I ditched church. To go to church.
Lemme explain....
I didn't feel like going to my ward/congregation. I didn't feel like playing the organ. I didn't feel like giving my Sunday school lesson. I didn't feel like driving allllllllll the way to church (10 minutes east). I just wasn't feeling it. I'm a lil tapped out as far as callings go. Playing and teaching every Sunday makes church more like work, than worship. So I sat in my car for 10 minutes debating life.
I chose to drive 10 minutes west instead. I attended my family's ward. It was nice. I was able to see three dear old friends. That was a tremendous blessing. Then I left early.
To go to McDonalds.
I know, 2 strikes---fast food AND on a Sunday. (Ironic, since my Sunday school lesson was on "The Sabbath Day"). I've had a lingering cold, and when you're achy, tired and it's HOT outside, the last thing you want to do is go home and cook. NO THANKS. It was going on 2pm and the only "food" I'd consumed for the day was a piece of gum I swallowed. I was in the mood for Chicken nuggets. So that's what I had. I sat at park, enjoyed the weekend weather that I NEVER get to see and ate my brunch.
I'm just feeling stretched. I'm still extremely pissed about my department transfer. Especially since the dumb chick thinks she's being transferred because I don't get my job. Oh, if she ONLY knew.... PISSED I tell ya! I love my co-workers. It's like a dysFUNctional family.
I'm tired of my whole weekends ALWAYS being church related. I just want a weekend off. I want to sleep in, go to the beach with my family and see my friends. I want to go to church, sing the hymns in Sacrament meeting and attend class--not teach the lesson.
As we enter 'wedding season', I'm tired of hearing about everyone and their dog getting engaged or married. Freakin' shoot me in my head. UGH! I hate being single. I'm not going to sugar coat it or pretend that I'm not. Being in a relgion that reflects HEAVILY on marriage & families is hard when you don't have one of your own. Looking at my upcoming 29th birthday makes me think, "When am I going to have kids?". I don't want to be old and have history repeat itself. My parents had me when they were 41 & 44. It's hard having a big generational gap between us. I sometimes feel like they don't "get me". Thank goodness for an older brother and sister-in-law who've been like another set of parents to me. Am I being tested right now? Probably so. Are there blessings around the corner? Who knows...
