Questions NOT to ask a missionary's family:

On the drive home with my sister tonight, we were going over some of the things we're CONSTANTLY asked as we look forward to my nephew's homecoming from his 2 year Mormon mission to Fiji.  Here are the questions and some of the responses I'd really REALLY like to reply with...

Do you miss him?
Are you kidding me?!?! OF COURSE!!! I missed him the second he left!! Have you ever missed someone? Take those feelings, multiply it by an infinity and then maybe you'll feel half of what I've felt for the last 2 years.
Are you excited for him to come home?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?? I've been excited since the very second he left!!  I was already looking forward to him coming home as he read his mission call! 
Didn't that go by fast?
NO!! NO IT DID NOT!!! While you barely noticed he was gone, I was counting every single day he's been gone and every single day til he's to return home.  STOP. ASKING. THIS.!! 
How is he doing?
Well, maybe if you wrote/emailed him, you would know as well. He sends home a weekly [group] email and his letters are posted on his Facebook.  Check there. 
What is he going to do when he gets home?
a. sleep
b. go to school
c. date & try to get married ASAP
d. all of the above because he's now an "RM" [returned missionary]
When is he coming home?
Two years since you last saw him.  August 12, 2011.
Is he happy where he's at?
He's in Fiji, in a beautiful south Pacific island.  Let's think this one over....

We miss him terribly, of course we do.  We love him so much and can't wait for him to come home.  It's been a very long 2 years and await his arrival with open arms and loving hearts.  In the same breath of excitement we're happy/sad that his brother will be leaving us shortly afterwards for his own 2 year mission as well.

Let the questions begin, again......