Cinco.

Man, I'm EXHAUSTED! I can't wait to relax and fall asleep. In the meanwhile....

FRIDAY FAVE 5!!

1.The feeling of accomplishment as I walk out of the gym after a great work out!
2. Hugging my nephew Simi, who's about to leave on his 2 year mission to Fiji.
3. Reminiscing over the last 19 years of Simi's life: the day he was born, his curly baby hair, walking him to Kindergarten, the first time he passed Sacrament, fixing his hair for Prom, opening his mission call. I'm really going to miss him.
4. The fact that I have a date on Sunday!! It's been so loooooong!!!
5. My uber comfy queen size bed.

When one door closes....

...another opens.

But I wasn't expecting such a door to open, and not this soon too.

I guess I have a date, next week with a friend.

I thought we were just hanging out while he was in town, but from his emails it's our "first date". I feel like I'm still scratching my head, wondering when 'hanging out' turned into a date.

He's a nice guy, but I don't see him as date material. I mean in the way that he served his mission here in San Diego a year ago and now he's coming back to visit. He's 25 years old, so at least he's not wet behind the ears 21.

"But whatever you wanna do, whenever you wanna do it, I'm all yours!"--is my guideline as to choosing what we do. I'd say that I'm nervous because I just don't know what he's expecting or what his mindset is. Oh well...we'll see what happens.

Today is Monday.

Yessiree it is....

What's on my mind?

-I can't wait til Utah!! I'm so stoked to see my dear friends and my beloved Pie Pizzeria.

-I love my friend PajamaPants and all he does to make me happy and cheerful, like him.

-I need to go to Wal Mart...shoot me in my head! So much chaos and noise!! UGH!!

-I can't wait to see Flogging Molly in concert, Sept. 21 at the House of Blues! WHOOT!!

-I like starting all of these sentences with "I".

-I'm starting to feel self-centered.

-I could surely use a nap right about now.

-I'm suppose to be at a beach bon fire in a half hour. I don't want to go.

-I have a headache. And I've yet to go to Wal Mart. Hello Migrane city.

-I'm done.

All's well that ends well....

(I just wanted something pretty to look at, if and when I ever read this post again)

I talked to Mr.NY today. It didn't go as well as I would have hoped. We did clear the air as to where we stand with each other. To put it as bluntly and honestly as he did,

"I have no interest in dating you, Ehu."

I'm quite surprised that I was cool, calm and collected throughout the whole phone call. It was actually a really good call--considering... Do I resent him and want to call him every name in the book? No, not really. Do I feel like my heart crumbled inside when I heard those words above? A very tiny bit. I'm truly grateful for his honesty and being up front with me. But as I've been thinking about him in the last couple days, I've realized that we're both EXTREMELY different type of people. I'm not saying this to console myself...but really, we are. Why would he want to date me---I don't ever plan on drinking or having pre-maritial sex. Probably not appealing to him. Does he ever plan on going to church or the temple with me? Probably not. As I sat in the temple yesterday, I kept thinking how I don't want to sit there alone, by myself. I want to be able to attend the temple with whoever I'm dating. He's a very athletic and adventurous, I'm more reserved and relaxed. The call went well and I know that tomorrow in the office won't be any different. He's still a tremendously nice and honest guy and I'm fortunate to have him as a co-worker.

All's well that ends well.

Utah!

I seriously need a change of scenary! I CANNOT wait til I can get away for a few days to UTAH!!! (Aug 10-13) I was looking over old pictures of my time in Utah and just got off the phone right now with my cousin Kema.

I cannot wait to see her and just hang out "talking story" with her. She's the closest thing I have to a sister (besides my own SIL). She just had another baby and I can't wait to see her!

As I'm anticipating this Utah trip, I can't help but remember all the good times I've had there and all the friends that still live there (or near there...) I can't wait to see them!! I feel like I'm going home, but not exactly...does that make sense? I mean, I really enjoyed my time up in Utah and I feel like I'm just going back to something familiar. I love having that feeling.

It didn't go so well....

Helloooooo Ben & Jerry's....

I think I may have bought a few too many movies tonight....oh well, it's not like I'm going on any dates, anytime soon.

Decisions.

I have a lot on my mind. I just got home from dropping off Mr.NY. We had a softball game after work and it was way fun! I didn't play this time, I just shot a lot of photos. As we were driving to his house, we were talking and a lot came to mind.

I like Mr.NY [As if you couldn't already tell], a lot. He's a truly wonderful and kind gentleman. I love being near him. I never have anything to worry about. I trust him. Sometimes, he's too good to be true [aside from the religious aspect].

But...

I feel like I have to make a decision, once and for all. I feel like I'm getting ready to cross a bridge and I'm scared. I don't know if the view from the other side will be worth it. Will it be worth crossing over? Should I just stay safe and sheltered on my side of the bridge? Will I forever regret not trying to cross this bridge? Will I forever wonder, "What if"?. I don't want to be that type of person. I want to know if the view from the other side of the bridge is worth it. I don't want to guess or imagine. I want to know and be grateful for that knowledge--whether the view turns out to be good or bad. I'm scared to change the dynamics of our friendship, but I'm tired of not knowing. Ignorance is not bliss, sometimes. I want to do this, but I need to do this whole heartedly or not at all. And if I don't do it then I need to be okay with where our friendship is. I'm scared...wish me luck tomorrow.

