why I do certain things....

Why do I allow some people into my life?

Why do I trust them?

Why do I allow certain individuals to see a side of me that I would rather keep safe guarded?

Why do I love so deeply?

In the last couple of weeks, I became close to someone. I trusted him so quickly and showed him a part of me that I don't even let close friends see. As scary as it should have been, it wasn't. I allowed myself to feel vulnerable with him and I didn't think twice about it. I loved talking with him because I could freely speak my mind and didn't worry that he would think me to be insensitive, blunt, ridiculous or anything else along those lines. I didn't feel embarrassed about certain things that I should have....it was nice. It was all very comforting.

I miss that. I miss him. Sometimes, life turns out that way.

The 30 day blog challenge:

I'm stoked for this to start tomorrow!

Last night.

I had fun.

I ate Creme Brule gelato.

Ran in the rain with a friend.

And laughed, a lot.

Gratitude.

In the last week or so, I've become a lot closer with two friends. They'll never know how much they've done for me just by being my friend, listening to me and making me laugh. I may have sounded like a broken record most of the time, but the fact that they stayed by and listened or responded to my texts really means a lot to me. They came in and hugged me when I felt cold and lonely. I hope I can do for others what they've done for me in the last week.

Thank you Ceecee & Stephanie, I love you two dearly.

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me with such caring angels disguised as friends.

♥♥

Done.

Today, I feel like this song.

I'm done.

I'm done hoping, wishing, wanting to fall in love, liking guys.... I'm just done.

I hate the fact that I opened up and allowed myself to be so extremely vulnerable.

I wish I could take ALL of it back and that it NEVER happened.

Never again....I'm done.

A letter to myself...cause sometimes it's needed.

Dear Ehu,

Well you've had a rough couple of days this week. No bueno :( . But you've been so blessed with a loving sister and caring friends to help you through it. No one likes getting rejected, of course not. But is he really worth your tears and your heartache? Maybe? Maybe not? It was fun though, right? ;)

Now you've got a terrific opportunity of change. Change is good!! It'll be a great thing! New people, new adventures..."New" is the new black! Just think of all the new people you'll meet, the new friends you'll make and maybe even the new guys you can check out. Sweet, right?! I think so!!

Yes, you'll miss your friends but you know that this short separation will only strengthen those friendships, as it's done in the past.

So chin up! Make the most of this change and enjoy every second of it. Let's "make tracks, don't look back". Get out there!! Start living life again! We've only got one chance at this thing called "Life"....don't let another second pass you by! You're Ehu for crying out loud!! The awesome, funny, smart, spiritual and sarcastic woman everyone loves to be around!! What happened to her?? We miss her and WANT to see her soon!

This will be a very good thing, I promise!

Love,

Me.

The F Bomb.

About a month ago, I said:

"There's more fish in the sea, but I think I'm done fishing for now. The good ol' fishing pole is going away for a season."

But then an acquaintance turned into a friend, as I was trying to put away the 'fishing pole'. I started to like him. He's totally cute, exactly my type. It was rather easy & comfortable being open and honest with him, it was nice. It is nice. We went on a date and hung out and that was all really fun....

Til the "F" bomb is dropped on you---"I'd like to just be FRIENDS".

Then it makes you want to drop another type of "F" bomb.

UGH...why didn't I just stick to the original plan from a month ago. Ok, seriously I'm just going to break the stupid proverbial fishing pole over my knee and throw it away. I'm done. I'M SO FREAKIN DONE!!

As a close guy friend told me yesterday, "Dating is a big psychological game".

Yes, yes it @#+?*%& is!!

The Tuesday Evening Post.

(This is my nephew, Bub. We decided to go play softball in the dang heat [ie:HADES!!!]. I wanted to cry, but I do like this picture though.)

So, life as of late....

I'll be going to Philadelphia & New Jersey at the end of this month! I'm so freakin' excited!! I would cry, but I'm just so happy and can't wait!! I can't wait to see the pretty Fall season of the east coast. I can't wait to just take it all in again!! I've missed it these last 6.5 years!! I'll get to hang out with my sister and her friends, so I'm stoked! The only downside: I'll have to fly by myself. I'm rather bummed about it...but HELLO--ALL EXPENSES PAID + getting paid on top of that=VERY HAPPY EHU!!!

Hmm, nothing too crazy to report. I hope my last blog post didn't get anyone excited for an upcoming engagement. I was just curious as to who really reads this stuff...

Other than that, I've been rather happy lately...certain people make me happier than others. And those certain people remind me of certain songs. Life is good.

Hey you!

Sometimes I wonder who really reads my blog.

I was just curious.

I think if and when I became engaged I would announce it on my blog.

Why we eat our Wheaties....

Sometimes, it's funny to see who's the strongest in the family....

Clearly, some of us aren't as strong as others.

But it's definitely fun [& a lil painful] trying! :)

The XX Chromosome.

I love my friends, I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

Today, I really love my friend Reed. She's exquiste! She has the 3 cutest little girls! I was able to take some photos of them today and it was so much fun. Just hanging around these 3 lil girls makes me only want girls someday. There's something so wonderful about being a woman. I'm reminded of that everytime I visit with Reed. I love talking with her, she's like part of my family. It was fun chatting with her, on the step of her front yard. I felt like two school girls talking about the boys they like. Maybe it was the cool Autumn weather, or the easiness of a lazy Sunday afternoon...but it was a very memorable conversation. It was so pleasant bonding over 'girl talk'.

I've really started to appreciate 'girl talk' with my girlfriends. I love the way women bond over sharing and confiding in one another. I never had a sister growing up, but I'm so lucky to have my sister-in-law that I've always considered as my sister. I love talking with her, it's always so insightful. Reed & my sister are very much alike, no wonder why we're all friends.

Such a blessing....

Cause it's Saturday...

*I'm listening to Macy Gray sing "Beauty in the World" and now I want a tambourine. I think it would be so much fun!!

*I LOOOOOOOVED Elder Holland's General Conference talk today. I want to be a better person just knowing that he prays for me.

*I've got such an awesome niece!! I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She reminds me of all that is good and beautiful in the world. She has a very caring heart ♥

*I love being home alone. It's soooooooooooooo quiet. So very very quiet.

*I went out shooting today and can I just say, I LOVED LOVED LOVED being behind a camera again. I forgot how I feel so confident behind the lens of a camera. Everything just makes sense and it comes so easily. I miss it when I'm not doing it. Maybe someday soon I'll finish my BFA in it.....

*I still need some change ("necessary texture"...I like that!) in my life. I'm seriously considering CUTTING my hair. I'm kinda done with the long curly hair. I want cute, short, straight hair. I mean, not TOTALLY short, like a lil past my shoulders.

*Oh, and I'm so ecstatic for the LDS members in Tijuana, Mexico...they're getting a temple!! My heart feels so full for them. That's such a wonderful blessing!!! I also like the fact that I'll live closer to a temple in another country than the temple in my own city...it's rather funny.

*Other than that, I just want the next 6 days to FLY by....very fast, very VERY fast!!! I'm just excited...giddy....ok, maybe even anxious to see a certain someone. I'm not the most patient person and I'm trying DESPERATELY to be. I think I'm doing OK at it, but honestly, it's killin' me....ok, I actually suck at it. UGH!!! 6 DAYS..............................

1000 words.

Today, I like this picture:

I look terrible, but it's with my bestie, Eidde and it makes me smile.