I don't want to go to church this weekend. No I haven't lost my testimony or feel apostate. I'm just sick and tired of the same 2 families and their SCREAMING kids!!!!! EVERY FREAKIN WEEK IT'S THE SAME OL' SCREAMING...CRYING....RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE AISLES!!!! EVERY FREAKIN WEEK!!!! I'm so damn sick and tired of it. Can't even feel the Spirit, AT ALL!!! Can't even hear the speakers and even the speakers themselves can't keep their focus on their talks!! It's just ridiculous!!!! I just can't stand it anymore. I would walk out and go home...but I can't...who's going to play the organ?
Plus I'm tired of the responsibility of holding 4 callings. I would like to know what it feels like to JUST be a member, nothing more. I just feel burnt out. I miss singing the hymns at church, I really miss that. I miss getting to learn the gospel. I'm just tired of church being work and not worship. But of course I can't feel tired, because how would I be a 'good member if I don't serve'? And I hate guilt trips. And I also can't stand when members make you feel guilty for taking Sunday naps. What the hell?? Just because you don't want to honor "the day of rest", doesn't mean we all have to follow suit. I freakin' hate that.