Me + Tomorrow = Court

One of my job tasks is to sometimes mail legal documents that have been served for a case. No big deal, right? Not tomorrow....

One of our clients, an attorney called me at work today, to tell me that I'll need to testify that I did in fact mail the documents to complete the serve. From back in May....

I've never been to court before in my life.

I've never had jury duty.

I don't even know where the court is?!

I'm totally nervous! I don't even know what to expect! I always hear about different people from the office getting called to court. To testify. On the stand! I'm nervous and a lil scared! It's the part of not knowing exactly what to expect, what kind of questions will be asked or how the attorneys are going to treat me. I tried to find solace in my Dispatcher, Turtle--but he was giddy towards me going to court for the first time. So I emailed the one person who would totally understand...Mr.NY.

--------------------------------------

From: Dispatch - San Diego

Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 3:01 PM

To: [Mr.NY]

Subject: What the crap?

Oh my gosh! I've gotta go to court tomorrow due to a mailing. Didn't you just do that for [client] a couple weeks ago?? What the heck happens at court in such a matter?

---------------------------------------

From: [Mr.NY]

Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 3:05 PM

To: Dispatch - San Diego

Subject: RE: What the crap?

Sucks, I need to go to Orange County again this Thursday for that. I wasn’t called to the stand, but you just go in as a witness and answer the questions you are asked. You only did a mailing, so it’ll be very limited as to what they can ask. When & where is the appearance?

----------------------------------------

Before I could even finish reading it, he was walking over to my office. Next thing, I knew he was asking me all kinds of questions and giving me a heads up as to what will happen. I told him I was nervous and he reassured me that everything would be alright. He told me that I'd have to dress up and said, "What you're wearing would work, you look nice today." And then I couldn't get the perma-grin off my face. I felt nervous but talking with him made me feel a lot more at ease. I'm just glad we were able to talk today. I was a lil aprehensive about how it would be between us in the office today....after all that happened between us Friday night. Oh Mr.NY, if only you knew......

And sometimes Fridays are better than Thursdays...

Wow...WOW!! Awesome/crazy/fun night!!!!

Today was my supervisor, RJ's birthday...so Mamacita and I decided to play a lil prank on him:

Then we all went out to celebrate!

Such a FUN night!! I work with some of the craziest/funniest people. They're a fun bunch...and I'm glad PajamaPants came to hang out!! Gotta say that I loved spending time with Mr.NY...I think we're much closer friends, after tonight ;)

Things heard around the office...

This morning, I had my iPod playing...like any other work day. A Hawaiian song came on just as 2 of our drivers walked into my office. The new driver sat down and stopped to listen to the music. He then said, "Oh Hawaiian music. I love it! It reminds me of little Hawaiian villages".
Is this what he imagines Hawaii to look like:

Only when I go to the Polynesian Cultural Center do I see such 'little grass shacks'. The last time I went to Hawaii, I believe this is what I saw:Hmm...could be just me...but that looks nothing like a "Hawaiian village".

You know what day it is....

Oh Thursday, you treat me so well...

-Came across this song on the radio tonight--LOVE IT!!

-Ate lunch with my bestie, Eidde at Filippi's Pizza Grotto. We ALWAYS order the same exact thing: Pepperoni & Sausage pizza with an Antipesto salad....PERFECT!!! It was fun to catch up with him. LOVED IT!!

-Tomorrow's my supervisor's birthday, so Mamacita and I stayed after work (after everyone finally decided to leave around 6:30) to Saran wrap his desk. Lemme clarify that...we saran wrapped everything on the desk (phone, phone stand, pen, picture frame, keyboard, 2 comp. monitors, cup, post-it...etc) and then we wrapped the whole desk and his chair. [I'll post the photos tomorrow]. Oh my gosh, we used about a Costco size box of Saran wrap. Insanely funny!! Let's hope I still have a job tomorrow...

Yesterday.

Yesterday my office had our biweekly softball game. I wasn't exactly sure how to get there, so I asked Mr.NY if he would drive over with me. He agreed but informed me that we would need to stop by his place first so he could change. After work, PajamaPants and his two friends met us at our work. I handed the keys off to Mr.NY and Ruliss so they could wait in my car while I talked to PajamaPants. As I walked up to my car, Mr.NY jokingly said, "Want me to drive?". Knowing that he was joking, I told him that he'd be driving us from his place to the game. We got to his place and he jumped out to go change. In the meanwhile I changed my shoes and jumped in the passenger's seat. (Heck yes I was going to have him drive--plus, I LOVE when a man drives). As he approached the car, he jumped in, threw his stuff to the back and started up the car. Off we went....

Can I just say, that I loveLOVElove being treated like a lady? I love when he drives, it feels so chivalrous. I like the way I feel with him. I feel safe, I trust him. I've only ever felt that way with 2 other men in my life, my brother Dave and PajamaPants. I know that when I'm with them, I have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. I love that feeling. That's a feeling I grew up with and the feeling I desire to have with a future spouse. I don't know how to explain how I feel about Mr.NY. Whenever I'm with him, he always takes control of the situation and I never have a thing to worry about. Do you know how gratifying that feels? For that reason alone, it makes me like him. A lot. :)

Oh! And softball was fun. I don't know if we won or not....but I definitely loved the company!

"Mumble", such a weird word...so is 'Weird'.

Feeling a lil randi...

-One of the drivers from work fell today. He broke his desk chair and fell flat on his butt/back....like he WIPED OUT!! The funny part is that he had TONS of coins in his hand when he fell. Him and his chair hit a couple of desks and chairs and the coins went flying EVERYWHERE. A driver who was close to him said, "That was just like the cartoons!".

-Tomorrow's 'Office Softball Day'! I'm stoked that my friend PajamaPants will be there with his BoyToy. I get to hang with Mr.NY and PajamaPants--HAPPY DAY!

-I like this picture:

-My 19 y/o nephew goes thru the Temple this Saturday. I can't believe that he'll be in the MTC in less than a month!! Gone for 2 years...to the Fiji Suva mission. I feel like I should be hanging out with him more. I'm going to miss him a lot, but I know this is a VERY good thing to happen in his life.

And I think that's about it....

It's Thursday... need I say more?

Something good always happens on a Thursday.

That's why I love it so much!

As I was leaving work late this evening, I could hear Mr.NY whistling at his desk. I thought I'd offer him a ride home. He said, "Sure, if you wanna go to the mall with me". I didn't want to appear desperate to hang with him, so I declined. Five minutes away from the office I realized that I forgot something. As I opened the office door he greeted me saying, "So you do wanna go to the mall with me! I knew it!" I was on my cell at the time, so I nodded and smiled. After I grabbed what I needed I went back by his desk to offer him a ride to the mall. Just then he was grabbing his stuff to leave and said that he didn't want to inconvenience me.

Him...an inconvenience? NEVER!!

So we walked out together, talking about his brothers, my brother's bday gift, OTL....and then I asked him one more time (So much for trying to not look desperate, eh?---can you blame me?! He's HOT!) he gave in and I handed him the keys. I didn't want to drive...I'd rather talk and look at him. (Again, can you blame me?!) He took the long route to the mall---PERFECTLY fine with me. We talked and talked. He mentioned how he's starting to get freckles now and I checked his face. He quickly stated that it was on his chest and shoulders. I suddenly wanted to see these freckles---He has a very lovely chest, it looks very firm.. (Apostate thoughts, I know!)

Anywho, it was a cool lil car ride that covered several "interesting" topics. Oh man.....he's hot!

And then I remembered....

...that today's THURSDAY!!

I kinda forgot about that since I don't work tomorrow. So in my head I think I kept thinking that today's Friday. BUT IT'S NOT!! MUAHAHAAA!!

This Thursday was pretty T-rrrrrific!

"Why?", you may ask...

-While waiting around after work for a friend, a SUPER ANNOYING co-worker, JerkFace, thought he'd set up camp at my desk. (I HIGHLY despise this co-worker because he can dish out the jokes & sarcasm, but as soon as it's turned on him--he reports me and my two co-workers to a supervisor). "Oh, but maybe I should go hang out at Mr.NY's desk since JerkFace won't be able to see me" (Mr.NY knows of the disdain I have for JerkFace and is willing to come to my aid if anything should ever happen--I love the New York side of him :) ) So that's what I did for about 20 minutes. Maybe I should be thankful for JerkFace after all? I hung out talking to Mr.NY and oh man, I love staring at his face while listening to his voice. He's such an easy guy to talk to. Even though he was bogged down with piles full of work, and I apologized profusely, he reassured me that I wasn't bothering or slowing him down. Have I ever mentioned how kind he is? I could go on forever.....

-I got to hang out with two RM's (return missionaries) from my mission. That was so much fun---even though we were on a beach and I was wearing jeans, socks and shoes. I MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE THAT WEAR THAT CRAP TO THE BEACH!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! I wasn't ready to go to a bon fire right after work. UGH!! But I'm glad I went. It was a short visit but it was so nice to "talk story" about the good ol' mish! The Elder who was visitng SD brought his new family. By new I mean, 3 newly adopted kids. His kids are too cute for words. They're all siblings from the same family and are really young. I loved watching him and his wife tend to their kids. I can't wait to have children someday, by birth and adoption. I look forward to that....

-Afterwards I went out to dinner (to my FAVORITE SD Italian place-Filippi's!) with a close friend and his boyfriend. I was nervous. I always get a lil nervous when I hang out with gays. I feel like there's a big bright neon sign on my forehead that says, "Mormon=Prop.8". It was my first time really getting to know his boyfriend. I love this friend dearly so I was really hoping that the evening would go well. I didn't want any kind of awkwardness. I think it went well and I enjoyed everything about the dinner. Such a lovely evening!

-Today's Thursday...ALWAYS my favorite day. I GET to sleep in tomorrow. I'm SO excited. I can't wait til the 4th of July--my FAVORITE holiday!! STOKED STOKED STOKED!!